How do you keep your hopes up while in this doomed existence?

by sabastious 107 Replies latest jw friends

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  Xanthippe

  I try and think big picture. I look at things historically and globally. If life is getting you down now you should read history. It's less that 100 years since every household in the developed world had indoor plumbing installed. Clean water to drink. A whole tub of hot water to soak in every day! Flush toilets! Look around the world, millions don't have these thing now!

  Smallpox eradicated. Peope used to say if you got soaked in the rain a hundred years ago, 'you'll catch your death'. Why, because without anti-biotics which became widely available in the 1940s a cold often killed people. The side-effect of a cold - a chest infection, bronchitis, often saw people off. Do we expect to die from a cold now? Of course not. Children are now innoculated against Rubella which used to cause many babies to be born deaf and blind.

  All the lovely food in our refridgerator and cupboard from all over the world. Olives, oranges, pineapples, spices, potatoes, mangoes, avocados, strawberries, blueberries etc etc. I read a novel once about medieval Britain and all they seemed to eat was mutton and onions and more onions, every day.
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  sabastious

  Shelby and jgnat, thank you for your responses. I need to contemplate on them before replying and I may not at all. Both were deep and eye opening and I thank you from the bottom of my soul for taking the time to write them.

  I believe in God, Sab. However I do NOT believe that his protection for us, after we die, is limited at all. I'm a universalist. God's love is unconditional and surpasses anything human beings can understand. I don't care how faithful a follower you dream you are, you could die at any time. I don't dwell on that as a negative. It just makes me feel much more appreciative of every blessing I have right now.

  In the show LOST there is a character who randomly dies and it's a startling experience. This character has a decent arc and all of the sudden they are gone. After it happens another character laments over the death saying that when the Island is done with you, it's really done with you. I feel the same for when tragedy takes place. It means that the ride of life has come to an end for that person. It doesn't have to mean their life was void of purpose, but it also doesn't mean that such a fate was the ONLY purpose that the life could fulfil, only that it has come to completion. However, I believe in a World of Karma where everything equalizes in the long term. I do believe in blessings and curses, but in a way that most religious people would find unconventional.

  When we see what we regard as senseless loss it appears we are wired to react. Sometimes that reaction is just a wince others it changes the course of a life. When I came to this forum was a time when I found out that the suffering I endured through childhood was shared by many. It was at this point when I felt I had a responsibility to do something that can positively affect the lives of others who shared my pain. Cedars recent post "It isn't my home anymore" really drives the point home for me. He is on the other side of the world and is experiencing damn near the exact same thing as me. It's simply remarkable, but it also shows me that my problems are in no way localized, this is a world epidemic. Mind control is at the heart of our problems as a species. At this point it seems right to bring up the parable of the Good Samaritan because the people of the world are watching so much suffering of the mind which creates suffering of the body. Our minds desperately yearn to be free and it's up to us to break our chains and free as many as possible before our time is up.

  -Sab
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  still thinking

  Nice post tal...
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  sabastious

  The only other thing I have to offer is that children ask questions, and we need only answer enough to satisfy their curiosity. As they grow older, the questions get more complex. A 5YO may want to know "where is Uncle X now?", and will be satisfied with 'no longer in pain, and is at rest'. By the time puberty is reached, they questions will get more difficult, and the spectrum of answers broader. By that age, your child will have the language skills and basic knowledge to be able, as part of the journey to adulthood, ask you for guidance in their personal search for truth. S/he will also be an adolescent who is secure and happy with who they are, and will not be easily frightened by the harsher realities of the world situation. They will know that it's important to revel in the joys of life, and also feel the pain, cry the tears of loss. Realize that the most important thing is to 'keep an even keel'. It's only human.

  Tal, that's a good way to look at it. Just say that they are at peace, but what about someone who was not in pain and died tragically? What do you say if they show persistent inquiry and frustration for the lack of sense to the situation at hand?

  -Sab
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  talesin

  What do you say if they show persistent inquiry and frustration for the lack of sense to the situation at hand?

  I am taking a guess - this is how you feel, now. It's valid, yes, and perhaps that is a big issue at this moment. Dealing with the disappointment you feel in facing up to the reality of our sick, sick, world. I can relate. You worry about how this will affect your dear tiny one(s).

  With your child so young, you have the time to examine your own hopeless and frustrated feelings, before you pass them on. You want your legacy to be one of hope and a feeling of 'being all right with the world'. Am I going in the right direction?

  Life is challenging, and always has been. Just think about past centuries - people have always had to deal with horrific problems on a societal level. The key, I think, is to focus on the microcosm in which we live. Yes, care about world hunger, but don't let it put you in despair. Take that energy and volunteer once a week with the poor, or just volunteer with anything. That is empowering. We cannot solve the world's problems on our own, but contributing to the solution in a personal way can make us realize that life is worth living. That's just one suggestion, but you see where I am going? Maybe you would prefer to write one letter per month to a politician, activist or organization. That, too, is empowering. See, I'm talking about taking action (even small things) that empower you, as opposed to overthinking problems we cannot solve, and sinking into despair.

