I have a serious problem

by My Name is of No Consequence 107 Replies latest jw experiences

  • user100

    I think all you have to do is to teach your son TTATT, show him how the bible is all BS and send him to college... I am sure you can plant this in your son without your wife's knowledge. Just do not let him get brainwashed and baptized.

    Everything will go well after that... no need for a confrontation.

  • My Name is of No Consequence
    My Name is of No Consequence

    @ user100:

    He is definitely going to college. That is one thing his mother and I agree on.

  • user100
    I'd just let him learn their BS if they have to teach him that.. but as long as you help him understand they are just teaching him BS.. then whats the problem?
  • stan livedeath
    stan livedeath
    aah--in that case--no need to worry. once he gets to enjoy the freedom college life brings---he will run a mile from that silly little cult. so--do your own thing--enjoy life. let your dub-wife think long and hard where her future lies.
  • Separation of Powers
    Separation of Powers
    Sorry, this is an issue. Unless you have become a "spiritual danger" to your wife and family (see Reasons for Separation as defined by the ORG) then your headship is still in tact. It is a usurpation (one of my favorite words) to circumvent your God-given authority. You may choose to approach the elders and question the motives of the brother and why he feels that he can usurp your authority, God-given authority mind you. If they don't see an issue, then you might simply question his motives on a personal level. Good luck....strange situation I know.
  • steve2

    I get your dilemma, MNNC. It is such a hard balance between taking a firm parenting stand and seeing your son become even more determined to study with this man. At your son's age, he is vulnerable to using anything you do as fuel for his own emerging beliefs. You so don't won't to drive him into their arms - yet you don't want to relinquish your parenting rights either. That's incredibly complex!

    Many posters don't quite grasp the difficulty this poses for you.

    Sure, you could 'up the ante' and find the household situation even worse. It is so hard when no one solution seems to consider all aspects.

    I repeat what I said earlier: You need a safe venue for off-loading and being helped by an independent source to problem-solve and find a way forward.

    Regarding your son's interest in the religion, keep in mind that many youth blow hot and cold with religion. He has his own right to decide what he believes and at the same time he needs to know that you are here for him whatever he believes. You love him unconditionally.

    Another point, contrary to what the witnesses always say, time is on your side. There is absolutely no Armageddon emergency at work here.

  • OnTheWayOut

    I tell you what. I GIVE UP! You want to say that you were not an a-hole. You want to say there's nothing you can do. He's not your son, he's your step-son. You want that to make a difference. You don't want to confront the elders or this individual. You just want to be nice and you are venting your frustration here.

    If your step-son goes to college, he probably will wake up to the reality of Jehovah's Witnesses. I hope the best for him.

  • never a jw
    never a jw

    Step son? That's a game changer.

    College? Good. Emphasize that he should not get baptized until he is done with his secular education. The price to pay is too high if he has regrets about his baptism. Use yourself as an example. You are stuck in a situation you hate. That could --quite likely will-- happen to your son down the road.

  • AlwaysBusy

    Don't let your wife drop the kid off at his house......be careful with your children....My sons and I learned the hard way not to trust anyone. Please watch your son!!!!!!!
  • Chris Hannover
    Chris Hannover

    You don't seem to have the ability or desire to make a stand with your wife or some elders. What you are doing is passive aggressively dragging your feet and being indecisive on where you stand.

    Since you aren't picking a side, they're picking a side for you.

    "If you cant beat them, join them" applies to you. They are obviously stronger and more capable than you, so you should go back to being an active JW. That is the only way you will have peace. You can be a social JW and just play the part.

    Some people aren't built to stand alone, not a failure, just personality.

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