The JWD stigma about being "nice"

by changeling 108 Replies latest jw friends

  • changeling

    I'm back from a little JWD break and I'm happy to see that things are not as volatile as when I left. However, some things never change. And one thing that seems to be a constant around here is the mentality of some very intelligent and knowledgeble ones (in their own minds at least) that if you are "nice" you are some how emotionally needy and/or not too bright.

    I don't think the "happy people" on the board have anything against people with high IQ's. So, why do some of these intellectual giants feel the need to put down "warm and fuzzy " people and the topics they chose to discuss? If they want a forum where only science and deep doctrine are discussed, why don't they start one? Until they do, why can't we all be tolerant of each other and our different interests and perspectives, without trashing each other?

    And where did the idea that to be intellectual you must be rude and cold originate anyway? I personally know many highly intelligent people who are also kind and caring. In fact, I know a lot of rude morons.

    I know this will go down as yet another "let's be nice" thread, and made fun of exponentially, but that's ok with me.

    changeling :)

  • Gopher

    People leave JW's for various reasons -- some personal, some doctrinal. So too, people come to this board for various reasons -- some personal, some doctrinal/technical.

    It takes all kinds to make this board. I don't expect everyone here to be 'nice'. I would expect most who are ex-JW's to at least be thoughtful and supportive. (I'm saying "nice" can be an affectation.)

    I too have seen where some of the more intellectual posters directly or indirectly put down others who are here mainly to get or provide support. We really can't change people, but we can post counterbalancing, thoughtful and supportive things here so that people who need support will sense that they can get it here.

  • Pwned

    i come and go a lot from this board but i do find that some people have an un-healthy obsession/dependance on this board and take things too personally. its a anonymous message board people, 90% of the time people try to be nice and helpful, the rest of the time who cares, its a message board.

  • llbh

    I personally abhor rudenes - can not see the point. That being said it is imporatant on some topics to challenge those whose assertions are open to question, the trick is to do this whilest being kind and dignified.

    Regards David

  • FlyingHighNow
    So, why do some of these intellectual giants feel the need to put down "warm and fuzzy " people and the topics they chose to discuss?

    Ahh, they take themselves and life too seriously. We got out of the dubs so we could lighten up. I cringe everytime I see the words: Fluff Alert on a topic title. Why should anyone apologize for a lighthearted thread? And intellectuals aren't necessarily smart in every aspect of their brains. Everyone has his/her own gift. Stuffy people just make me smile.

  • Dogpatch

    some are angry

    others want an audience

    not too hard to spy the hungry ego at work,

    trying to draw up sides and choose teammates.

    no "nice" in such games as it is a sign of weakness to be vulnerable.

    put a name and location on that cowardly face that is hiding behind their tiny icon...

    and watch them turn in to little pussy whips that are suddenly very insecure.

    some games come at a high social price.

    too bad.

    you are not the real loser.


  • compound complex
    compound complex

    Greetings, changeling:

    I don't have an actual answer to your question, though I do understand what you mean. Only yesterday I was thinking that we are all wired somewhat differently, vis-a-vis thinking patterns and emotional reaction to common situations. Try as I may, I can neither follow nor comprehend Biblical and scholarly discourse. I really do want to. Yet there are scenarios where I truly do "feel at home," and others that I wouldn't touch with a barge pole. I cannot and will not discuss what I deem unseemly, such as s****l issues. Never could. Am I weird? Likewise, someone may act the total idiot (is "idiot" a bad word?), but I'll never say so.

    The above is, as already stated, not a direct response to what you've laid out. I believe that as I get older my mental capacities are diminishing, but I'm trying not to let it get me down. I don't feel unwelcome here by any means though I do feel quite the alien, as in space cadet.

    I will get on your wagon though I might not know where I'm heading ...

    BTW, warm and fuzzy is quite all right with moi.


    CoCo Cadet

  • journey-on

    Maybe you're looking at JWD more like a club rather than just a discussion board.

    Just be yourself, don't take criticism too hard, and continue presenting your thoughts openly

    and honestly and allow others to do the same. People are like flowers in a garden. Some wilt

    with too much water and others thrive in it. Some can't take the heat of direct sun, and for others

    the hotter the better. Some like the fertilizer piled on, and others shy away from it. It's all good.

  • Pwned

    I can't stand the term fluff alert either, but then again i find the e-hugs annoying too, so maybe i'm one of the meanies. if you think this board is tough check out or, the 'rudeness' on this site is nothing, but on those boards no one takes it seriously.

  • changeling

    CoCo, you know I love you and am honered to have you on my bandwagon of warm, fuzzyness!

    David said:

    "That being said it is imporatant on some topics to challenge those whose assertions are open to question, the trick is to do this whilest being kind and dignified."

    I agree, and by promoting niceness, I am in no way saying to keep your mouth shut when someting needs to be said, or to shy away from controversial issues. You all know I like to stick my neck out! LOL

    changeling :)

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