  Children will follow our lead, if we are positive and matter-of-fact. It's work, at times, to feel that way when we see the news, especially if we dwell on it. There is a big difference between being aware of world problems, and doing something to help them, and letting them overwhelm you and deprive you of the joy you may be able to find in this moment.

  xo

  tal

  tx, ST :))
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  talesin

  someone who was not in pain and died tragically?

  "I know this is unfair. Mrs. A (teacher, perhaps) was a wonderful lady, and you are right. It's sad that she got hit by a bus. What do you think she would tell you?"

  ....

  "Yes, it's okay to feel sad for Mrs. A and her family, and for yourself. You lost someone very important. It's good to feel, even this pain. It's also good to realize that this is part of life, and Mrs. A would want you to carry on enjoying life as she taught you ...... (etc.) as you start to miss her less. It is not a betrayal to be able to feel happy again. Show me/tell me (etc.) something Mrs. A taught you - let's celebrate her life."

  PS. Hope this was food for thought, I just checked in, but have flu and won't be back tonight. Later, and chin up! :))
• 

  sabastious

  With your child so young, you have the time to examine your own hopeless and frustrated feelings, before you pass them on. You want your legacy to be one of hope and a feeling of 'being all right with the world'. Am I going in the right direction?

  Yes, I don't want my negativity to affect my children and I want to be able to dispel it when it crops up in them. There is a lot to be negative about.

  Life is challenging, and always has been. Just think about past centuries - people have always had to deal with horrific problems on a societal level. The key, I think, is to focus on the microcosm in which we live. Yes, care about world hunger, but don't let it put you in despair. Take that energy and volunteer once a week with the poor, or just volunteer with anything. That is empowering. We cannot solve the world's problems on our own, but contributing to the solution in a personal way can make us realize that life is worth living. That's just one suggestion, but you see where I am going?

  I do see where you are going and it's not the first time I have been suggested to give back my community. I am a pianist and I could offer my services for free at old folks homes for instance.

  Maybe you would prefer to write one letter per month to a politician, activist or organization. That, too, is empowering. See, I'm talking about taking action (even small things) that empower you, as opposed to overthinking problems we cannot solve, and sinking into despair.

  I consider JWN activism for a worthy cause, however reading the stories here can be pretty disheartening at times, but it's nice to be able to use my own experience to harbor some hope every now and then.

  Children will follow our lead, if we are positive and matter-of-fact. It's work, at times, to feel that way when we see the news, especially if we dwell on it. There is a big difference between being aware of world problems, and doing something to help them, and letting them overwhelm you and deprive you of the joy you may be able to find in this moment.

  Ah, so you are saying that if my child sees me giving back then they will see life as worth living no matter what world news throws at us. Thanks for the thought, that's encouraging.

  "Yes, it's okay to feel sad for Mrs. A and her family, and for yourself. You lost someone very important. It's good to feel, even this pain. It's also good to realize that this is part of life, and Mrs. A would want you to carry on enjoying life as she taught you ...... (etc.) as you start to miss her less. It is not a betrayal to be able to feel happy again. Show me/tell me (etc.) something Mrs. A taught you - let's celebrate her life."

  I really don't like the "it's a part of life" argument. I understand it's truth, but I would say something like, "It's a part of life that we are looking to change." We don't want people being hit by buses that's why we have crosswalks. We are a species who not only has tragedy but looks to create a future with LESS of it and we actually succeeding in that venture and that's something to be encouraged about.

  -Sab
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  sizemik

  Take what they say with the understanding that they don't know everything and a lot of science is educated guess. . . . FHN

  FlyingHighNow . . . I appreciate you're focussing on the fact that what we know to be "possibilities", are also "maybe's", until more is known, but it's also just a touch sweeping.

  Scientists don't know everything and that is not their claim. If everything were known there would be no such thing as science . . . only knowledge. Science is a process where facts more often become established over time, rather than a single moment of discovery. There is evidential speculation, hypothesis, collected data, experimentation, theory, and accepted fact in science, and the threshold for each is set very high by the nature of the process. It's worth knowing these, and where the thresholds lye.

  But a lot of science is not educated guess . . . and an educated guess is not science, it's just a guess. Sab will choose whatever he chooses, but unwarranted mistrust of a whole resource which may be vital to him, will not enhance his judgement. A strong sense of curiousity should prompt us to look deeply into things with our eyes open. But a vital step is to cross-verify everything, repeatedly if necessary, until we satisfy ourselves in our own mind what to trust . . . that is a good approach, I'm sure you'll agree.
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  sizemik

  A few years from now the slow moving undersea plume of Fukushima radiation will begin hitting the west coast of Canada and the USA- anyone who is living in those areas will be assaulted with radiation that will force millions of people to leave their homes and accept a FEMA tent city in the desert as their refuge. . . . Moshe

  Lovely thought.
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  talesin

  Yes, I was kinda relaying what I've observed/learned over the years... but in a general way. Just thoughts, you know, brainstorming to give you some ideas.

  Glad it was helpful. It's so wonderful to me, always, to see others who really want a good future for their kids, and put a lot of thought, effort and *genuine* love into their child raising.

  Bouquets to you!

  .. and all the mums and dads on the board who are breaking the chain of abuse and nurturing and loving their children.

  tal