The JWD stigma about being "nice"

by changeling 108 Replies latest jw friends

  • R.Crusoe
    R.Crusoe

    Maybe Changeling you had too long a run of negatives coming at you!

    That feeling is one of absolute 'nonsense' repeatedly coming at you and having a twist to it that sucks positive energy out of your inner self.

    I think if you become aware of when this starts up - this negative vacuum trying to clean out your energy source, it is a good time to close your chakras and keep them within for use in ways you can help yourself.

    Helping others can then come when it will - if its not draining you - which you must always be AWARE of - in order to be who you are!

    Best wishes with all of your chakras.-

  • hillary_step
    hillary_step

    Changeling,

    I am not sure what you mean by being 'nice'. Can you explain. I cannot think of any person that I would want to insult by calling them 'nice'. ;)

    Many topics on this Board challenge, as well they should. Often topics are controversial. Religious, anti religious or political threads being the topics that normally raise the ire, as few people I suspect care that much about the flavor of pizza toppings. Inevitably the more controversial subjects raise the hackles of some, and again, so they should.

    The WTS had one method that dealt with contoversy. It was not so much the 'Can't we all get along together' philosophy, it went even further and roamed into the 'we WILL get along with one another' philosophy. The basis on which this philosophy rested was that we all speak in unison in order for our statements to be 'seasoned with salt' so that we may not stumble those we were trying to recruit. It is an unhealthy philosophy leading to much mental turmoil because stifiling opinions, however strongly they may manifest themselves, is psychologically harmful.

    I have seen that philosophy reversed on this Board and have seen people 'counselled' for expressing strong viewpoints in a vigorous manner just in case exiting JW's are frightened away from the Board. I have repeatedly, and accurately asserted that any person who posts to this Board does NOT do it as a spontaneous, first off, action. Often they read the Board for weeks, some like Burn for example, for years before posting. They know what they are getting in to. What many do not know is how to express opinions, and once expressed how to sustain these opinions. They have not had a voice in the past, and are finding it, or have found it. This Board helps people to grow opinions. And good luck to them. I too was a member of the cuddly club at one point but learned quickly that it merely empowers negative behavior in many.

    I detest the insipid phoniness that shines like a beacon from the posts of many who are still clinging to the safety of 'congregationl thinking' and seek to counsel others as to when they can speak, how their speech should be presented, and in what manner they comport themselves on a public discussion Board, which is moderated anyway. I would love to see them discussing politics in a Parisian cafe, or football at an Italian one...lol. The real world is not alaways the happy place we would desire.

    I am not scared of peoples opinions, however vigorously they are presented. I spent ten years as a Special Pioneer in an area where the Witnesses were pretty well loathed so I developed a thick skin, but for members of the Cuddly Club who are perhaps more sensitively inclined need to learn three things:

    1) This is merely a discussion Board, not the United Nations. However many delusionary claims that we may make about saving souls on this Board are too grandoise to be taken seriously. Those souls were saved or otherwise weeks, months or years before the person subscribed to this Board.

    2) If you do not want to be witness to strong opinons, strongly presented, strongly attacked and strongly defended, do not click on any political threads, those that deal with evolution and science, and those in which Board members pepper spray elderly Witnesses or pretend to be who they are not. ;)

    3) They would be taken more seriously if they did not spend all day insulting Jehovah's Witnesses.

    HS

  • changeling
    changeling

    Ok, RC, who are you and what have you done with the real RC?

    While I get what you're saying and sort of agree, I don't remember you being into this stuff. Was I gone that long?????????

    By the way, I'm OK. I was just making an observation. I was gone long enough to re-charge. Thanks for caring.

    changeling :)

  • changeling
    changeling

    HS: I have no problem with opinions being strongly expressed. I myself am doing as much with this thread. I have no problem with controversial topics such as politics, science and religion being expounded. Hell, I consider myself a warm and fuzzy, politically liberal, athiest. I walk around my very conservative neck of the woods as a 48 year old grandmother wearing ethnic jewelry and a piercing in the top of my left ear. I'm used to (and proud of) being different.

    However, I do have a problem with how you and other "high brow" posters put others down. By referring to some as the "cuddly club" and poking fun at the farewell expression of a particular poster you show yourself to be a bully.

    I have no patience for bullies.

    Perhaps you have gone too far in trying to get away from the JW group mentality. Perhaps it is posible to be a free thinker and "own" ones opinions without trashing those of others.

