Stayed up all night, see it is a cult now. (page 12)

mentallyfree31

Gutted,

Check out Randy Watters "Thus Saith" book also. It's a great read. He debunks the WT teachings using our own publications, along with providing some humor along the way.

gutted

To update, I am about 160 pages into Crisis of Conscience and reading other information on the internet. My understanding of the history and methods of the cult are becoming clearer.

One question I do have is, say at work being a devote JW previously, shunning many things, how did you guys go about perhaps changing some things? Say now you want to go for an after work drink, or that slice of birthday cake doesn't seem so bad.

Also how did you go about explaining your position now to say "worldy" friends or family members?

leavingwt

gutted -- You will find that those on the outside will welcome you with open arms, in most cases. They're not interested in the details, usually, they'll just be delighted that you're no longer such a square.

greenie

Yes, take it from an outsider, and I know it's hard to believe since this took up so much of your life and JWs are typically told their preaching work is soooooooo effective and far-reaching, but most outsiders don't really know anything about JWs in-depth. I never even met one until I got involved with my JW. Truly. Outsiders are also not the evil, awful people you were taught they were, they're really nice and will be marginally or politely curious, I bet, in your new behavior. The things you used to believe in will probably blow those people's minds, but most probably won't even ask. And if they do you can simply say, "I'm making some changes in my life." That sums it up, right?

AudeSapere

gutted wrote: One question I do have is, say at work being a devote JW previously, shunning many things, how did you guys go about perhaps changing some things? Say now you want to go for an after work drink, or that slice of birthday cake doesn't seem so bad. Also how did you go about explaining your position now to say "worldy" friends or family members?

You can initiate a drink invite. Just spread the word that you are "looking to go to happy hour - anyone interested?" Don't worry about getting a group together and don't worry if it's just women or just one person. Go. Talk. Have a nice time.

When you know for a cerainty that you are leaving the WT, then start telling family, associates, co-workers that you have done some thinking a re-evaluating and have decided that you were over-zealous/on a wrong path and realize that you were keeping distance and shutting them out for no good reason. You will probably find that they are really happy to have you join them.

I had similar concerns that actually resolved pretty easily. After having been 'out' (faded) for 13+ years, I got to spend Christmas with my uncle and a couple cousins - even went to Mass with them - a year and a half ago. Travelled crosscountry to do it and had a great time.

As far as workmates, for me it was easier because I was working at a job where noone really knew my JW background. They just knew that I sort of kept to myself when it came to social activities. When I did start to mention to a couple people, it was not a big deal at all - especially since I was already out and I was relating something about my past.

I was walk-away believer and successfully faded while waiting for the org to 'get back on track'. After 13+ years of self-imposed isolation, I finally found the truth about the 'truth'. Here is thread I started shortly thereafter:

http://www.jehovahs-witness.net/members/private/82295/1/Do-your-friends-and-workmates-know

Good luck wth your transition to 'normalcy'. JW family is the trickier part. They rest will be fun for you and will pretty much come naturally as you find your way.

Enjoying your post and looking forward to following your story further.

-Aude.

mentallyfree31

Gutted - If you are on page 160 of Crisis of Conscience, then you are just getting into the good stuff. Much more to come.

Black Sheep

how did you go about explaining your position now to say "worldy" friends or family members?

I say, "I was born into a high control cult!", then answer any questions they ask.

I never tell them which one, explaining that because there are thousands of them, it is more important to be able to identify a cult by its attributes than by name.

This works well with Mormons should they accost you. You can keep talking to them about cultish behaviour for ages without mentioning JWs or Mormon specifically. You can see it in their eyes when you strike a chord.

Cheers

Chris

Lady Liberty

Dear Gutted,

I am thrilled to hear you have already dived into The Crisis of Conscience! I am sure your finding it quite enlightening! You asked someting along the lines of: "How do we go about having a drink after work or a piece of B-day cake after saying you couln't to your workmates...????"

Well like many of us here, you just roll with the punches. I found my workmates were thrilled for me. And I surprisingly found them to be extreemly supportive as I was learning the truth about the "truth". They were genuinly interested and asked many questions...so I began to share what I was finding with some of my closest workmates. They were thrilled for me...and to this day I think it was those friends and this forum that helped keep me sain! To know that you have unconditional, true friends, is PRICELESS.

So, if I were you I would take aside a friend or two and tell them you have been doing some research on your faith, and your finding things out that are shocking, and are making you take a second and closer look at it. Tell them you may need to go have a drink after work..would they join you....or when they pass out the B-day cake...tell them you have turned over a new leaf and you don't think you will be strinkin with a bolt of lightening any longer if you share in the festivities...

You will be amazed at how free you are going to begin to feel!! ENJOY!! :D

Sincerely,

Lady Liberty

EndofMysteries

gutted - I've found, and it 'might' be God's intention, there is nobody to turn to so far which I've seen, that you must turn to him, it's a major test of faith, and try to have his spirit teach and instruct you, and look for like minded ones.

Instead of looking to humans for the answer, do a lot of prayer and reading the bible, see if you begin to feel his direction.

Chalam

EndofMysteries Instead of looking to humans for the answer, do a lot of prayer and reading the bible, see if you begin to feel his direction.

Great advice!

Blessings,

Stephen

Stayed up all night, see it is a cult now.

Share this