Question for the men (page 10)

elderelite

And women who are willing to keepxthemselves in the comfortable home he provides while feelimg they are obligated to nothing more than lay in bed and watch tv shouldnt feel betrayed when ge seeks what he has begged for elsewhere

Women crying about betrayal do well to examine wha they think their obligations are... Cause taking the life HE provides while giving NOTHING in return is the text book definition of a parasite not a "wife"

A 30 min wedding/talk and a few words exchanged in grot a holy man dont make that right. Marrige is an everyday commitment. Its usually not one person at fault, its a long time of both not makin work in one way or another. Bash men all you want, but there are just as many harpies who drive men away as there are asshole guys who leave them

mrsjones5

Sore spot hit perhaps?

Broken Promises

((((EE)))))

You are taking this far too personally. Not all women are like your wife, just as not all men are cheating bastards.

Step away from this thread/db for a little while, take a walk or get a cup of coffee, and think about more pleasant things. This thread is obviously bringing up negative emotions for you.

With (chaste) love, BP.

TheSilence

In this day and age assuming that the man provides the home and comfort, etc., is quite a leap. I'm not absolving women of their part in the marriage and I would take the same stance if we were discussing a woman cheating on her husband. If you made a vow to be faithful and that is the deal then you live to that vow or you leave. You can blame it on her or on him all you want... but once you make a choice to be unfaithful that is *your* choice and *you* own it. If a wife isn't providing what you need in marriage then you leave and find someone who does. Playing on the side is the coward's way out.

TheSilence

Coward is a harsh word, and for that I apologize. We all make mistakes. I hold to the rest of my stance.

Robdar

Elder:

Always glad to see the feminist "girls can do no wrong" contingent out and vocal as ever..

Yea, cause guys would rather go out, spend money at a bar to take a chance on getting laid rather than stay at home curled up with their wife after passionate love making..

Cause the wife is sooooooo loving and kind and willimg to make it work that he just had to leave and go to a bar looking for a random hook up.

Makes sense

That isn't at all what we are saying but I could see how you could misjudge our comments based on your post that dumps most of the blame on the wife. BTW, it was because of your post that I made my first one in this thread.

It works both ways. Maybe you should take a break. You seem a little frazzled.

TheSilence

And women who are willing to keepxthemselves in the comfortable home he provides while feelimg they are obligated to nothing more than lay in bed and watch tv shouldnt feel upset when ge beats them

Women crying about physical abuse do well to examine wha they think their obligations are... Cause taking the life HE provides while giving NOTHING in return is the text book definition of a parasite not a "wife"

In changing a few of your words please understand that I am not trying to compare infidelity with physical abuse... what I am trying to point out is that blaming your choices and actions on the poor choices and actions your partner makes does not absolve anyone of the responsibility they still have for their own choices and actions. Someone who chooses to physically abuse his or her spouse is responsible for that choice despite what s/he feels his or her spouse did to deserve it. They chose the action to abuse and they own the responsibility for it. I feel the same way about infidelity. Someone who choose to cheat is responsible for that choice despite what s/he feels his or her spouse did to deserve it. It is still a choice that was made by the one who cheated. There were other options: keep trying to make it work, accept the situation as it is, or walk away. I'm sure there are other options as well.

This is not an either/or situation. It is not either my spouse provides this or I cheat. There are other options and the choice not to pursue those options rests on the person who chooses to cheat. I'm sorry if that upsets or offends you, but, and I could be very wrong, I strongly suspect that the reason it upsets or offends you is that some part of you agrees with me but does not want to.

I read another post of yours about your choice to stay in the religion and I have more respect for your stance there than you can possibly imagine. I hope you do not feel any of my post is a personal attack on you, it is not meant to be. But these are my opinions on this particular matter and I felt a need to share them. Whatever your situation I wish you the best.

Jackie

AGuest

Yikes! I certainly didn't mean to offend or strike a chord with anyone in particular, dear EE (the greatest of love and peace to you!). I think what some of us are saying is that the blame doesn't lie OUTSIDE the marriage... with the "other" woman OR man. In the same vein, however, everyone is responsible for their own actions: whether you are the "cheating" husband OR wife (GOOD for you, dear Miz Josie... and peace to you, dear one, for OWNING your own conduct!!).

While there may be all kinds of reasons for "cheating", I dare say any are VALID. Hence, the term "cheating." Okay, so some choose to stay in loveless marriages "for the kids." That's cool... and honorable. IF, however, one is "cheating" while doing so... well, where is the honor in that? Isn't one also "cheating" one's kids... you know, 'cause while they may know that not everything is hunky-dorrie, they don't know that someone is "cheating."

If, however, the other spouse (and maybe even the kids)... KNOW... then it's not "cheating", is it? But if he/she DOESN'T... regardless of the REASON... it's "cheating." And when is cheating ever a GOOD thing?? How CAN it be... when it's foundation is deceit?

So, I would have to with dear Silence (peace to you, too!) here:

If you made a vow to be faithful and that is the deal then you live to that vow or you leave. You can blame it on her or on him all you want... but once you make a choice to be unfaithful that is *your* choice and *you* own it.

Surely, you can see the "truth" in that?

Again, peace to you... and, I, too, am truly sorry if "we" hit too close to home. Surely, no one here was going there with you...

YOUR servant and a slave of Christ,

SA

PSacramento

SafeatHome, do you love him?

elderelite

Sore spot hit perhaps?

sigh... clearly. sorry all

((((EE)))))

You are taking this far too personally. Not all women are like your wife, just as not all men are cheating bastards.

Step away from this thread/db for a little while, take a walk or get a cup of coffee, and think about more pleasant things. This thread is obviously bringing up negative emotions for you.

sorry bp... it wasn't directed at you at all, or anyone in particular for that matter. i didnt realize how hard I was taking it until i saw my knuckles turning white and realized i was talking to myself under my breath...... your advise taken. EE walking away...

Sorry SAH

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