Unconditional Love-How would you describe it? (page 7)

rip van winkle

Ziddina- "I'd knock that fluffy-bunny-rainbow-unicorn stuff right outta you!!!" - Oh yeah Z- I’d like to see you try!!! That's the first and last time I've been described that way!!! Z, Was that your attempt to insult me? LOL!!! I'd just hug you til you begged me to stop, Z

Z said-"Effective critical thinking will analyse situations with the intent of determining whether the situation will be beneficial or detrimental to one's happiness and ability to thrive - well, heck, I might as well say, ability to survive." ----------------------------------------------------------------------------

I don’t disagree with your reasoning. I’m not speaking of unconditional love as supporting wrong behaviours or actions .Like Still thinking pointed out- she did not approve the alcoholism of her partner and made a hard decision to not allow his alcoholism to determine the rest of her life. She still loved him and would continue to do so, but she chose to love herself first!!! She is an example of how her critical thinking helped her out of a bad situation while her ability to give unconditional love was active.---------------------------------------------------------------------------

Z said-"Unconditional love" can be manipulated by others into something that benefits THEM but is detrimental to the one giving out the "unconditional love"... -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

What you are speaking of is when one loves unconditionally and the other does not. Yes, Z, that can happen. There are selfish and manipulative people that do that. That is the reality of life. But can unconditional love exist in an imperfect world? My experience has been- Yes!!!

As far as co-dependency- I don’t consider the time I spent taking care of the most precious person in my life as anything but a positive experience. It caused me to grow as a person and to recognize what is important in life. It was actually the process that helped me to wake up from the WT world. There’s a big difference between real true love that I knew in comparison with the kind of love that the society speaks about but never puts into practice. When there is obligation without love, there is a marked difference. There's no real feeling of love attached to it. Only resentment . And then there is the love that is whole- hearted despite sadness and tears. I was Lucky that I had a mother that loved me. Although, imperfectly. We both grew up at the same time. And we realized what was important before it was too late.------------------------------

Still thinking and Free flying fareie- you have both expressed so eloquently my own feelings about the matter- better than I could.

00Dad- thanks!!! It was your post that got this started. I hope this discussion continues and evolves.

Edited- Bc quotes from Z were bold- ? is everything bold again?????)

ziddina

Itty-bitty facepalm here...

Ziddina: "I'd knock that fluffy-bunny-rainbow-unicorn stuff right outta you!!!" - Page #3, post #11072

"...Oh yeah Z- I’d like to see you try!!! That's the first and last time I've been described that way!!! Z, Was that your attempt to insult me? ..." Rip Van Winkle, page #4, post #303

[See? I can do "quotes"! Naner naner boo boo!! ]

Rip, try googling "fluffy-bunny-rainbow-unicorn"... Seriously. Do it right now.

The first time I heard that expression, it was used to refer to certain naivè novices who were just beginning to study Wicca, and would inevitably try to pick out the most innocuous form possible.

In other words, the "dark side" scared them.

But as for me - I LIKE the dark side!!!

rip van winkle

Caliber said-" I have also heard it said that in someones death the mourning you do is for your own loss.... the loss of them in your life

However this seems like a very morbid and unfulfilling attitude to me ..as if no actual love and caring is somehow felt for the deceased loved one."

Caliber-I delayed my mourning. The emotions are hard to describe. Yes, I think it is true. You grieve for their absence from your life. You grieve also for what they suffered in their life and what you suffered with them. You grieve for the loss of shared experiences. And for the person who knew the imperfect, true person you are inside, and loved you anyway. You miss them more than you could possibly imagine. I have had the loss of friends and acquaintances when I was young, and other relatives whom I loved and cherished during my life. This loss was a whole other dimension that words cannot express.------------------------------------------------------------

Mrs, Jones- you have perhaps unknowingly agreed with the idea of what it can be when you said :"I wish my parents had the kind of love for me that didn't come with unreasonable conditions."

Zid said- " The very issue of 'respect of an individual's thoughts, opinions, perspectives, behaviors and lifestyles' is inevitably raised as a result of the stultifying atmosphere of the Watchtower's micro-management of its followers".

You may be right about some POV's, as we are all on an apostate JW site. But, Z, opinions and differing perspectives usually comes down to our experiences in life and lessons we have learned. I would like to believe that the WT hasn't shaped my life or viewpoints in any way- but I know that it has to some extent. To say otherwise would be a lie. But, as I stated to you previously, when thinking about unconditional love, the idea of what it means to me, and wondering what it means to others, my initial thoughts had nothing to do with the WT.

I'm sorry about your loss of Minx, Z. I don't think that your action to put your beloved Minx to sleep was at all conditional. I think that when there was no longer any hope for Minx's survival, you unselfishly and lovingly allowed Minx to be put to sleep to end her suffering.

talesin

Take for example my sickly kitty, Minx, who I loved deeply. I gave her the best medical care that I could afford, fed her the best food - human baby food in addition to the highest quality cat food, pampered and cared for her in every way possible, to keep her alive as long as possible.
Ultimately my love for her HAD to change, when the REALITY of the CONDITION of her body intervened - and it finally began to fail. She had to be put to sleep.
My love for her, though absolute, HAD TO BE CONDITIONAL - as in, based upon the ever-changing conditions of life itself.

So, putting her down was not the loving thing to do? Ending her suffering?

oy! The word-play is not working in this example.

Absolute?

ab·so·lute /'abs??lo?ot/

Adjective:

Not qualified or diminished in any way; total: "absolute secrecy".

whoopsie! Sounds like 'unconditional' to me ...........

tal

talesin

And I invoke Cofty's Law -- pls refrain from diminishing our arguments by playing the JW card ... since you insist, though, it seems like you who has a problem with the expression because it is a JW one. By the way, 'worldly' people use that expression, too.

:)

talesin

fffaerie --- spot on!

t

Snoozy

Not putting restrictions on your love for someone..like loving someone no matter what they do or say.

Like loving a psycho..murderer..rapist..molestor..no matter what they did..You just love lthem to pieces..

In my mind it shouldn't exist..but alas it does.

Snoozy

RVW wrote:I have also heard it said that in someones death the mourning you do is for your own loss....the loss of them in your life

I disagree with that in my case..the major mourning I had for my hubby when he died was for all the things he would be missing out on, not for rme. He loved doing things in life and his life was cut short..

That's what I grieved mostly for..

Snoozy

biometrics

If you really love someone you won't talk to them when they're DF'd.

Retrovirus

Great topic and discussion.

I had always regarded my immediate family as better than myself. Even when my marriage broke up, and I was treated as though it was contagious rather than offered support. One sister, at least, tried to keep communications open.

A few years ago, our last parent died. My sisters created a stink over the will, saying that I had more than my share. Although the will specified an even split, it was true that I had recieved substantial support as a single parent. So I asked them what amount they could agree was fair, and sent that to them as soon as I recieved my share.

Since then my perception of them has changed. I felt that I'd lost my whole family at once.

We all had a difficult upbringing and I don't think I'm all that great either - but then, nor are they. If that's family - the put-downs, the alliances and infighting; I'm better off without it. Yet I still go to occaisional family events. I remember our shared childhood and still love them dearly, and would welcome them if they ever come to me, or need anything I can give.

Its love - but is it unconditional love? I. just. don't. know. . .

Retro

Unconditional Love-How would you describe it?

ab·so·lute /'abs??lo?ot/

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