Service meeting topic: Masturbation

by perfect1 104 Replies latest jw experiences

• 

  00DAD

  Pistoff, nice way to turn the phrase!

  Can you just imagine the meeting of the GB boys when this subject came up to schedule it on the TMS! I wonder who suggested it?

  • GB1: Brothers, ahem, I think we need to schedule a talk on the Theocratic Ministry School on the subject of masturbation.
  • GB2: Excuse me, but what does that have to do with the ministry aspect of the TMS?
  • GB3: What would be the suggested presentation, "Hi, we're calling on our neighbors today to ask them if they like to masturbate on a regular basis and what they think God's viewpoint is on the subject!"
  • .......

  Apparently no one asked that GB2 question since it was scheduled. Either that or GB1 or GBx had a pretty good answer. Can't imagine what that could have been.

  Those guys are really whacked! [Pun intended]

  • • GB1: [With an old, thin voice straining to sound authorative] "Yes brothers, Jehovah appointed US to care for Christ's sheep and to make sure that none of the young brothers are playing with their penises!"
    • GB2: "What about the sisters and their vaginas?"
    • GB1: "Well the brothers shouldn't play with those either. They're not playthings you know.
    • GB3: "That wouldn't be 'masturbation', that would be 'porneia,' ... uh, 'porn-ayuh', ... uh, 'por-nee-yuh', ... uh, damn I can never spell that word! Oh, what the hell, 'Fornication'!"
    • GB2: "No, no! I meant the sisters playing with their own vaginas."
    • GB4: Incredulous, "They can do that?"
    • GB2: "Yes they can and some of them do!"
    • GB3-7: Collectively, "How do you know?"
    • GB2: Nervously, "Um, ... ah, I've heard. That's how I know!"
    • GB1: "Well the sisters shouldn't play with those either. They're not playthings you know."
    • GB-All: "So we're in agreement. We have a part on the TMS telling the young brothers and the young sister not to play with themselves, ... uh, I mean to masturbate, ... or precisely to NOT masturbate!"
    • GB2: "What about the older brothers and sisters? Some of them do it too!"
    • GB3-7: Collectively, "How do you know?"
    • GB1: "Oh don't start that again!"
    • .... murmuring all around ...
    • GB1: "Let's move on to the next item on our agenda and then I move we break for lunch. It's nearly noon!"

  And so this is how the unusual subject of MASTURBATION, which clearly has nothing to do with the Christian Ministry, got on the schedule of the TMS in a congregation near you!

  00DAD
• 

  Pistoff

  How many songs about it can we list?

  I'll start:

  Turning Japanese
• 

  mrsjones5

  I touch myself

  er hm, that's a song title.
• 

  00DAD

  Sab: LOL! I wonder what the signs are!

  See my post near the bottom of page #2 above. It gives the times where the signs occur. Let's just say they are unmistakeable!
• 

  Glander

  If I may interupt the pun parade for a moment...

  The ban on masturbation that is a part of the WT culture is a serious, disturbing doctrine taught to young people in the organization. It produces guilt and frustration among the youth who do their bet to control their bodies as they go through the awkward years of puberty and growth into adulthood. It is cruel and unusual mental abuse of these vulnerable and good hearted youth. It also reveals the hypocrisy of those who preach it, as they themselves masturbated and probably still do. Another example of the heartless manipulation of good people in order to control them through guilt for their natural development as a human being.

  I consider it one of the top ten ugly, loveless, teachings of this high control doomsday cult.
• 

  sabastious

  Medical textbooks prior to the 18th Century seldom mentioned masturbation at all. In 1758 a Swiss physician named Tissot published a treatise claiming that masturbation* was the principal cause of mental illness---a terrible sin to be avoided like the plague. In spite of many rebuttals and critiques by contemporaries, Tissot's views became a standard reference found in most all medical textbooks published until the early part of our century.
  
  In 1834 Dr. Sylvester Graham wrote that the loss of semen during sex was injurious to health (a popular idea at the time); men, Graham believed, should not have intercourse more than twelve times a year. Masturbation was especially pernicious, he said. To reduce sexual cravings, Graham advised mild foods to decrease sexual appetites. The graham cracker was the result! In 1884, this curious connection between food and sex appeared in another guise. Dr. John Harvey Kellogg created cornflakes to curtail children's inclinations toward masturbation. Kellogg, who was quite a health eccentric, wrote:

  "The use of the reproductive function is perhaps the highest physical act of which man is capable; its abuse is certainly one of the most grievous outrages against nature which it is possible for him to perpetrate."

  See Porn Flakes: Kellogg, Graham and the Crusade for Moral Fiber. (Disclaimer: I do NOT agree with Dr. Kellogg and his school of thought. This link is for information purposes only.) - Source

  -Sab
• 

  EmptyInside

  Well,they've has women give the talk in the Ministry School,and some of the settings were pretty hilarious. Now,that I think back,it is really crazy,er,nuts of them to even consider such a topic.
• 

  jam

  Elderly Brother giving a talk on unclean acts. The bible is

  very clear, do not lie with a woman when she is masturbating.

  A few giggles. A brother corrected him, that,s menstruating.
• 

  Glander

  When you have the control over people to the point they will refuse life saving medical treatment for their children, etc., you might as well tell them how and where they can kiss their mates or touch their own body.
• 

  karter

  Did he get a "Work on it" or "Improved"?

  Karter.