by rip van winkle 239 Replies latest members private
This describes my meaning .... no, I don't expect you to agree, Zid - just perhaps, to understand the position.
In conditional love: love is 'earned' on the basis of conscious or unconscious conditions being met by the lover,
PS to calibre --- not all mothers have this love ... I for one, find the supposition that a mother's love is the purest to be a fallacy.
When you look into your mother’s eyes, you know that is the purest love you can find on this earth.”
unfortunately not all mothers are like that...they should be...but it's not reality.
Love is 'unconditional' when you expect nothing in return.
lol Still! simulpost!!
Once again, we are thinking the same.............
LOL...stop thinking my thoughts....
Thank you for your comments!!!
Farkel- come again? Oh. sorry, You said self-describing!!!!!!!!!! Yes! Succinctly said, Farkel!
Ziddinia- I understand what you are saying. When I asked myself the question, I was not thinking about the JW experience nor thru a Christian set of beliefs. It all was from the pain I felt as a child growing up in an abusive household and the experience of mistreatment. And from watching my mom die. I suppressed so much for so many years. I was always her rock. And all the love in my heart belonged to her. So much hurt in life, like many of you, but from a different source. That is why when I reread what I wrote, which came from my heart, I know that it is something hard to live up to. It is an ideal.It's applying the emotion of love into action. It's not perfect, but that is my expression of unconditional love. When I read 00Dad's comments- he applied the OP to his own pain and experience and what conditional love should not be and what it should. Z, I just want to ask you about your following statement: " I would not have "unconditional love" for ANYone or thing on the face of this planet. Nor would I expect someone else to have such "love" for me, as such "love" appears to be an epic FAIL when it comes to setting BOUNDARIES - and to respecting them." Have you ever hurt someone unintentionally? Did they still love you regardless of the pain or hurt? I would hope your answer is "Yes", but that may not have been anything you experienced in life. I just hope that you can have unconditional love for yourself. Z.
Sulla- Yes. You still love the person that you love and that doesn't mean that you agree with bad decisions and bad behavior. " People often confuse unconditional love with this idea of enabling. That is more nearly the opposite of love, since by your weakness, you would be harming the person you claim to love." I agree.
Talesin- Yes.That is the WTS way of love! " I will love you *if* you stay in the Truth TM , is a great example. Just complete the sentence "I will love you if ... " That is conditional love."
PS to calibre --- not all mothers have this love ... I for one, find the supposition that a mother's love is the purest to be a fallacy
If we have not known a mother's pure love it is very troubling and problematic indeed ..
Reminds me a sort of ironic joke .. The boss says ....Well Sam , we did more for you than your mother did ...we carried you for 10 months ! Hopely most mothers did more than carry us for 9 months
"When you look into your mother’s eyes, you know that is the purest love you can find on this earth.” ..." Caliber's quote of Mitch Albom, page 1
Hah! Caliber, there's a good probability that my biological incubator threw me out of a second-story window when I was an infant - couldn't PROVE it, but have long suspected it...
So, as Talesin - or was it Still thinking - said, a mother's "unconditional" love certainly isn't guaranteed. Some females lack the capacity to develop that biological bond with their child - which [said 'maternal' bond - aka "unconditional" love] is, by the way, based upon an evolutionary need for species to survive.
Even alligators love their babies.
However, the biological 'link' of maternal love goes horribly awry in some humans....
As well as in other species.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Infanticide_(zoology)
"Infanticide only came to be seen as a significant occurrence in nature quite recently. At the time it was first seriously treated by Yukimaru Sugiyama,[2] infanticide was attributed to stress causing factors like overcrowding and captivity, and was considered pathological and maladaptive. Classical ethology held that conspecifics (members of the same species) rarely killed each other.[3] By the 1980s it had gained much greater acceptance. Possible reasons it was not treated as a serious natural phenomenon include its abhorrence to people, the popular group and species selectionist notions of the time (the idea that individuals behave for the good of the group or species; compare with gene-centered view of evolution), and the fact that it is very difficult to observe in the field. ...
Humans and infanticide
Infanticide is a subject that some humans may find discomforting. Cornell University ethologist Glenn Hausfater states that "infanticide has not received much study because it's a repulsive subject [...] Many people regard it as reprehensible to even think about it." Research into infanticide in animals is in part motivated by the desire to understand human behaviors, such as child abuse. Hausfater explains that researchers are "trying to see if there's any connection between animal infanticide and child abuse, neglect and killing by humans [...] We just don't know yet what the connections are."[36]
Infanticide has been, and still is practiced by some human cultures, groups, or individuals. In many past societies, certain forms of infanticide were considered permissible, whereas in most modern societies the practice is considered immoral and criminal. It still takes place in the Western world usually because of the parent's mental illness or violent behavior, and in some poor countries as a form of population control, sometimes with tacit societal acceptance. Female infanticide, a form of sex-selective infanticide, is more common than the killing of male offspring."
@ Still - NO,,, you stop thinking MY thoughts!
If we have not known a mother's pure love it is very troubling and problematic indeed .. 
Yes, it does **** one up ... most people take it for granted, unfortunately.
Zid
And some mothers love one child, and not another ................
rvw
It all was from the pain I felt as a child growing up in an abusive household and the experience of mistreatment. And from watching my mom die. I suppressed so much for so many years. I was always her rock. And all the love in my heart belonged to her
My mother is dying. I choose to show her love (or is it pity?) for an old, suffering woman, who NOW realizes she never gave her daughter unconditional love. It's too late for me to love her the way she wants .... after 50+ years of neglect and abuse. It was a difficult choice to make, but I could only begin to 'go there' after I learned, as you say, to love myself. Recently. :)
