Progress ( I think? ) in helping my wife to see the "truth" (page 6)

flipper

Hey STUCK - Howdy bro. I know how your wife is feeling. I was a born-in, left the Witnesses after 44 years from birth. Basically due to injustices, then afterwards I began seeing clearly about the WT society's deceptive teachings. I'll try to address the questions you asked in one of your posts on this page.

1. How did you cope after you learned that the " truth " was a lie ?

I basically began reading a lot of books about mind control by Steve Hassan - " Releasing the Bonds- Empowering People to Think for Themselves " & " Combatting Cult Mind Control " and also read both of Ray Franz's books " Crisis of Conscience " & " In Search of Christian Freedom " . All of these books enabled me to learn how to not be afraid of the future. Especially Hassan's books. I lost my unneeded " fear " & "guilt" which kept me hostage in the Witnesses. Reading books explaining this gave me great peace and calm knowing I didn't have to blame myself anymore. I had been deceived like millions of other people.

2. What did you do the first month ? The first year ? The first ten years ?

I basically began LIVING my life ! In freedom of mind and thought. I still loved my JW family and my adult children, however I lost the fears that were trapping me inside. I went shopping at antique stores. Went golfing more. Went camping or hiking. Enjoyed my leisure Saturday & Sunday mornings to sleep in and rest my physical body . I developed hobbies like colecting music CD's , collecting antique art ( mountain sceneries ), just lived my life to the full in getting to know people- REAL people not fake people. I got to know new friends who really cared about me .

3. What did you do to give your life meaning ? Or fill the void that was left ? Once I learned about mind control I joined thid board in 2007 and have enjoyed assisting people to think freely for themselves and to move on from mind control. It brings me great satisfaction living in the here and now to see people on this board and elsewhere breaking free from the JW cult and learning to think on their own again. I've made lots of great friends and my life has a fullfilment I never had in the Witnesses by just enjoying the present- here and now ! It's what we've got- so make the best use of it ! The great Revelation to me is enjoying the present and living life to the full now. So, that's my 2 cents

stuckinamovement

A Brief update… As I have mentioned in the past there have been some glimmers of hope in reaching my wife with the “truth”. This last week was a major breakthrough with news of the society using the farm as a toxic dump http://www.therepublic.com/view/story/8e675d204fbf4352ab2cf65086b4b411/NY--Buried-Chemicals/ and the whistleblower letter at Marvin Shilmers Site- http://marvinshilmer.blogspot.com/2011/12/whistleblower-watchtowers-dump.html

My wife knew that there was corruption within the organization but had always seemed to think that it was isolated. This was the straw that broke the camels back. She is done with the organization just as I am. I know several from this Board and others who are known as “apostates”. She is aware that I speak with them and many times I will tell her “ I had an interesting talk with so and so today, and they mentioned…” It is heartening to be able to tell her “we are not the only ones who see this”

We are now openly talking about leaving together. She is still hesitant to do so because of the cost of friends and family. So in the next few weeks we will put together a fading plan that will allow us to stop pretending that we support this cancer of an organization and living a lie. Don’t get me wrong. We are still going to live a moral life and teach our kids the best we can, but we cannot continue as if nothing is wrong.

If you have a mate that doesn’t yet see what you see in the Watchtower please be patient. This effort to wake up my wife has taken two agonizing years. At times I thought that it would never work. If someone is intellectually honest and wants to do the right thing they will see the Watchtower for what it is and leave. It just might take a while. If you are an Elder, show her your Shepherding book. Subscribe to google alerts about JW news. Point out the rising partakers, the closure of branches, and the fact that the GB is directing worship to themselves. It will work.

SIAM

leavingwt

SIAM: Wonderful news.

breakfast of champions

I can only hope to be as successful as you have been thus far in trying to reason with my wife. I'm hoping the zaniness of the society will increase with memorial partakers as we edge ever closer to 2014, which I feel for many will be a psychologically important date.

Good luck in your new life!

cofty

I am so happy to hear about this, you must be elated. Please send her our best wishes for a succcessful fade. It will be tough but you have got each other.

stuckinamovement

Bump.........

For Kensho and techguy....give it time. Time is what it takes to awaken a loved one. Time and mountains of patience. After three years my wife is now mentally out. She is now looking at JWN here and there and is a even a quiet supporter of AWWA. Tonight was a meeting night, and we are instead of being told lies, sitting on the couch watching a movie drinking a good bottle of Cabernet. We still attend here and there to keep some social connections though.

There were times when I thought we were through. Times where I even thought about suicide. After three years of expressing myself both subtley and passionately, she recently told me that she always believed me about the org being a fraud but wished that I was wrong. We are reaching out in the community to help organizations in need. We are teaching our children to be less dogmatic and tolerant. They are young so that is a plus. We even have a secret hand signal for the meetings and assembly's to tell each other that what is being said at that moment is nutso.

Again, just give it time. Show your wives the elders book if you have it still. Look for the pre cult personality that lies within(even if she is a born in it is there). Just be paitent and always give her unconditional love. It is a ride. Always remember that you can't help someone unlearn a lifetime of false teaching in a very short time. I don't think it would be healthy if they did just immediately abandon everything that they held dear for a lifetime in a short time period.

Paitence, love, persistence, success

Siam

baltar447

Great to hear!

C.O.B.E.Beef

Well done SIAM. Your posts have meant alot to me.

smiddy

SIAM

That was a great success story , well done .You both can LIVE your life as you were meant to without being controlled by a third party and feeling guilty for not measuring up to their standards or not doing enough .(for the organization )

smiddy

SIAM

This may be of interest to you and particulary your wife ,.JW`s make a big deal about how ONLY JW`s make Gods name known in all the earth ! ?

For one thing what they fail to remember , it was a dominican monk (Roman Catholic ) in the 13th century who first coined that name adding a couple of vowels to the tetragrammaton .

Interestingly also if you google U-tube and type in the song "Jehovah is He" you will come up with a multitude of christian religions from all over the world who sing in worship about Jehovah , and some are quite catchy ,putting lie to the beleif that only JW`s use this name.

A few years ago I went to a workmates funeral which was held in a Uniting Church and one of the songs was titled "Hope in Jehovah"

so much for them having a monopoly on that name .

smiddy

Progress ( I think? ) in helping my wife to see the "truth"

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