Is unhappiness a reason for divorce ?

caliber

Here are some sample expressions I found on-line

My spouse is not abusive, mean, a bad person, an adulterer or any of those other labels. My spouse refuses to grow up. Wants to be a child. Resents working all day, coming home, cooking dinner, cleaning up, dealing with children and the other such things that come along with being an adult

I’m a divorced man who didn’t want to be divorced. I wasn’t abusive, didn’t commit adultery, etc. Among other things, she said her life was just moving a different direction. I don’t remember her saying that she wasn’t happy, but I know she wasn’t. However, divorce only complicated her problems

The spouse says "I'm just miserable. I'm not happy. You don't make me happy!"

I think there are so many permutations and combinations...it depends on the reasons for being unhappy. If the marriage didn't start off on the right foot and continued along those lines, if one partner is a serial cheater or has addictions or emotional problems they refuse to work on etc. yes, those are definitely reasons for divorce.

I agree: unhappiness shouldn't cause people to rush into divorce. But sustained unhappiness, where you have clearly told your partner about your needs and your partner chooses to do nothing?

problemaddict

Depends on whether or not you believe in scripture or the sacredness of marriage. If you don't than of course it is.

caliber

Should happiness and unhappiness appear somewhere on this list not to mention the most obvious love ?

Top reasons people marry
Feeling that marriage signifies commitment
Moral values
Belief that children should have married parents
It is the natural thing to do
Financial security
Religious beliefs

Top reasons couples separate or divorce
Different values and interests
Abuse — physical and emotional
Alcohol and drugs
Infidelity
Career-related conflict

http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/story/2010/10/04/vanier-study004.html

caliber

Depends on whether or not you believe in scripture or the sacredness of marriage. If you don't than of course it is.

I'm thinking you mean sustained unhappiness ?

Here is one on-line reply

I agree: unhappiness shouldn't cause people to rush into divorce. But sustained unhappiness, where you have clearly told your partner about your needs and your partner chooses to do nothing? Well, after trying for "long enough" I felt my complete happiness was my duty to find and since I could not find it with her, then I'd find it elsewhere.

..... total lack of caring or effort to improve

Satanus

Some people are just unhappy. If they divorce, they will still be unhappy. Others, are just happy. Should people who have never grown up be married? Marriage sacred? What a larf!! Until god comes down here and sets up embassies manned by angels, then it's no more sacred than the bond holding two geese together.

S

PaintedToeNail

How bizarre! I was just looking up 'marriage dissatisfaction', then switch to this site, and lo and behold this topic!

I am unhappy in my marriage. I've changed so much and my spouse hasn't. It is very frustrating. The other week, he was angry that while he was at the Sunday meeting with the kids, I went to see the movie "Lincoln" by myself. He acted like a baby when he got home and I wasn't here. My son said he was looking all over for me and when he read my note, he told my son 'our family is falling apart'. My whole married life I have waited and waited and waited for him to acknowledge my existence. When I finally stop waiting, and start trying to live, he is upset. I know longer care one way or the other, and he is feeling frightened, and is clingy and annoying, with long overdue declarations of love...it no longer matters to me.

caliber

Some people are just unhappy. If they divorce, they will still be unhappy.~~Satanus

"I think in most cases No (excluding abuse & affairs) Because our happiness isn't our partners responsibility it's our own. if we are unhappy, don't get a divorce (you'll still be unhappy) you look within yourself and search for inner peace & inner happiness"

"There are always periods of unhappiness in any marriage. It can be unhappiness with yourself. The marriage may fail to live up to your expectations (and your expectations may be unreasonable). It may be outside stressors that take their toll.

And of course there is always that period where the honeymoon wears off and you realize that you have fallen into a routine. So people feel they have fallen out of love and are unhappy.

It's not so straightforward to just ask whether divorce if the option if you are unhappy. It has to be a much deeper conversation."

caliber

I am unhappy in my marriage. I've changed so much and my spouse hasn't.

I think this can be the biggest problem growing in different directions.

for sure deeper conversations are needed right ?

this expression makes sense then..

Love is not gazing into each other's eyes; it is looking together in the same direction

SixofNine

I went to see the movie "Lincoln" by myself.

Great movie, eh? Emancipation is a wonderful thing.

(aside from that angle... I wonder how I might have appreciated/not appreciated Lincoln as a JW. I felt within the first few minutes of the movie that I was being humbled by greatness... but of course a JW doesn't get to acknowledge the greatness of a "mere" human who can accomplish great things separate from Jehovah, and certainly not through the use of politics!).

caliber

A couple should normally desire "together time " so what happens when one says "I need space"

What is missing in such a relationship for a desire to actally enjoy alone time.. too much responsibilty,

differences tastes in enjoyment ? What gets lost in our feelings ? How do feelings change ?

Is it a slow death ?

When give and take are lost there is a problem

Is unhappiness a reason for divorce ?

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