We already spoke during our trip. She has a place with us, or her worldly sis is willing to put her up for an extended time too. Both her sisters think my stepdad is an asshole too.
I hate this cult... and how my dad abuses my mom
by Awakened at Gilead 85 Replies latest members private
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Awakened at Gilead
When you are yelled at like that continously, your mind gets flustered and you begin to agree to things you otherwise would not.
Her trip with you has probably really intimidated him. He does not want her to have any allies, esp an ex-JW....sinner, fornicator!!!
Well said, you know exactly what she is going through.
One particular night, it went on the entire night until the sun came up and I literally passed out from exhaustion.
My mother has been thru this countless times. She has learned to accept it.
I appreciated non-judgemental support. It's very hard to even tell anyone that you live in these kinds of circumstances, so the hardest thing to do as a loving observer is to make sure the lines of communication are always open.
That's what we are giving her. It's empowered her somewhat, since she knows she is not alone. And stepdad definitely feels the loss of control. Thanks for your insight.
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purplesofa
My mother has been thru this countless times. She has learned to accept it.
It brings back some really bad memories.
I wish her the strength to get away, he can really do a number on her self-esteem and worth.
I hope she never feels like she deserves this treatment and I am glad she knows she has a safe haven with you or her daughter.
Sorry for the whole family.
purps
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Marjorie
Her trip with you has probably really intimidated him. He does not want her to have any allies, esp an ex-JW....sinner, fornicator!!!
Your stepfather doesn't want you to have any allies, either. He thinks that your mother's approval is a direct slap in-the-face - against him.
When your mother finally leaves the Society, that may be the final act of defiance (in his eyes), that pushes him over the edge. Your mother needs to leave him well before then.
And as far as this testimony from a "Witness of good standing" goes, it comes from the same asinine mentality that has given us the "two witness" pedophile rule.
"By their fruits, you shall know them."
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Confession
A@G... Well we all figured this is what would happen. Until you told me, I hadn't realized that you two lived so far apart, and although your mom told me she was beginning to start a new life (i.e., volunteering at the hospital, etc.) I was hoping she could find some ex-JW support in her local area.
Your conversation with the elder is quite remarkable. Having served as one before, I don't believe this is how most elders would respond. Refusing to even look into a report of domestic abuse because you're not "in good standing" would not be the advice of the Watchtower Society either. But that's the frustrating thing. Among those who end up as "elder" you will find a nifty array of nutjobs and misfits. I know my girlfriend, Rachel, didn't speak up too much the other evening, since we were doing most of the talking, but when I read her that conversation, she had a very succinct assessment...
"What a dumbass."
If your mom decides to come back to Tempe, she can expect our full support. Our thoughts are with you.
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cameo-d
Lance,
I would suggest that you talk to your mother about calling her family doctor and make an appointment just to talk to him about what she is going through. Domestic violence is considered a health care issue. Doctors (and dentists) are trained in dealing with helping victims of domestic abuse. He will know how to advise her and would probably set her up with professional counseling to empower herself in dealing with this. Stress is a killer and a doctor may need to prescribe something to help her nerves. He may also need to make a medical assessment of how this is affecting her health.
I am so sorry this is happening to you and to your mother.
Cameo-d
A culture of silence
According to the U.S. Department of Justice, violence between intimate partners is difficult to measure because it often occurs privately, and victims often are reluctant to report incidents to anyone because of a myriad of factors, including denial, shame, humiliation, concern over confidentiality or of being stigmatized, and especially fear of reprisal. The gross underreporting of incidents and the widespread incidence causes some experts to refer to domestic violence as a “silent epidemic.”
Historically, domestic violence has been considered a “private problem” between the batterer and victim. Two-thirds of all marriages will experience domestic violence at least once. However, abuse is not a family matter that is best addressed in the privacy of the home. Without outside intervention, violent episodes tend to recur and escalate in intensity.
Domestic violence is the most common cause of serious injury in women. In fact, domestic violence accounts for more than 50 percent of all female homicides.
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only me
I agree with everyone who says she needs to leave now.
She needs to talk to someone who can help her get away and help her keep what self esteem she can salvage.
A call to crisis services, the police or a Catholic priest will help. They know how to deal with these situations and can arrange for temporary housing and counseling.
She sounds like an amazing woman, please tell her that she is not alone, there are many people who care.
You take care too.
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llbh
Hi Lance,
I was so sad to hear you are going through this. What an idiot PO!
Great to hear you had a lovely trip with your mum and GF. I will call you over the weekend as the time differences allow , or if you want you can call me anytime.
Focus on what you have done, that may help. The behaviour of your abusive Step dad should be able to help you mum see things more clearly
Regards David
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Witness 007
What an asshole P.O! Seriously, so much for caring about the "flock" under his care, he would rather takes some shots at an "apostate."
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Witness 007
My mum was bashed and finally strangled by my step-dad pioneer Elder.....that time he did finally lose his privleges, and marriage.