I don't accept the underlying assumption of this thread that growing up a JW need necessarily be wholly or even primarily a negative experience. That is what I was trying to say before.
Is it possible for a child to be exposed to JWism and not be damaged by it?
by Mickey mouse 140 Replies latest jw experiences
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sammielee24
"Parents give their children up to the Watchtower. They hand them over to be raised by them."
Sammieswife, that's EXACTLY what I did. I've regretted it every day. I wonder if my son will ever forgive me for it.
StAnn
I did not meant that comment to imply that people didn't do the best they could. What I meant was that as a JW you are bound by their rules and only their rules. If the society says that dancing is bad and one will be cast out because of it, then a JW parent will forbid the dancing instead of looking deeper into the issue. When the society says blood is bad, the JW parent followed the orders, sometimes to the death, and not allowed blood that would save their child. The society still tells a parent that secondary education is not needed and parents in turn relay that to their kids. Every day the WTS says that Armeggedon is tomorrow..tomorrow becomes next week...every day a JW child asks a parent 'what should I do' about something, a JW parent says 'wait on Jehovah'..or 'it won't matter wait on the new system of things'. The WTS says don't associate with non JW's so the parent watches their childs association carefully - even refusing non JW relatives access to the child. The WTS says don't smoke so the child watches the father in order to report to the Elder about his parent.
Everything a child does in the society is watched, monitored, measured and instructed by the society and parents since they follow those same orders, by default, hand them over to the WT.
People are spied on to see if they can be caught fornicating after legal divorces; they are spied on to see if they are hanging out with 'worldly' people; they are spied on to see if they have a banned book laying on the coffee table or if they are buying an Easter egg at Walmart. The WTS encourages that sort of behaviour and so when we apply what the WTS wants, we default our own reasoning and logic for theirs. Thus we hand them over to the WTS.
In the real world, normal behaviour is not one where we learn to spy on family or friends and to turn them in for counselling or punishment. That only happens perhaps in a place where it may be encouraged and sadly often comes with the expectation or knowledge that punishment may follow but your reward for 'telling on' the culprit is a pat on the back for doing what 'Jehovah' expects you to do.
The WTS has realms of information on how they were persecuted by the 'world' and JW's lap it up like a cat with fresh milk...sadly, a JW is taught that they should persecute their own, even those who might be weak or leave the flock. Persecution of one another is taught at a base level without any interference from the outside. sammieswife.
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shamus100
Growing up looking at pictures like this... hmmm...
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sammielee24
There would have to be a segment out there who will never leave, never be abused, never need blood, never have anybody they love leave or get kicked out, and never hear anything negative about it so they'll always be happy about what they believe. I think they'll be getting through life quite amiably.
The question was whether or not a child could be exposed to it without damage - I don't believe so. A child raised inside has a separate set of issues in regards to understanding and coping with being different as a child - the flag issue, the celebration issue, the birthday issue, not dating, not going to a movie, not reading certain books, having to go door to door at 5 years old, not having contact with grandparents, aunts and uncles who may not also be a JW. Those are smaller, perhaps subtle issues but they erode the core of a child and wihout a doubt have an impact.
Most certainly we all know JW's who were raised in and that appear to get along quite nicely...but the majority I know, still don't believe that they need to get education, they don't save, they turn away from the learning process into the safety of the society and all that eventually catches up with them.
I know elderly family members now who are bedridden. They can't get out any longer and they are expendable to the society. They haven't made friends outside or mingled with the world, and as JW's stop visiting them, don't offer to assist in any way - they become lonlier and many I know are questioning and bitter. The rest keep up trying to cope with depression, hoping that the end comes tomorrow because today is too hard to live in and I know still others who are healthy but not willing to take a job with a future or set a goal for themselves that might take time away from the preaching work because the end is so near. I also know families that packed up and moved kids to where the need was great - more than once - disrupting those kids lives each time.
I don't think there is any way for a child exposed to the WTS to escape totally from it's dangerous tentacles. It's hard enough on a day to day basis for many people - add a repressive layer of religious restriction and punishment on to that and it becomes even more difficult. That's what I've seen anyway....although I wish I could fool myself into believing something else......sammieswife.
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sammielee24
Good point Shamus...glad you included that! Those pictures have an incredible impact and are the reason why so many JW's start out having demonistic dreams when they are young and those dreams continue as they age.
Interesting enough - Sam has stopped having those 'dreams' for the most part - except - when we get the odd letter from one of his family or they call for some reason. Then it's pretty guaranteed that an episode with happen that night and I have to wake him up out of it. Psychological damage from a lifetime of fear fuelled living with the WTS..... - sammieswife.
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shamus100
Sammie,
There are many more pictures where that came from. A picture is worth a thousand words.
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beksbks
I think your avatar is a good example Shamus. Look what the Society has done to you!
I don't really mean to be flip on this subject, I believe my life was nearly ruined by being raised a JW. But I'm a pretty happy person these days, and this subject seems to have serious polar opposites.
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quietlyleaving
I'm changing my stance from earlier on in the thread and saying that yes it is possible fro a child to be exposed to JWism and not be damaged by it.
There is a lot more to life within Jehovahs Wintesses than the mere rules and regulations and their infraction listed here. JWs do not go around snooping on one another. A few in each congregation are like that but elders usually ignore them until somebody else comes along and mentions the same thing. Elders do not go looking for corroborating evidence. They really are interested mainly in the spiritual condition of the flock. But there are corrupt people in every field no less among JWs.
Guys you are all going over the top imo. If JWs were a powerful soul destroying cult why hasn't the government done anything about them? I personally am quite happy and unpeturbed about seeing my grand daughter brought up as a JW. Indeed I would go back if the meetings weren't so boring.
Please remember that what we have on this board is a powerful illusion of suffering that we are creating and this can engulf those who are feeling temporarily emotionally unstable and cause them to sink lower than they need to be.
ql
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dinah
Being "damaged" in some way does not mean that we should all be in the insane asylum. Maybe a better word would be "changed" or "altered".
The few "kids" I still see from our old congregation still suffer from it in varying degrees as adults, but not to the extent that they can't function. We have ALL dealt with moderate-severe depression (most have drinking/drug issues). But on the other hand, ex-dubs don't hold a monopoly on depression!
I have some VERY happy childhood memories that involve that religion. The only problem is, the bad memories are so very, very BAD. It's hard to balance it all out.
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quietlyleaving
yes this is what I mean dinah. Imo the bad times emphasize the goodness of the good times and those good times are precious memories to me