by daniel-p 76 Replies latest jw friends
I can't believe that in this day and age people are still so superstitious to believe Satan is actively involved in our lives. Your mothers beliefs are insane, but they come from the Watchtower, not from her.
"you are PRECIOUS to your God, Jehovah and to the F&DS"
I think not.
I have to say, I didn't understand your mom's letter so I give you points for writing such a nice letter back. I really don't understand where JWs like your mother get their "understanding" of Satan and the demons from, it's too much like a parent telling their child they better be good or else Santa won't bring them any presents on Christmas.
I have to say, I didn't understand your mom's letter so I give you points for writing such a nice letter back. I really don't understand where JWs like your mother get their "understanding" of Satan and the demons from, it's too much like a parent telling their child they better be good or else Santa won't bring them any presents on Christmas.
LOL at startingovernow...the Santa thing works with most young children! Ditto on the response letter.
Yep, insane. And deceptive.
One of the things that I learned from being a cop is that the more vague someone is in his/her language, the more they are trying to conceal. This woman is keeping secrets--or at least, she thinks she is.
Jankyn
Her letter sounds a lot like the stuff they write in their magazines and give in their public talks. It saddens me to see someone so conflicted and tormented. I hope she can seek some true, professional help one day to ease her burden. Your letter back to her is good. I hope it gives her some peace of mind... however, the way the WTS works, they don't want their people with peace of mind. Not from what I've experienced and seen.
I loved your reply letter. You spoke to the undercurrent of a mother's love for her son without validating any of her delusional ideas. You also calmly and respectfully set a firm boundary for yourself. Of course, she is a JW, so whether she respects that is anybody's guess. I might have thrown in a scripture after "life just happens", quoting "time and unforseen occurence befall us all". She wouldn't be able to argue that perspective because it's in her own bible! If you can reach them by using their frame of reference without having to take it on as your own, there is a greater liklihood of establishing some sort of respectful connection.
I'd send it!
I loved your reply letter. You spoke to the undercurrent of a mother's love for her son without validating any of her delusional ideas. You also calmly and respectfully set a firm boundary for yourself. Of course, she is a JW, so whether she respects that is anybody's guess. I might have thrown in a scripture after "life just happens", quoting "time and unforseen occurence befall us all". She wouldn't be able to argue that perspective because it's in her own bible! If you can reach them by using their frame of reference without having to take it on as your own, there is a greater liklihood of establishing some sort of respectful connection.
I'd send it!
WOW Far out
Thanks everyone for your kind replies. I wish I could reply to each of you individually, but I wanted to give an update on the situation.
Things are going to get interesting. As you all know by the tone of my mother's email, she's a fire and brimstone believer who rallies the support of scripture in her favor--she's the epitome of self-righteous religious nut, sad to say. I'm not trying to insult her, but it's a very fair and accurate description. If you've read my memoirs, you know what I'm talking about.
So after I sent her that email (the one that was all nice and balanced), I got this:
Son, I need you to explain exactly what you mean by 'respect' of the 'privacy of my spirituality' please. I love you too mom
Ok, fair enough. So I send her this:
What I mean is that you not try to get others to encourage me. In that past, you've employed others to carry out whatever you think needs to be done; I realize you mean well.. but that kind of thing is usually counter-productive, and in this case, unnecessary. It also puts a strain on those other relationships.
Her reply that same day:
Oh you mean when I thought you were going to die?
Someday you may understand - Here's the scoop: I have never "employed" anybody to go visit you there. I don't even know the elders in [your congregation]. I remember Bro [PO's] name as you introduced me to his son, but have never even met the man. [Old family friend] told me that he wanted to go see you and "promised" that he would even tho I don't recall actually asking him to. That was his own desire as he really cares about his brothers, has known you since you were 8 yrs old and has always admired you boys, your sister & me. He has a huge heart full of love for people. I don't mind you making a request of me, son. I do feel that you could try to be more forgiving of the shortcomings of others & understanding of their limitations. And in your mother's case, I realize that I can go 'overboard' but thought you understood this in me and so expected a more loving way of expressing what you want.
That last paragraph was actually kind of surprising... much more "with it" than it usually sounds. However, she still finds a way to "dig in" by implying I could have found "a more loving way of expressing what I want." That kind of hurt, because I honestly tried to be as loving as I could with my reply. So I get a little more blunt with a reply a day or so later:
I feel that I expressed what I wanted quite lovingly, in fact.
And no, I'm not talking about when I was ill. Just in general.
