Progress ( I think? ) in helping my wife to see the "truth"

by stuckinamovement 93 Replies latest members private

  • stuckinamovement

    As some of you know I have been pretty open with my wife about why I resigned as an elder and the doubts that I have. To her credit she has not shut me out or spoken to the elders yet. She has commented in the past that she sees things within the organization that don't seem to have God's stamp of approval.

    Several nights ago we had a really intense conversation. She told me that she is angry at Jehovah for allowing his people to be mislead by men who claim to be spirit directed. She said "how can God leave 7 million righteous people on their own?? She also said that she felt numb inside.

    She expressed disappointment in the overall spiritual direction that we as a couple are going and is convinced that unless we are able to serve God in an active way that our lives are pointless. She openly wondered if I was being used by Satan to destroy her faith. I countered that all I am doing is comparing the doctrines and practices of the org with the scriptures. If Satan use the scriptures to cause questions then we are all screwed. She strongly feels that God will make another way of worship apparent to replace the corrupted Organization.

    I will be honest, it is terrifying to see how mind controlled a Witness can be and the mental turmoil that they go through when they begin to realize that what they believe is a lie. Witnesses are taught not to trust their own hearts and minds when it comes to questions about their faith. It seems as if as Witnesses we are wired with a self destruct mechanism in our minds. We become so reliant on the organization to think for us, and to give us direction it becomes almost unbearable to imagine ourselves without it. When you are repeatedly told from birth that you can't trust your own heart and mind it becomes almost impossible to ever do so because you second guess yourself every step of the way. That's where my wife is right now. Anything that is not congruent with her current beliefs is viewed with skepticism. How is it possible, that this organization can get so many people to believe in a concept that has no proof, or scriptural, historical or scientific merit and yet when the person is confronted with a conflicting idea actually based on science, history, or the scriptures they default to what they have been taught. It is crazy how mind controlling this religion is. The sad thing is if you are able to break free that you are psychologically and socially damaged.

    I told her about having a conversation with a nice Mormon guy that we both know, and how he has the same bible based morals as we do and preaches what he believes to be the truth. He sincerely believes that what he has with the Mormon faith is the truth even though other people look at his belief system and think it is nuts. I asked her, what makes us any different? She responded that what makes us special as an organization is that you could go to any Witness's house and feel safe and secure with your brother or sister. I asked her if she would feel safe in Brother Child Molesters house? Silence... I told her that I do not feel that an organization that claims to be directed by God could be repeatedly wrong in its predictions. She was quiet......

    Through all of this we have drawn closer as a couple. We read the bible every night and have been praying for God's direction and wisdom. I can tell that she is at a crossroads and will make a decision one way or another pretty soon.

    The fact that she is angry at God tells me she sees the truth about the truth. Best wishes to all others out there in the same situation.


  • brotherdan

    Don't be worried! She is on the right track! If my wife said some of those things, I'd be so excited!

    I think now is the time to take a step back and support her. You don't have to do any convincing right now. Just be a "spiritual head" in the way that you encourage each other to stay close to God. Focus on THAT instead of the society.

    You are doing this in a way that I wish I had. I feel like I took care of myself first and THEN worried about my wife. But you are doing awesome.

  • Reopened Mind
    Reopened Mind

    SIAM my heart goes out to you and your wife. It sounds like you are making progress.

    Reopened Mind

  • Mickey mouse
    Mickey mouse

    This is good.

    It sounds similar to the things my husband said when he was waking up.

  • brotherdan

    If you think now is the time, you can ask her this question:

    Imagine a very faithful Mormon woman. She has been raised a Mormon. She dedicated her life to God and has served in the Mormon church for many many years. But eventually she began to learn about the history of the church. She learned about Joseph Smith and eventually came to the decision that he was a...false prophet.

    So she suffered for a while, still going to church and supporting her husband and kids in their beliefs. But eventually she got to the point where her conscience was constantly bothering her.

    What should she do? Should she forget about the knowledge that she has that Joseph Smith was a false prophet? Should she ignore the fact that the book of Mormon is directly contrary to the Bible? Should she go to more church meetings to get stronger and not think about the past?

    What if she finally came to the conclusion that Mormons cannot be the true religion? What should she do? Should she let her children go on accepting that this is the "truth"? Should she be afraid of what her family will say about her leaving? Should she make her husband believe that she still believes it?

    Or should she stay true to her own conscience? Should she follow what she knows to be the right course? Should she realize that she dedicated herself to GOD and not men?

    When you take the example away from JWs and apply it to another like-religion like Mormons, then maybe your wife can see that there is no difference. She sees that this organization is not what it claims to be. Yes, there are the same talks given earthwide. Do you know who else has the same schedule like this? 7th day adventists. You can go to Europe and stay with a 7th day adventist and know that he is your brother and had the EXACT same meeting that his American Adventist brother had. This is NOTHING unique to JWs. Mormons are MUCH the same. My boss goes and stays with Mormons outside of the country ALL THE TIME!

    But the Society wants you to think that this is a unique thing. It is not! Neither is preaching Jesus and His kingdom around the earth. In fact there are others that are doing a far more effective work. And they are feeding the poor and helping the sick WHILE they are preaching Jesus.

    I'm not sure if you think any of this will help. But she seems to be on the right path.

  • Ding


    Your wife is angry with God for allowing so many to be misled, but she won't question the beliefs of the men who misled them!

    How else can a person escape the errors?

    I would recommend that you and your wife study the Bible itself without WT spin especially NT doctrinal books like Romans, Galatians, Ephesians, Colossians...

    It's amazing how different the message seems when you shed the WT glasses and read the Bible for what it actually says.

    I realize that may be frightening to your wife, but we're talking about the BIBLE.

    Does it really make sense that a person who believes the Bible is God's word should be afraid to read it alone and go by it?

    Does it really make sense that a person can't learn what the Bible teaches by reading the Bible itself but can understand it by reading the writings of fallible, uninspired men who have mistakenly predicted the end of this system more than half a dozen times in a century?

    If she isn't willing to go strictly by the Bible, ask her why she thinks the Watchtower publications are superior.

    If you'd like to PM me about this, feel free; I'd be glad to talk with you further if you think it might help.

  • SweetBabyCheezits

    This is really great to hear for you, SIAM. If your wife needs another female to talk to about it, I will volunteer my wife, who was at the same point as yours a year ago.

    I remember when I suggested to Dan that he try using the Mormon comparison to reason with his wife... but it was too early for her. But it really sounds like your wife is at the same crossroads mine when I convinced her to visit an exMormon forum.

    She said it was pretty eye-opening to read the posts and make the correlations on her own, which I think was especially important.

    Best of luck on this.

  • wannaexit

    I also think your wife is on the right tract. Hang in there. Don't give tooo tooo much. Let her mull things over. She will come to her own conclusions. She sounds like me when my hubby was trying to make me understand.

    This organization warps one's senses in such a horrid way, that it takes a lot of time to wrap your mind around it and come around to seeing the light. But sounds to me that she will come around.

  • brotherdan

    I was trying to remember WHO it was that gave me that Mormon example! It was Cheezy!!!

    Sorry for not giving credit, but I couldn't remember who had told it to me, or if I had just read it in a book or something!

  • brotherdan

    Cheeze, is there a particular exMormon site that helped your wife?

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