to date JWism has defined my life and i hate that TRUTH

oompa

and i am finding the adjustment to the real world far more difficult than i ever imagined...i f...it has been about five years since i totally woke up to the fraudulant NWT and then all my other doubts i had carried for years were proved true as well

but almost all of my few friends are exjw or slack jw's and i feel so isolated...my sons friends are mostly exjw too but not their gf's and they have way more NORMAL friends

HOW have YOU done at replacing lifelong friends and family? to make things worse i have no siblings nor aunts uncles nor cousins as both my parents were only children too...and of course i never kept up with high school friends like most jws...so i have a TINY support system going here

and is anybody now way too afraid of getting old??? IT SUCKS!!!....sucks even more when you were brainwashed into believing u would never grow old and die...geeze i wanted to walk back in 1995...mindfluckers!

not wanting to be a homebody...but now i feel like one already...nothing will get better if i dont get off my ass i know...have tried meetup.com but i think i am so used to being a couple that i dont fit in solo??? geeze i need more therapy....

i know i am not alone in how much some of us have lost....and so much loss and pain...that i even thought of a last dich effort to save my marriage by going back to the...gag...kindom hall! so now u know i am really really struggling...ugh..it would kill me just to try and i would wear the purple H deservedly...but my life would be soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo much easier and wealthier and omg would get a wonderful wife back....in case nobody rememers i have always said she walks on water...but stubbon and unreasoning...omg......sorry for the ramble...and i think i need a wingman or winggal is the answer...i make a great wingman btw!

00DAD

oompa: HOW have YOU done at replacing lifelong friends and family?

Obviously you can't REPLACE them, but you can make new friends and family.

It's hard and it takes time, but it can be done.

The best part is that your new friends will love you for WHO you are, not WHAT you are.

I know it sucks, but you gotta' get out there and make some connections with people.

00DAD

rather be in hades

this is not easy for sure.

like you i have a very small family. in terms of replacing them, i have some very very close friends that i consider family and i guess in that sense, they've been replaced, though the honest truth is, growing up in the cult forced me further from my family and closer to the friends i felt would accept me for who i am and not what i believed.

it's tough but hang in there. don't be afraid of getting old. if anything, be afraid of letting them define the rest of your life while preventing you from fully enjoying the opportunities in front of you.

the new system is now. all the things you were going to put off for then, do now!

with the exception of petting an adult tiger or something like that...i wouldn't recommend that lol

worldtraveller

One must hate the truth when the truth is a lie.

I have found that it is hard to find folks not drenched in religion. These folks seem programmed to try to "save" all their friends.

I am quite tired of it all actually.

stillin

oompa. Good to hear your voice, tho you could be a little more cheerful!

Hey, you're in NC, I'm in SC how far North are you exactly? I an still working but I get pretty close to Asheville sometimes.

Bob_NC

LoisLane looking for Superman

Oompa, You have gone through hell and come out the other side. I am so sorry for all of your losses. Is your wife open to you returning to her, if you return to the hall?

She still loves/cares for you and you still/always love her? What a horrible situation.

I am still grappling with the normal peoples thinking of... yeah your getting older, so what, it's better than 6 feet under.

But like a child at christmas who had told Santa Claus personally (at the shopping mall) what he wanted as a gift, then comes christmas morning. The child, with big eyes full of life and joy and excitement, running through his little body KNOWS he's going to get the gift he wanted. Santa/Jehovah doesn't lie. He goes to the xmas tree, spots a gift with his name on it, opens it but its not what he wanted. He thinks. Where did I go wrong? "Have you been a good little boy or girll?" "Yes Santa". How long does it take to keep mulling over in his little head, what happened?

What happened? We xJW's "kids" were following a pied piper to...to no where. We were lied to. There is no santa clause. There is no great gift of everlasting life here on a paradise earth. We will get old. And we will die.

Some of us little people while in the rank and file, worked, went to the hall, went in service, and still felt unfulfilled in love, sex, education, job opportunies, life experiences. We fee/feltl frustrated. But wait...wait on Santa Claus/Jehovah. He will correct everything. This is not your only life. Why, this imperfect body/life is just for a short time, and then the former things will all pass away. That IS true. ALL mankind will pass away. The Governing Body are a group of happy/greedy men.They are happy right NOW. They have power, prestiege, friends, fulfilling work, nat'l and int'l travel, with complete strangers who greet them with open arms where ever they go. They get wined and dined and don't worry about picking up the check. All JW's pay for THEM to have a great life right NOW. Shame on THEM!

Quandry

Oompa, it is hard to make new friends.

I find I can't get close to people. I feel they wouldn't understand, and I feel that the WT stuff is baggage I carry around and that I shouldn't burden others with it. So I usually feel bad for people that seem to want to be friends...not feeling that I have much to offer.

For my husband it is even harder...he recently retired, and has no avenue to meet new people.

ziddina

OOOOOOMPA!!!

Hey man!

Good to hear from you, and sorry that things aren't going as well as they could....

'Fraid I don't have many answers for you. I always maintained "worldly" friends, despite the Watchtower warnings against "bad associations". Heck, most of the elders' kids [in the kingdom hall in which I grew up] were far worse than my "worldly" friends!!!

So I never got into the habit of shunning or avoiding "worldly" friendships. In fact, while I was a JW in process of waking up/exiting, I had several good "worldly" friends that I could rely upon for a non-judgmental shoulder to cry on, decent advice, and so on.

I'm also very alone in this world, having disowned my parents, my brother and some of my father's extended family - just the ones who are currently JW - but man, I wouldn't have it ANY other way!!!

I wish I could transplant my feelings of freedom into your brain. You can make friends, just be sure you are cautious and wise in who you choose - no 'druggies', no manipulators, and so on.

After all, you've got all of US as your friends!!!! friends

LoisLane looking for Superman

Ziddina,

"After all, you've got all of US as your friends!!!!"

Just 10 little words.

Thank you for saying them.

to date JWism has defined my life and i hate that TRUTH

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