I hate this cult... and how my dad abuses my mom (page 4)

Spectre

I wish I could do something other than just hope for the best.

It was very nice to meet all 3 of you.

I'm worried that the "elders" will not believe your mom, that they'll think she's influenced by her "apostate" son and that things might get worse for her. Might they take action against her for associating with you? I wish you could just get her out of there.

Emma

Mary

he needs therapy, and meds. His brother is schizophenic, and he is dysfunctional. That's why I worry for my mom.

Lance, is there any chance you could at least phone the local police station where your mom lives and explain why you're afraid for her safety? If your stepdad has serious mental problems (and it sounds like he does), then he is most definitely a danger to your mom. What about also calling Social Services in her area to describe the situation? Just so that the authorities are aware of what's going on.

Dealing with someone who is mentally unstable is bad enough, but when you throw in the religion, it's a recipe for disaster.

When she gets DFd (bc the witch hunt is on, and she knows she is going to get the axe), I know he is going to flip. That's why I am so upset, even now, bc it's going to get even worse.

If your mom is financially able to support herself, is there any chance she could move out now? If she gets DF'd, it could make your step-dad go over the edge.....she needs to get away now. As for the asshole of an elder that you phoned, I would phone him once more at tell him that you've informed the local police about your stepdad's behaviour and also informed them of the religions' unwillingness to help a battered woman. Stupid jerkoff.

Keep us posted.

jwfacts

I am sorry to hear what your mother is going through.

The conversation with the PO is typical and highlights the extent of false logic JWs are so good at developing. How does your standing have anything to do with the plight of your mother? He could at least have offered to talk to her. The legal aspects certainly outweigh love amongst JWs.

isaacaustin

amazing! Shows the heavy hand of the Wt as well as the hypocrisy. If we are to evaluate this by JW standards...we have Kenny, an upstanding and exemplary JW, one of the annointed, who is consistently for a long period of time displayed unChristian qualities and uncontrolled fits of anger. Doesn't the Bible, including the NWT say an overseer must not be prone to fits of anger? Great job by the PO. Its that same attitude toward child molestation that got them sued.

Dismembered

That "PO" should be emasculated. That Bastard! As far as your step dad, he needs to have his head adjusted by Hillerich & Bradsby.

Dismembered

blondie

Actually, I found that elders did not listen to jws in good standing who reported verbal, physical, emotional abuse.

WuzLovesDubs

Ok when I read about things like this I get sooooo upset. Forget about the POs reaction, that was just beyond ignorant. But your mom is in danger. I put up with verbal abuse, emotional abuse, spiritual abuse for YEARS from my ex husband...incessant yelling and demeaning and name calling and control control control, sometimes all the way through the night like others here. And he had his KIDS at home and would continue to abuse ME in spite of them being there. He managed over the four years we were married to totally isolate me from my friends, my family, and my self worth. I felt like I had to be submissive to him to keep these episodes from happening. They happened anyway. He was such a miserable human being, but ONLY took it out on ME...nobody else on the planet would have put up with this shit and he knew I was afraid to confront him and afraid to tell anyone for fear of the repurcussions. He was an entirely different person to the outside world as I am sure your step father is to the "friends"...they probably see him only as this wonderful caring brother and since his wife never says anything..why would they believe you?

And...eventually he lost his temper one too many times and hit me...and when his then 14 year old tried to stop him, he got beat up too. I had never called the police, I had never told anyone about the abuse because I was embarrassed that I had married such a horrible person. I wish someone had gotten ME out of that situation, a decision I couldnt make on my own.

As her son, you have to physically remove her and her belongings and stand between her and him while it is done. There is such a thing as senior abuse...and it doesnt exclude spouses. This guy has major issues. And he is destroying her as sure as he is putting a knife to her throat.

Dont wait for it to escalate. Get her the hell out of there.

ninja

hey lance...never mind involving any PO....go round and kick your stepdad in the balls and tell him if he EVER talks to your mum like that again you are going to knock him out....grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

sir82

Any other elders on the BOE who aren't quite so "full-on Nazi" as this guy? I.e., how powerful is he?

On some BOEs, the PO rules the roost. But in other congregations, there is more of a balance, and the PO can be easily out-maneuvered.

Maybe some other elder, someone who still has at least a remnant of humanity about him, would be able to help.

If your purpose really is to help your mom, remember that many, probably most, elders like to have their egos stroked. If you can stomach it, maybe grovel a bit, like "I know I'm not as spiritual as you now, Brother Elder, I've got no real right to ask, but my mom is still a faithful JW, and is undergoing such and so...could you see if you could help her out a bit?"

I.e., make the other elder feel important & spiritual, like he is riding on a stallion to the rescue of a poor little sheep.

If you can stomach it, that is.

I hate this cult... and how my dad abuses my mom

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