Progress ( I think? ) in helping my wife to see the "truth" (page 2)

miseryloveselders

SIAM, I'm about to clock out so I can't type much, but I think progress has been made. Hope the best for you and your wife. Hang in there bruh.

stuckinamovement

Thanks for the thoughts and well wishes.

@ Ding, I know it makes no sense, but Witnesses are taught that they can't understand the Bible without the help of the publications. Just stupid how the org has placed itself on equal footing with the Bible. It is hard to let the scriptures speak to you when you are told you can't understand it.

@ Brother Dan, thanks for the idea about the Mormon comparison. I think she is smart enough to directly see the connection and get scared off, I will keep it in reserve for a time that seems right.

@Sweet baby Cheezits, I appreciate the offer to have our wives talk. Mrs. SIAM needs to get a little further along before that happens. This has to be her process if it is going to stick. I will PM you when it seems like a good time. BTW you and your wife's exit out of the cult was an epic success!

@wanna exit, great advice and thanks for the encouragement. It is nice to see successful examples.

@misery, I think your gravatar is hilarious. Is it DJ Adolf scratching tracks?

One other thing that I forgot to mention....She commented a couple of weeks ago that "maybe mankind is in another dark ages and the truth doesn't exist yet" Good stuff that gives me hope.

SIAM

pirata

stuckinamovement, "In Search of Christian Freedom" makes some convincing arguments about how Christianity is meant to be an experience that does not have to be tied to any denomination. You may get some good reasoning ideas from that book.

willyloman

Good news. This parallels my own wife's path of discovery and before long she was all the way out. To leave the dubs, the first step is to question the organization's connection to God. Once that's breached, it's just a matter of time.

Lozhasleft

SIAM - this is great news and well done to you. Lets hope she will read CofC not too long in the future. That's what did it for me.

Loz x

stuckinamovement

An update.

The CNN article on Harold Camping and his crazy calculations and warning work created a ton of dissonance in my wife this weekend and actually was productive. I read her the article showed her his methods of calculations for this date and asked, Sweetheart, what makes us any different from this nutjob? She responded angrily "I don't know". I scrolled through the slide show of the failed doomsday prophets and stopped at #10- The witnesses with 1975. Silence........

She went into the other room and was quiet for a while. After about 15 minutes I went in after her and sat down. She said, "I hope you know that you ruined my life. I was happy believing what we have been taught. Everything had an answer and made sense, until you put doubts in my head. Now I am not sure what to believe. The organization has changed, and some of the teachings are not right. There definitely seems to be a power trip going on and the Governing body has put themselves in the place of Jesus."

"What are we supposed to do? If this isn't the truth, who has it?" "How can God just let 7 million people be misled like this?" "Now I just feel like a hypocrite every time we go to the meeting or service." How am I supposed to live with myself this way?"

I let her vent for a while and assured her of my love. She told me that she loved me and was glad that I was there for her. We sat for a while in silence holding hands. I asked if she wanted me to leave and she said no. We went to the meeting and sat through it. You could tell that she was bothered by the fact that the speaker thanked Jehovah for the Governing Body at the end of the meeting.

Later that day, there was the article on abcnews that talked about the evangelical preacher who wrote the book refuting hell fire. We were sitting on the couch and I read that article to her. She was amazed that there was someone other than the Witnesses teaching that hell is the common grave. It made an impression on her that Witnesses don't have a monopoly on teachings like that.

This was a big deal. She knows that it is not the truth and that we are absolutely stuck in a movement.

SIAM

brotherdan

Watch out. They will turn on you in a second. You are not their priority. They love the org first, THEN you. It's a fucked up thing.

tec

Great progress, SIAM! There are a couple of denominations that don't teach the trinity as well; I'll have to look them up. I found that I couldn't go anywhere because there was always something that bothered me about the teachings or doctrines. I realized that I could only go to Christ, and after I found this site, I realized there were others who did the same thing. Just something to keep in mind for the long term.

Tammy

stuckinamovement

An update, Whooohooo sucess is sweet!

Both my wife and I are still active but beginning our fade together slowly. My wife has gotten to the point where she is so disgusted with the organization she just has to say something. So she is helping me write a letter to the Branch exposing the lies we have been taught. We both know it will go into the trash can at headquarters but it is largely symbolic. I can't describe how good it feels to sit on the couch with the love of my life and work on this letter together. She will add points and then I will add points. this goes on back and forth for a couple of hours at times. The fact that she is writing these things down tells me that she sees the org for what it is.

I have told her point blank that I have mentally left the "truth" because it is a construct and fabrication of a bunch of men who twist the scriptures with the intent to control people. We are missing more meetings and are starting to get comfortable with the idea of leaving. I even told her that I might get DF'ed for this letter. She responded that if I do get dfed it just shows how evil and retaliatory the organization is. I openly call myself an apostate now and she doesn't blink an eye.

I had made up my mind to be honest with her about what I have learned. it is tough at first to accept that you were born and raised in an organization that is a cult. Once you accept it it is easier to move on. Good luck to all of you out there in the same situation.

Here are some keys that worked for me

1. read the bible together

2. Pray openly for God to step in and clean his corrupted organization.

3. Be sincere in your questioning...Eg. If God is directing the GB why would he direct them wrong about the generation or blood or organ transplants or the superior authorities etc.?

SIAM

jgnat

Congratulations! Continue to do what you are doing. I am going to make a suggestion, but feel free to ignore it. I've made the mistake with my JW husband, assuming that disillusionment with the WTBTS means oppenness to Christendom.

Your wife's comment months ago that "unless we are able to serve God in an active way that our lives are pointless" reminded me of the many various ways regular Christians can serve. You can volunteer at a soup kitchen where you live. Or you can take on a short term mission. No life-time contract, no continued obligation.

But like I say, feel free to ignore this. It may be too much too soon.

I like that you two are working as a team. Let her know how much a team you are, supporting each other.

Progress ( I think? ) in helping my wife to see the "truth"

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