WHAT ARE YOUR MOST VIVID, ODD, or FUNNY Memories of Conventions and Assemblies of Jehovah's Witnesses?

by Balaamsass 86 Replies latest jw experiences

  • TheOutSpoken1
  • TheOutSpoken1

    I remember people falling down the stairs when we had conventions at stadiums.......those cement stairs provided much entertainment. I also enjoyed looking around after the lunch break....i found it hilarious when people would wake up all startled and applause.....after the applause is over.

    Signing Out


  • PaintedToeNail

    Oh yeah, one other really funny and gross one: At a CA, we chose a seat, then changed our minds to sit with some other friends several rows behind where we had originally picked. A sister sits down with her kid, who is about 7 or 8 years old. About 30 minutes into the session, the kid jumps up and vomits ALL OVER the people in front of him! They were covered in barf. The one who got the worst of it was a young guy about 16, 17 years old, all over his hair, suit, everything. Poor guy, at that age all you want to be is cool, and being barfed on certainly cuts the cool!

    Everyone around them flew out of their seats, afraid they would get barfed on too, as the little kid kept heaving. The young guy and his dad crawled to the bathroom to try to get some of the vomit off. A brother who was using the bathroom at the time said the young guy said to everyone in the bathroom, 'This is the grossest thing that ever happened to me!!!!'

    Thankfully, they had stayed overnight for the CA and had clean clothes and a hotel room to clean up in!

    We had vacated those chairs to sit with our friends...I have never been so happy that we seat swapped!

  • notjustyet

    Of we could find the sister with the floating toe, we might be able to save her a lot of heartache.


  • Terry

    Teenage boys....brothers....pimples and greasy hair....dressed in cheap suits....scanning for sisters to sit with them.....desperate and anxious.

    That was us, me and my fellow JW's at every convention or assembly.

    These between session surveillances were serious business!

    What could be better than to find a cutes sister and ask her to sit with you??

    That was what it was all about!

    I can vividly remember sitting between two sisters with my arms crossed in front of me so that I could simultaneously hold hands with BOTH of them without the other one seeing! I was preening my eago like a peacock.

    The solitary sight of brothers who just couldn't find anybody to sit with them was a tragedy indeed.

    The girls always hung out together like guerilla fighters in solidarity. That is--unless it was obvious a certain Bro had eyes for one of them. Then, she'd peel off and make an inviting target!

    Ahhh, those were the days.

    You'd be sitting there holding her hand and some jackass on the platform would be booming his sermon about how close the End was. I never heard more than a few words at a time because the blood was roaring inside my head. Hormones are extraordinary when you're 17!! It's all there is, in fact.

    A few years later it became policy that you had to take your seat between sessions because so many of the christian "yoots" were hanging out hitting on each other and larfing it up.

    I doubt any person under the age of 21 ever went to an assembly without a dating agenda in mind.

    Am I wrong?

  • cofty

    You're not wrong Terry

    Open Mind - Brilliant

  • Big Mama
    Big Mama

    OK.....1- a brother talking about the marvels of Gods creations and the 8 testicles of an octopus....maybe he meant to say tentacles--- but he said testicles-- two or three times, I don't know maybe he knew a very manly octopus. 2- A sick child being carried out by his Dad holding him facing the row of seats in front of them and the kid puking on 4 or 5 southern ladies dressed to the hilt.... 98 degree Yankee Stadium heat w/ equal humidity.....no wonder the kid was sick.Well, that and of course the 'kill me now so I don't have to listen anymore' boring talks.

  • Bungi Bill
    Bungi Bill


    Something similar!

    I was 18 when I attended the "Divine Victory" international assembly in 1973, and was smitten by the love bug for the very first time. For me, the most memorable assembly ever.


  • Christ Alone
    Christ Alone

    This isn't funny, but it's vivid.

    I worked in the first aid department for a few years at our DCs. My first year we were called out to a report that a sister had fainted. We got there and the woman was not breathing. The attendents asked us to drag the woman behind the bleachers so that disruption would not be caused during the program. I was shocked. We spent time dragging this woman away before starting CPR. Eventually the fire dept got there and took over CPR. The attendents standing around kept asking the paramedics to lower their voices as they were disrupting the program. You couldn't avoid seeing the look of disgust on the medics faces. They were being "encouraged" to whisper as the medic was ordering the other EMTs around and contacting the hospital by radio.

    The program kept going, with people taking notes only a few feet away, and she was eventually taken away in the ambulance. As one of the fire fighters was leaving he turned to me and said, "I can't believe you people." I never felt so low in my life. I heard that the sister DID make it. So that's the good part of the story, I suppose.

    And to think that the last convention had a drama called "What is true love?" Sick...

  • ÁrbolesdeArabia

    The Apostate at the "Cow Palace" getting drug out by three eighty year old men, while screaming "False Prophets! 'FALSE PROPHETS!" during a long closing prayer!

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