    I in now way want to monitor what others say or how they say it. We are all adults and should have learned by now to monitor ourselves. But this is a public forum. we are not talking to ourselves in our heads. A little consideration for others is not too much to ask for.

    changeling :)

  • wings
    wings
    I too was a member of the cuddly club at one point but learned quickly that it merely empowers negative behavior in many.

    Are you serious???

    cuddly club????

    What exactly do you call your new persona? I need to know.

  • changeling
    changeling

    Wings: I think HS feels he must be "tough" as a means to protect himself. He sees the members of the cuddly club as vulnerable. He has confused being cruel with being strong.

    What he has not come to realize is that there is a certain strengh in being vulnerable. While yes, maybe people (mean people) are more inclined to step on those they think will not fight back, they are sometimes shocked to see that warm and fuzzy people can and do come back swinging. Kindness and boldness are not mutually exclusive.

    I think he also feels that kind people are insincere. That may be the case sometimes, and it's a shame. But that's no reason to ridicule kindness.

    changeling :)

  • cognizant dissident
    cognizant dissident

    Wings: I think HS feels he must be "tough" as a means to protect himself. He sees the members of the cuddly club as vulnerable. He has confused being cruel with being strong.

    What he has not come to realize is that there is a certain strengh in being vulnerable. While yes, maybe people (mean people) are more inclined to step on those they think will not fight back, they are sometimes shocked to see that warm and fuzzy people can and do come back swinging. Kindness and boldness are not mutually exclusive.

    I think he also feels that kind people are insincere. That may be the case sometimes, and it's a shame. But that's no reason to ridicule kindness.

    changeling :)

    The real irony here is that amateur, armchair psychoanalysts can't see how presumptuous, rude and arrogant it is to assume you know how someone else "feels", what they "realize" and what their underlying motivations are based on a few posts on an anonymous discussion board. Your statements about Hillary are just as judgemental and "cruel" as any he has made to anyone else. They are just couched in psycho-babble and false sentimentalism.

    The only difference is Hillary is more honest than you. He doesn't insult people with the pretense of "helping" them or carrying about their emotional health and well being. He just calls a spade a spade. I can respect that. Plus, he is funny when he does it, and quite frankly, your're not! Cog
  • journey-on
    journey-on

    LOL....Cog Diss

    I'm not taking either side on this issue, but it's just funny to me that you always come out of the woodwork

    when Hillary_Step is criticized.....but seldom for anyone else. Are you two kin? personal friends? what?

    It just sticks out like a sore thumb and makes me think if you're not one of the above, then you definitly

    have the hots for him....just kidding (sort of).

  • changeling
    changeling

    Changeling,

    PS. Forgot to add. You must add 'Peace Out' as a signature on your posts. The Urban Dictionary defines the meaning of 'Peace Out' this way:

    1.peace out

    depending on the context:
    1) c ya later
    2) fuck off

    1) ok, gtg. peace out!
    2) peace out, loser (d.)

    It is a passive-aggressive term well understood by Cuddly Club devotees, as it can be used in numerous contexts. Examples: 'Peace Out Bush',' Peace Out Mr. Buble' or 'Peace Out Unfortunate Orphan', 'Peace Out You Very Needy Sweetie' always uttered with a inscrutable Kingdom Smile in place.

    HS who is now going to Peace Off.

    Cog: The above are just some of HS's comments that I take issue with. He also made sarcastic comments about the "cuddley club" which everyone on this boad knows is a dig to certain very caring people. He has today, and in the past made comments that imply that being nice and posting "fluff" threads equals being stupid

    My "psychoanalizing" of HS was nothing more than a reference to his post about toughening himself up after leaving the WT. In my opinion he went to far.

    And you are right, I was mean to HS. He had it coming.

    changeling

  • cognizant dissident
    cognizant dissident

    LOL....Cog Diss

    I'm not taking either side on this issue, but it's just funny to me that you always come out of the woodwork

    when Hillary_Step is criticized.....but seldom for anyone else. Are you two kin? personal friends? what?

    It just sticks out like a sore thumb and makes me think if you're not one of the above, then you definitly

    have the hots for him....just kidding (sort of).

    Ahh you're just saying that because I told you off once for insulting him unfairly, imo. Actually, if you follow my posts, I have told off other people for being hypocritical a number of times and Hillary was no where to be found in the equation. I just told off Bizzy Bee last night for her paranoid schizophrenia re: Cognac's husband. But since you bring it up, I do have the hots for anyone intelligent and honest, so yeah, I guess I have the hots for Hillary. Keep up your interesting posts and I might get the hots for you too! Cog

Share this

Google+
Pinterest
Reddit