Concerned JW--it would do you good to research cognitive dissonance. When you hold an opinion, and a mountain of evidence is offered to refute that opinion, people often dismiss the evidence not the opinion. It is hard to be honest with ourselves. We will isolate ourselves from the dissenting evidence and surround ourselves only with people that hold that same opinion and likewise dismiss evidence. This all results in a self-supporting bubble. You never consider anything outside that bubble.
I could show you ABSOLUTE UNQUESTIONABLE PROOF, rock solid, a video of the GB laughing at the ignorance of the rank and file, and it would make absolutely NO IMPACT on your opinion. Debate is futile. You need to study this phenomena and get a handle on it.
This is not hurting US, it is hurting YOU. The least you can do for yourself is take a look. Most of us here have suffered from such a split in our brain--we got over it. Give yourself a chance at happiness and openness. Honestly, none of us even knew how miserable we were until we left. You have no idea how that kind of brain suppression is suppressing your very person.
We are here if you want support in this journey. We encourage it. But if you just want to put the brain shackles back on US, then we pity you. We pity you because we know you are missing so very much, and you don't even know it. Remember, I was just like you once. I had no idea what a great life was waiting for me.