Her reply:
I guess what I meant was, you being my son, I would like it if you put some 'padding' on what you say so that it doesn't sound like an 'order'. Whatever. I ignore the email. Then, a day later, I get this email, with my original reply broken down and replied to paragraph by paragraph: Son, I really was very glad to hear you express what you have been feeling. I've never harbored any anger at Jehovah. I certainly don't have anything to be angry at God for--I have a wonderful life, am healthy, and am very happy with [my wife]. And even if I didn't have those things, how could I be angry at God? Isn't that the lesson of Job?Well, this is a very good attitude..and yes, this is the lesson. Job did get adjustment thru Elihu's counsel & directly from Jehovah so that he saw he was exalting his own righteousness & also needed to pray for those 'friends', his brothers, whom Jah said his anger had grown "hot against" as they had not spoken "what is truthful as has my servant Job." They had to take 7 bulls & 7 rams and sacrifice them on their own behalf but in front of Job. I love that. I have meditated on what you said here, son, esp the sentence "And even if I didn't have those things, how could I be angry at God?" You have caused me to reflect on some of my own past & the feelings I have had and I feel pretty humbled by what you said - after all, coming from my own 'child'. With that said, I'm not going to go through life blaming Satan for every bad thing that happens, or thanking Jehovah for every good thing that happens, because so much in life just happens. That is the only way for me to make sense of it: to do my best, but to accept what happens in life. T his is true - "time & unforseen occurance.." Jehovah explains this here as Jesus also did when that tower fell on some people, killing them. And we have had articles on whether or not we should blame Satan for every bad thing - "no", we make decisions too, and so do others, so on & so forth. We must take responsibility. And, I've always felt you have done your 'best'. One of the primary reasons why I went "inactive" is because I no longer had a desire to have a sort of "public faith," where every one's spirituality is made a public display. If I'm to nurture any kind of relationship with my God, than it's a personal experience, and I don't feel a need to share it beyond a point at which the quality of the experience is reduced, and especially when that display is an expected, even required, component of worship. There is a difference between gathering together for genuine encouragement, and a constant, artificial "admonishment" that tends to wear down. I want to say how deeply sorry I am that you have felt your faith was being 'compromised' in some way. That certainly is NOT what our worship is meant to be about. This not only grieves me but grieves Jehovah. I'll stop there, because I don't want to say anything that would discourage you. I hope you can understand and accept where I'm coming from.I am trying. I can only read what you have said here and then perhaps, put it together w/ what you expressed to me in the little health cafe we met in for lunch that day. I am guessing that you mean the ministry? and perhaps you felt some form of unloving 'pressure' from an overseer (s) to keep up your hours and this may have been presented in an unloving way not considering your circumstances or even the person you are? Maybe someone rather 'overstepped' the boundaries of personal choice as well? From what you say here I gather you felt that this was more for "display" & therefore came off as 'artificial admonition'. If indeed true, this would be grievous. Do I have it right or ?? I wait a few days. Finally, I just decide to throw her a bone. I'm not sure why--perhaps to test her and see how far she'll let me really say what I mean. She typically will want as much info as she can get, but if it's something she doesn't want to here, she'll go ballistic. So I send her this:
I wasn't referring to anything anyone has said to me in particular. Rather, I was referring to the Society's arrangements in general. Basically, the more I performed, giving talks, going out in service, conventions, meetings, etc., the further I felt from a true kind of spirituality. Works are important, but frankly, I think there is just too much emphasis on them and too little emphasis on faith and a personal relationship with God.
Her reply:
I see.
You used a specific word here "performed"..That must be how you felt then. Son, when did you begin to feel that way, may I ask that? Finally, today, I tell her this: Primarily when I realized the hypocritical and false stance on higher education. What I saw as intellectual dishonesty troubled me and I started to realize that I had little desire to more and more works in support of a faith that was supposed to be my own.
That's really all I can say about it--and more than I intended to say. Again, I don't want to discourage you by my words, nor anyone else, but it is what it is.
I'm fine with where I'm at right now, and I have no desire to share my spirituality in the public sphere of the Kingdom Hall. And that's it so far. I don't think she's going to like what I have to say if she keeps probing for "the answer." She thinks there's something at the root of it all, and that she'll be able to reach into "my precious heart" and save me. The amount of Biblical rhetoric she has swimming around in her mixed up head is quite sickening, especially when she treats me like I'm the prodigal lost lamb or some such bullcrap that makes me want to hurl. So I'm waiting for her reply to see if she does indeed go apeshit. I really don't know what to expect. It's the closest I've come to saying I don't believe in it anymore, although I'm still avoiding that in order to stay properly "faded." All good things must some to an end, but I'll be the one ending them, thank you very much. ;)
um, if you took her emails to her/a doctor, they would lock her up,,,just saying
orb
