SeaWolf - my points are valid! Why do you presume I am bitter? And why do you refer to my vocabulary - I'm cutting to the chase and saying it how it is just like the 'big dick' you hear so much of? Don't you acknowledge the implications of female sexual aspirations on men as a whole and how this precipitates more serious problems in society. I propose all men set out wanting to LOVE and BE LOVED but that the responses and expectations placed upon them by females creates a very obvious widespread situation in society with large number of males having poor self esteem - hence no outlet for the love in their hearts! And my 'equal' analogy of men finding women with extra tight clams almost irresistible alluded to what you hear said amongst many women to the point that it makes some blush - chemical response! Imagine how women would feel if in the company of men this was a common topic and how that would impact on how they felt in an intimate situation! I don't see why women would get pissed off at this if indeed they are as loving and in favor of equality as is claimed! The topic is about WHY men cannot love! I feel some are unable to tackle the issue with any intellectual rigour!
Why Men Cannot Love
by freydi 185 Replies latest jw friends
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aquagirl
Silly thread,GREAT h.b website tho!!!!thanks!!!!
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mrsjones5
See what I mean >I'm the general and your back in personell again!
Darling I really think you don't know the difference.
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sweetstuff
SeaWolf - my points are valid! Why do you presume I am bitter? And why do you refer to my vocabulary - I'm cutting to the chase and saying it how it is just like the 'big dick' you hear so much of? Don't you acknowledge the implications of female sexual aspirations on men as a whole and how this precipitates more serious problems in society. I propose all men set out wanting to LOVE and BE LOVED but that the responses and expectations placed upon them by females creates a very obvious widespread situation in society with large number of males having poor self esteem - hence no outlet for the love in their hearts! And my 'equal' analogy of men finding women with extra tight clams almost irresistible alluded to what you hear said amongst many women to the point that it makes some blush - chemical response! Imagine how women would feel if in the company of men this was a common topic and how that would impact on how they felt in an intimate situation! I don't see why women would get pissed off at this if indeed they are as loving and in favor of equality as is claimed! The topic is about WHY men cannot love! I feel some are unable to tackle the issue with any intellectual rigour!
Ok, let's break this down, you believe that men are unable to love because of the expectations of women upon them. So, in that is the case, women cannot love eithe, after all, we are expected to cook, clean, be sexual goddesses, never have any preferences or desires of our own, give love, nuturing without ever thinking of ourselves. Women have just as many if not MORE expectations upon them by society. How many commericals feature hot women selling products and how many feature hot men? Way more women. The porn industry is geared towards who? Men.
Are you kidding? Or do you really believe men have the short end of the stick in society? No pun intended. It's socially acceptable for an older man to date a much younger woman, in fact his buddies often envy him, yet if a woman does the same, people tisk tisk. You need to pull your head out of the sand R. and realize that what you really don't like is that for the first time in history there is a more equal playing field and its only going to get more equal. Men have judged women based on their looks, bodies and aging process for ions. Now that women are saying, hey well you know what I want? All of a sudden, we are the heartless monsters imasculating men causing them to be unable to "love". ROFL pleezzzzzzzzzzzzz
As for women's sexual aspirations on men causing serious problems in society, wow, that one gave me a real chuckle. Not so fun when its your body being judged and compared as being worthy enough is it? Tit for tat R. The tables have turned and it is about darn time. We are more vocal than ever about what we want, what we like and what we don't. Here's a newsflash for you, we women have been subjected to that, FOREVER. Yet, we can still love. Funny how that works isn't it?
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mrsjones5
You go grrl
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R.Crusoe
I agree that love is greater than just sex between two people but for young ones it is a worrying aspect to their development as functioning adults as part of the bigger picture - they are very impressionable and pick up virtually all subliminal messages! I recall some aged 4yrs old!!To finish off the point I picked on as mentioned by Mrs Jones which you say was a humorous point (no offense to MsJ -she's being the way most women I have ever met behave)! I made it clear that similar humor would not be so well received if it alluded to female genitallia . And it is more significant an issue than you concede! You already know how it makes you feel when your own self esteem is low and you criticizes your own body - let alone the parts that play a key role in the act of sex! Imagine if that became a primary male focus of attraction rather than breasts - or figure or an extra worry? So I'm sure you know how a person can feel less than wholesome with a partner who does not give them the signals to confirm you to be sexually fulfilling as well as a fantastic partner to share life with! I suggest one who does not have these aspects in their relationship on a two way level has never experienced 'love' in the way others have and also that this effects other aspects of that persons life more than you imagine! I mean the most intimate sexual aspects of someones life should be a celebration of life both look forward to and want from each other and not one which leaves one feeling unsure or inadequate. And because subliminal messages are so widespread in our culture many younger men are awaiting female confirmation that they are MORE THAN ADEQUATE in liberating their own self esteem to function as you might expect any 'normal male' to. Men are crying out to be made to feel this way by the woman in their lives. A man needs to feel he is wanted for who he is - which includes his body (especially so) and if he senses rejection will naturally begin to wonder who indeed he could ever pleasure sexually sufficiently well for him to feel adequate (maybe some men even get brainwashed into thinking they can only please virgins or similar due to this inadequacy they feel with this view that women prefer larger men)! It is the same for a female no doubt. So this debate about men wanting to love and be loved is as much about the female feeling the same acceptance as it is about the male. And I agree that two loving individuals will often work most of this out without ever thinking too deeply about it. Sadly that is less the norm than I would like it to be as sexual problems in societies the world over show us. I appreciate your points about females having lots of feelings of oppression and would not take any pleasure in seeing any of you suffer. I would not presume to suggest what motivates yours of Mrs Jones heart in respect to this debate. Somehow your posts infer you know everything I think about women. If so your thinking is off cue in that regard! Sorry about the size of my post but I decided to wrap up a few loose ends of varying length!
