Yikes! I certainly didn't mean to offend or strike a chord with anyone in particular, dear EE (the greatest of love and peace to you!). I think what some of us are saying is that the blame doesn't lie OUTSIDE the marriage... with the "other" woman OR man. In the same vein, however, everyone is responsible for their own actions: whether you are the "cheating" husband OR wife (GOOD for you, dear Miz Josie... and peace to you, dear one, for OWNING your own conduct!!).
While there may be all kinds of reasons for "cheating", I dare say any are VALID. Hence, the term "cheating." Okay, so some choose to stay in loveless marriages "for the kids." That's cool... and honorable. IF, however, one is "cheating" while doing so... well, where is the honor in that? Isn't one also "cheating" one's kids... you know, 'cause while they may know that not everything is hunky-dorrie, they don't know that someone is "cheating."
If, however, the other spouse (and maybe even the kids)... KNOW... then it's not "cheating", is it? But if he/she DOESN'T... regardless of the REASON... it's "cheating." And when is cheating ever a GOOD thing?? How CAN it be... when it's foundation is deceit?
So, I would have to with dear Silence (peace to you, too!) here:
If you made a vow to be faithful and that is the deal then you live to that vow or you leave. You can blame it on her or on him all you want... but once you make a choice to be unfaithful that is *your* choice and *you* own it.
Surely, you can see the "truth" in that?
Again, peace to you... and, I, too, am truly sorry if "we" hit too close to home. Surely, no one here was going there with you...
YOUR servant and a slave of Christ,