Unfortunately, the people (JWs) you want to use to alleviate your "mistake", won't help you unless you resort to trickery, by pretending to get reinstated.
As usual, Moshe has it absolutely right. If you are not true to yourself, then not only will your child eventually come to find that out and judge you for it maybe years down the line, but you will find that it will come back to you in one way or another.
Living a lie never, ever, ever pays off.
Bravely facing up to the truth and "running with it", (a nod to the Olympic theme) will always stand you in good stead in life. A clean cut may hurt a lot, but it is a healthy cut, and will heal well, unlike a cautious picking away.
I do detect a few negative comments directed toward my decision to try for reinstatement. It is important to place yourself into the shoes of the person who has to make and live with the decisions before passing judgment. I am at a point in my life when I need as many people to depend on as possible.
Emilie, try not to view the comments that seem to be critical as negative. Remember, they are made by people who have been there before you. Many on this board are not just talking the talk. They are walking the walk. They have been there before you, in one way or another.
Face the wind and live it down. It's the best way for you, your child, and actually for your family in the long run. I do not think that your mother will deny herself for ever contact with her grandchild, and if she does, then she will have made the choice. You can do it on your own.
I think I shall PM you.
George...I LOVE the video! Really hilarious!