WHAT ARE YOUR MOST VIVID, ODD, or FUNNY Memories of Conventions and Assemblies of Jehovah's Witnesses?

by Balaamsass 86 Replies latest jw experiences

  • Lapuce

    Well I used to work at assemblies and conventions in the security department standing in some corner or sitting on a seat watching the brothers and sisters so that all went well, and I used to work midnights at that time, so I used to fall all the time asleep, so I can imagine the brothers and sisters seeing me doing my guarding duties sleeping. It was a good way to make those assembies, special days etc pass faster, then sitting with my dub wife which always woke me up while I snoozed. So I always managed to find a spot where I had duty and not be near her to be waken up!

  • LisaRose

    144,001: I have vivid memories of Dodger Stadium, in the summer, on uncomfortable seats, all day, every day, for 5 days straight.

    I remember dreading it worse than anything else in my life.

    I went to many assemblies at Dodger stadium, some with small children, they were grueling to say the least. Sitting in the sun, boiling hot, vainly trying to use an umbrella to not get sunburned. This should have been a clue that the organization couldn't are less about the health and well being of the rank and file, but missing a convention wasn't even considered. The last few I went to were at the Cow Palace, a palace it wasn't, pretty old and dank, but at least you didn't sit in the sun. The last few years I blew them off completely.

  • cedars

    I was at this convention (along with Simon, it seems) when the Manchester Evening News arena was evacuated due to a bomb scare.


    Some guy left his briefcase unattended, and mayhem unsued. The bomb squad was called in and carried out a controlled explosion on a bag full of books and bibles.

    Absolutely hilarious.


  • finally awake
    finally awake

    There was a bomb scare in Evansville Indiana one year too. Must have been around 2005 - someone left a briefcase unattended and the bomb squad came in and blew it up. It made the news.

  • cantleave

    We had a bomb scare at Southampton many years ago too.

  • bigmac

    my late mother told me:

    twickenham--london UK the early 60's.

    the womens toilets were tent latrines with a wooden seat over a bucket--which some volunteer had to remove from the back/beneath.

    mother reluctantly used the facility--not just for a pee.

    at the precise moment nature took its course--the bucket was yanked away for servicing.

    i think she sh4t herself.

  • Heartofaboy

    I hated the assemblies.

    All my life as a JW I hated the assemblies.

    I'd sit there either freezing or scorching thinking 'What the hell am I doing here'

    Something funny?.......Well perhaps not that funny but it woke everyone up.

    It was HOT & an elderly 'heavy' was giving the public talk with the sun beating down on him in his suit. He droned on for 20 mins or so sending everyone to sleep. Then he started repeating the same line over & over then repeated it again gradually missing out more & more words. It was like a wind up toy winding down.

    It was obvious to all around that someting was wrong with him but it took ages for the stage loons to go on to the stage to help him.

  • Chaserious

    I remember going to the conventions at Veterans Stadium in Philadelphia, and most years it seemed to be about 90-100 degress with no breeze in most parts of the stadium. One year a speaker even passed out on the turf. So the best seats in the stadium were those right in front of the upper level openings into the concourse because the breeze would blow through the openings. There were about 40 openings around the stadium, which we usually referred to as breezeways. Anyway, a lot of families would have tarp canopies that would cover about 20 seats, and they all wanted to set up their tarps right in front of the breezeways because then you could be in the shade and have a breeze. Now, they didn't open the doors to the stadium until 8:00 AM, and the brothers who worked inside weren't allowed to reserve seats until 8:00 AM. But without fail, they would be standing right next to the breezeways at 7:59 AM, and would reserve them before anyone else had a fair shot. Once you set up your tarp, you basically claimed all 20 seats in the shade under your tarp (even though they always said you couldn't save seats for people outside of your family.) So, usually after the insiders vultured some of the breezways, there would be about 15 left of the original 40.

    Once the doors opened at 8:00 A.M., there would be about 1,000 people trying to sprint up the ramps to plant their tarp in front of a breezeway. There were about 8 steep uphill ramps you had to walk up, each about 50 yards long. So it was basically a quarter mile uphill to get to a breezeway. It was so funny seeing these fat older brothers trying to carry their tarps up the ramps, racing like it was the 100 meter Olymipic finals. Some of them would get all tired out, sweat soaking through their K-Mart short-sleeve dress shirts, and they would hand the tarp off to their preteen son, hoping he could race up the rest of the way and plant the tarp in front of a breezeway like he was Neil Armstrong planting the flag on the moon. All so they could be one of the privileged few not to sweat their asses off for the day. Of course they had to repeat every day, since you could only claim the holy grail for one day at a time.

    Also, the unlucky who didn't score breezeway seats would often fade during the day and retreat into the breezway itself to suck up the sweet shade and breeze. In every breezeway, you would see people just sitting on the concrete, some with blankets to lay on. A lot of them looked like homeless people, except in cheap dress clothes instead of dirty t-shirts or sweats. They would be laying down on their blankets on the concrete floor, belongings all around, perhaps their hands clutching onto a bible and a new convention release as they fell asleep on the ground. I even heard some of them snoring at times. They always made announcements during the song break not to sit on the ground in the concourse, but people always did it anyway. The attendants couldn't stop it; it would have been like trying to send rats back onto a sinking ship trying to get all of these people back into the scorching Gehenna of the general attendance seats.

  • RoosterMcDooster

    The parking attendants always cracked me up how they would always wave the batons wildly around making a show of it.

    After a long day at the convention we were exiting the parking lot, driving down the long row of cars when a jw fam got into a big van and backed out in front of us and bumpered the parked car behind it pretty hard. They didn't stop to check for damage just kept on going!

    I have a vivid memory of a conversation I had with a pioneer/ ms that moved away and I hadn't seen him in a while. When we saw each other at the dc he came over and we had the long-time-no-see conversation, and then he stared talking about me being in the drama. I didn't know what he was talking about. He would say somthing about it and I would reply, what, no I'm not in the drama tomorrow. And he would go on about me kidding around and say something else about it. We went around and around for a minute or so and finally he said he knew I was in the drama because of my beard. Sorry bro those drama beards are fake. His eyes crinkled up, and he got a funny look on his face and he asked do you still have your privileges. Nope. We chatted for a few moments then did the see-you-later thing. That was the last I ever saw him.

  • Chaserious

    Rooster - the people who pulled the hit and run must have been bible studies. Guarantee that's what my Dad would have said.

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