by brotherdan 303 Replies latest jw friends
Question: Why don't the Elders wait until your wife is better, that way they can ask the both of you about your past behaviors ?
It's only fair. She did things that were very unchristian, from what you told us. Why should you be the only one punished.
did she tell her dad the things she had done ?
I have to say that I'm really disappointed in some of the harsh responses to him.
I'm afraid in Daniel's case, the time for hand holding is over- it's time for action now. There is a saying- "kind words are not true and true words are not kind". I am sorry to be blunt sometimes, but truth demands an open accounting of all options/ideas, even the ones that seem harsh.
Dude I like you a lot and many of your posts are well thought out.
That said....... Get a grip on yourself. You are not responsible for your wife's health issues. You are responsible for yourself. Don't wallow in self pity or allow yourself to be consumed by anger. At the end of the day you have to be able to live with yourself and the choices you made. You can put yourself in the drivers seat if you want. Look at your upcoming JC as an opportunity. If the people in your life put the nutbag religion ahead of their relationship with you, do you really want them close to you anyways?
Go for a walk, think about what you want your life to look like in 5 years and then make it happen.
SIAM
" There is a saying- "kind words are not true and true words are not kind".
You tell it Moshe
from my own experience taking away their power and refusing to comply with a JC was very empowering. From tapes I have heard from JCs it is unlikely they will allow you to say all you would like or listen when you say it. You may find it more frustrating than healing. Telling them you have no wish to speak to them and listening to the shock on the other end of the phone was priceless. This is what shunning feels like.
People are people and no one can entirely predict how things will turn out. try talking to members of your family before anything official happens and see.
I just hope he's okay. He's got better things to do than listen to bozos on here anyway. Hope you're hanging in there.
Sorry to hear about your situation Daniel.
Every person here has things they fear and are overwhelmed by. Unplanned life-altering change is usually one of them.
- Lime
Will Dan get his Life together?..
Will Dan`s wife Rat him Out in a JC meeting..If she lives?.
Will Jehovah ever invite Dan over for Dinner?..
Enjoy the entire "Drama Queen Dan" series..
Only on JWN..
............................
...OUTLAW
Daniel, I'm not good in the solace department but my heart goes to you.
I would strongly suggest one of two things:
Don't go to the Judicial Committee at all unless you're prepared to do the following
Before I recommend what you should do let me say that I realize you have your speech all made up in your head. Don't bother. I suggest the following if you want to vent your frustrations. Take a good friend that is not involved in the JWs for your protection, as well as an audio recorder, and...
Before a single elder even opens his mouth, address them by screaming at the top of your lungs and saying something like "You are the apostates!!! You..." You should startle them with the unexpected and more importantly take control of the situation by pre-empting them.
Then, even though your wife is the most important thing in your life don't bring it up until the end of your screaming speech. Frankly they don't give a damn and will simply blame you for the situation. Instead start with a litany of the crimes, against their members, that the organization has commited. Use only the ones that their doctrinally brainwashed minds cannot rationalize, even though they try.
You need to take the moral high ground and hit them fast and strong with moralistic outrage loud enough to either shock them into silence or at least drown out their voices. My suggestion, and I know it's one of my pet peeves, is to start with their disfellowshipping of teenage girls for revealing their molesters to the police. Then keep yelling on and on about all the abominantions that they commit on behalf of the Organization.
By doing this, you will be venting your frustrations and actually feel somewhat less stressed afterwards.
Whatever they do, don't let them take control of the situation by even addressing themselves to you. And absolutely do not even think of a back and forth exchange no matter how confident you feel about how you will respond to them. It simply will not affect them; you won't win that way. Only by shocking the bejesus out of them with a sudden and unexpected outburst of great strength can you impress them.
Whatever you do I wish you luck.
Villabolo
Yes, Outlaw, you've made your point.....