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mrsjones5
Paragraphs please...not worth reading if it's hard to read
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eclipse
And I get in trouble when I start respecting women.
I think what you get in trouble with, freyd, is YOUR definition of respect.
Below is the definition of respect.
Can you please tell me what you find so difficult about respecting the women you love? (your mother, wife, sister, daughter)
Love and respect go hand in hand. You cannot truly love anyone, unless you respect them.
What is so wrong with holding a woman in high esteem or to honour her?
It is men/boys who are insecure, who feel they are inept, inadequate, or impotent & who are afraid, who do not respect women.
Are you that kind of man, Freyd? Are you, R. Crusoe?
re·spect
–noun 1. a particular, detail, or point (usually prec. by in): to differ in some respect. 2. relation or reference: inquiries with respect to a route. 3. esteem for or a sense of the worth or excellence of a person, a personal quality or ability, or something considered as a manifestation of a personal quality or ability: I have great respect for her judgment. 4. deference to a right, privilege, privileged position, or someone or something considered to have certain rights or privileges; proper acceptance or courtesy; acknowledgment: respect for a suspect's right to counsel; to show respect for the flag; respect for the elderly. 5. the condition of being esteemed or honored: to be held in respect. 6. respects, a formal expression or gesture of greeting, esteem, or friendship: Give my respects to your parents. 7. favor or partiality. 8. Archaic . a consideration. –verb (used with object)
9. to hold in esteem or honor: I cannot respect a cheat. 10. to show regard or consideration for: to respect someone's rights. 11. to refrain from intruding upon or interfering with: to respect a person's privacy. 12. to relate or have reference to. -
R.Crusoe
Hey Mrs J - I don't know how to paragraph through Firefox or quote > asked a few times but no help! Qn Am I some kinda guy that doesn't hold women in high esteem! Coz they get impotent! I can only speak for myself - a male! I hear a lot of psychologist speak and some are pretty good (Dorothy Rowe books) but even she makes so many statements which are like pouring gasoline over a good dinner. Completely ruins the whole picture. I've read some of her stuff and was blown away at certain insights she had but then she would make a statement of absolute fact about something I know is untrue! Now any student reading this will take it as read and even quote her as acceptably recognized. Psychologists will then use this on people in general. Ditto the WTBTS if you catch my drift. And so this respect for women/ impotence thing is not a globally true statement. So unless the guy finds a woman detestable and sees himself as higher stuff then what you say is unfounded. I don't even think it applies to the majority but I can't be sure. I have always been nervous about gaining a womans confidence. I have always wanted to impress her but have been unsure how to for ones I'm attracted to. Religious constraints have done me NO favors in this regard! I have always viewed a woman I'm attracted to as above me and if she accepts me I become her equal! It ain't happened! So I ask you - how is it a good thing for a man to view women in this way? It seems to make him submissive when the expectation on the male is to make the moves - so a puzzle really for women who want a man with this attitude! No hidden agendas here -straight talk!
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wanderlustguy
I have always been nervous about gaining a womans confidence. I have always wanted to impress her but have been unsure how to for ones I'm attracted to. Religious constraints have done me NO favors in this regard! I have always viewed a woman I'm attracted to as above me and if she accepts me I become her equal! It ain't happened! So I ask you - how is it a good thing for a man to view women in this way? It seems to make him submissive when the expectation on the male is to make the moves - so a puzzle really for women who want a man with this attitude! No hidden agendas here -straight talk!
Straight talk. The problem is you, period, but you have to listen to the whole "straight talk". Problem 1 is that you think everyone else has the problem...they don't. Problem 2 is you assume incorrectly about what women want, or some anyway.
If you think you are beneath someone, well, they can see it, especially a woman. That's where confidence comes in. If you know already that you can end up alone with a woman and make her forget the rest of the world exists while with you, then no problem. It seems you don't know that...so that's something to fix. How do you do that? Learn more about people and yourself and why we do what we do. Get good hobbies, learn about things besides beer, football, and for goodness sakes, never, ever say clam again. Not even ordering food...just don't. It seems to me that you need to develop yourself and get comfortable with who you are and stop trying to meet women, just stop it. I think you'll be suprised. Women love a busy man that has no time for them, but begins to make time.
Once you have the confidence, a woman will give you the permission to make the moves and you will actually be able to tell it's happening and know what to do, and also be able to tell when you need to shut up and leave a woman the hell alone. Once she's done with you, that's it, it's so over.
My nickel,
WLG
