I've been outed...

by brotherdan 303 Replies latest jw friends

  • beksbks
    beksbks

    Oh Dan! I'm sittting here with tears in my eyes. You just have to keep putting one foot in front of the other, and know that this will pass. Whatever the future holds for you, you can get through it and with strength and determination, you can be happy again.

  • sd-7
    sd-7

    Maybe it feels like you don't have God with you. I get that feeling. Can't say if that's true or not. But you've got us. Jacked up as we are, we're here. Let it all out, Daniel. Maybe it'll help you to cope a little better.

  • brotherdan
    brotherdan

    I will never be able to get myself together.

    You guys don't realize how in love I am with my wife. She is my everything. And this religion shat all over it. She saved me from myself. And I almost killed her. That's what I do. I hurt. I help people self destruct.

  • brotherdan
    brotherdan

    Thanks guys. I am SOOOOO sorry for how judgemental I have been to all of you over the last months. What a bitch I've been. I hope I haven't hurt any of you in a real way.

  • VIII
    VIII

    Sorry for you Dan. I am more sorry for your wife. I hope she recovers. You will, her prognosis is not assured. Hugs to you both.

  • brotherdan
    brotherdan

    I just called her at the hospital to try and apologize and she hung up on me. I never knew this sort of pain existed.

  • zoiks
    zoiks

    Dan,

    Please do not give up. Allow yourself some time. Is your wife still in the hospital? Does your son have a safe place to stay?

    You didn't almost kill her. A lifetime of extreme indoctrination can cause unbelievable stress on someone's mind and body. Don't blame yourself. Do what you need to do to stay safe and sane and to be there for your son. Please. I'm pulling for you, Dan.

  • BluesBrother
    BluesBrother

    Brotherdan, I am sorry to read of your problems...and for what it is worth , my sorrow to your wife as well.

    I have had some experience of epilepsy in my family and observed grand mal siezures. They are horrible. However, the reasons for them can be unknown . Ideopathic being the word. I am not saying that personal stress could not be a factor, but then again anything else could have caused it and the reason may have never been known.

    "Stress" seems to be a convenient peg to hang the label on, and your present situation is even more convenient for those who wish to find a reason for your wife's sudden illness.I trust that she will get meds and carry on ok., like the millions of epileptics. Is there any family history of the illness? It can be hereditary

    As for the congregation....It is a pity that her father has been involved and taken such a line...If the elders were to chase me at a time like that I would stall them for a bit, not say anything but say that you cannot consider talking about such things at a time when you have such a sudden illness in the family.

    I do not understand how they can support a wife telling her husband to leave...everything in the WT lit says that marriages should be kept together, not broken apart....But I am very sorry to hear this...Pleas keep us up to date..

  • tec
    tec
    I will never be able to get myself together.

    Yes you will. You only think you won't because you're feeling so raw right now, and so full of guilt. Marriage is a two way street. She has failed you, and also her vows that had her promising 'in good times and bad'.

    You will feel good again; even happy. You have no idea the good things that can come your way in the rest of your life. You just can't see that yet (or hear it even), and that's okay. But it needs to be said.

    Tammy

  • sd-7
    sd-7

    Finding out that you were in a cult is an emotional cataclysm. An apocalypse. A maelstrom. It is inevitable that your family would be impacted by this, but it is not your fault. Managing a situation like that takes enormous strength and to pretend it's not there is far more than most sane people can bear. There are just some things we can't control, and in the face of learning about the Society's evils, how could anyone keep quiet?

    You have to understand that they will always make you into the bad guy. Don't let them blame you for this. It's not your fault. You love your wife, probably you're a heck of a lot better a husband than I'll ever be. It's an injustice that results from finding out what we were never supposed to know, all of this. There's often a high price for that.

    Today the storm rages, but you must stay afloat. Today. Just stay afloat, man. That's all that anyone in your shoes could do.

    -sd-7

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