Hi stuckinamovement, DITTO what smiddy wrote about this being an inspiring thread for JWs helping spouces.
I'm curious why you and your wife will be meeting with the elders instead of decllining to meet with them. As a former elder you know what you will be up against. It might help other JWs if you write about your reasons for meeting with the elders instead of avoiding them.
Peace be with you and everyone, who you love,
Robert