I have thought about this thread for about a day now. Trying to be reasonable and as objective as I can be. We can look at stories everyday of people that have overcome huge obstacles they suffered through as children. And I take a look at their story and think, wow, why can't I achieve a fraction of what they do?
I was not raised a JW. Many, many of the things JW's dealt with as children I did as a child too! I was amazed when I started studying as an adult, what the core of the religion was about, obediance, discipline, sacrifice, marching around like little soldiers, I'm OK-your not OK mentality, child were to be seen and not heard. When we studied about the Mosiac Law, I told my teacher "I was raised under the Mosiac Law!" My mother was treacherous!
I was damaged before I ever was a JW. My mother was very abusive, we lived in a very strict enviroment, we were isolated from the outside, as in an abusive household there are many secrets.
As an adult we can make our own decisions about the course of our life. We are held accountable for our decisions. We can change and rectify our past.
So I have spent alot of time at this board, I have years now behind me of not going to meetings, I briefly went to a therapist. The unravelling of the WT teachings was relatively easy. The mental stuff, once that was done and I was still having problems......damage I had to reflect back to what life was before being a witness.
I think my upbringing and some of the witness childrens upbringing parallels. It was controlling, withdrawn, I could never do enough, etc etc. BUT, I did not have the reinforcement of that lifestyle outside of my family life.
I see adults now that have left the organization and had healthy wonderful loving parents. But I see damage. The WT upbringing is engrained in them, so intertwined and so deeply, they are surely damaged. They are more sucessful in many ways than myself. But I don't see anymore happiness than me.
Walking away from the religion is not enough. Education, undoing, unravelling the teachings, I believe has to be done. And as you mentally do that, you emotionally have to deal with things too.
I have to from time to time in my journey, stop taking in real TRuths until I can emotionally handle it.
I think what makes the JW experiance so much harder to get away from is
Everyone you know is a JW too. Depending on how much you were allowed growing up to associate with outsiders will determine with how much damage was done.
You always have it hanging over your head if you rebel you will lose all your family and friends. I did not have that growing up as a Catholic. ( A side note, I think some JW's sucessfully leave the religion with the same mindset I had when I left Catholicism, it was my choice for a better life. It was MY journey)
and lastly, when leaving the WT religion you are told you no longer have a relationship with GOD. I did not grow up with this message. That cuts into a person deepest being. It's disabling, it can handicap someone for a very long time. It's very cruel, very very damaging.
So, I believe that some people walk away with less damage than others. But there is damage and there was some work by anyone that leaves the challenges of being raised a JW to undue that damage.
Our thoughts and feelings are very intensified, focused on being a JW, exJW, fading........... most of us are way better off than we give ourselves credit for. Some of us are more damaged than we will ever realize.
purps