Thanks to all for the feedback. Great comments here.
WMF: All this and more by Carl Sagan here
Son of Jor-el! A poster after my own heart. I was pushing that Demon-Haunted World link like a dub pushes the WT & AW! Now if someone will just post a QualiSoup or TheraminTrees video on open-mindedness or the trouble with anecdotes, this thread will attain immortality.
OWTO, as a kid I had Smurf toys that were given to me by a weak JW aunt and I'd watch the cartoon on rainy Saturday mornings (if we had the joy of missing field service). I was a fan before we heard the urban legend. After that, though, they were packed into a box and put away. Even though my dad was fairly rational about it (he didn't burn 'em), all I could think about was that damn belligerent smurf running down the Kingdom Hall aisle.
Cedars: you weren't wearing a yellow helmet when you had this dream, by any chance??!
No sir. Yellow is so 2011. I only sleep in blue helmets now. Can't be too safe.
Joey: What I experienced is not considered sleep paralyses. I did not se furniture spinning but I did see it moving, heard voices, a dog starting singing classical music etc.
I've seen moving furniture before.... recliners and swivel chairs, specifically. They are engineering marvels. As for voices, I can hear two of them across the hall right now. You may say that's to be expected in a place of business but I shut my door and I still hear them. How do you explain that? Eerie.
As for the dog singing classical, how was the quality? My agent fees are low and I could get him an audition for America's Got Talent.
WBF: Wow man, that is some crazy stuff ... what you smokin' man ... got any more?
Pshhh, I'm high on life. "School is cool, pot is not" I always say. Kidding. I wish I was smokin something.
Clarinetist: Unless you're moving... Then they're great to have around.
Wow, no kidding! Ever move a piano? I needed a little help with one recently. Slid a Ouija Board under it... nothin. Lazy swine-infesting bastards are never around when you need em.
NC, I almost referenced your experience with sleep paralysis in the OP but I knew you'd come through! Thanks to all for relating their experiences with it. What a wild condition.