are we inactive or what?

by inactive? 252 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

  • inactive?
    inactive?

    I would like someone to discuss some issues I have. I understand ALL are welcome here, so i am sure some elders or former elders could help me. I was a pioneer for 7 years, before that I was a regular auxiliarry pioneer for 3 years, I have been a witness for 17 years.

    My husband(pioneer 3 years, regular aux. 1 year, witness 17 years) and daughter(pioneer 2 years, reg. aux. 2 years, witness 6 years) were pioneering also when 3 years ago my daughter (then 21) decided to get disfellowshipped, and that is when things got weird. First, the elders removed my husband and I as pioneers, for no explainable reason. Well, we were given a reason: 'because we were "pillars" of the congregation for so long the shock of our daughter leaving the truth would put my husband and my life into question, so it was decided it would be easier on congregation if we were to "voluntarilly" step down first so when the announcement about our daughter was made it would make more sense.' I was so distraut anyway, my Dad died a couple of months before, which set my daughter into the tailspin that led to her disfellowshipping, so I was unsure about if the elders were really taking things into account and trying to help her or just sweeping her under the rug. Now we were being swept aside as well.

    After being told that our reaction to all this would prove ourselves, we stood firm, and on that wretched day of the announcement of my daughters disfellowshipping, my husband and I sat in the second row like we always did. The elders kept asking if we were sure we wanted to be present. We said, 'we did nothing wrong, we are making our stand'. They put it off and put it off, finally just before the song, they announced it, i looked the elder in the face, the whole congregation gasped and cried and could not sing. So for 6 months we never missed meeting, or service, and continued our pioneer hours. In the meantime, slowly but surely, the shunning began. No one called, no one came over, no one would work in service with us, we were asked to sit in the back of the hall, my husbands priviledges were removed, then the 7th month, we were told our time would no longer be accepted, the next month they stopped giving us publications, and the next month were told we should go elsewhere.

    We continued putting in time, they told us to stop writing out a time slip, we continued cleaning the hall every Sunday after the 4 congregations finish meetings ( we do that to this day, and they are purposeley extra messy, but it is the only priveledge we have left) We have not been to a meeting for 2 years now. (even tho we still clean the hall) They started locking up the literature so we would not 'steal' any, so we quit donating.

    They found out about a friend of mine 1200 miles away sending my literature (she used to be in our hall) they wrote to her elders to stop it. My health is shot, my nerves are shot. We obey Jehovah, we still 'preach' but I cannot bring myself to invite any to a meeting ( since we are not there) We see our daughter rarely(usually when she needs something) Our mailman is an elder and has warned us he sees her car at our house too often.

    We want to move away, but are afraid of what the elders may write to our new hall. I believe in Jehovah and his word the Bible, and the literature is helpful in study, we are still servants of Jehovah, they cannot take that from us. But the new rumors are starting, we are in the way.(we talked to the CO and were raked over the coals for it) This is where we are, will someone please just talk to us and be encouraging, or explain, or something?

    Thank you;

    Inactive?

  • oompa
    oompa

    Your story is so strange in many ways that we will need some answers before you get really good advice. It would be VERY important to ask all of your elders, perhaps at one time why and how you could have ever been treated this way, especially the not turning in time and getting literature....this is not normal unless you have been extremely openly apostate...but you did not indicate this. Why would you be going out in serivce still? Why would you want to invite anyone to the hall even if you arent't there? This congo could be nuts, or you could be...I'm not sure. You still clean the bathrooms? But don't attend meetings? If the elders would not want you at their hall...they would not say to go to another one!.....see what I mean.....hope you see a lot of this does not make any sense....sorry...oompa.

    ps...you need to love your daughter and spend as much time as possible with her no matter what.....my son is df'd

  • Gill
    Gill

    Wake up and smell the coffee!

    Jesus said you would know his people because they would have love amongst themselves!

    And you still want to be a JW!

    Perhaps you don't want to wake up!

    Watchtower land is a fantasty! They deal in lies and sadly mind control!

    Their treatment of you and yours is a total disgrace!

    I am sorry about how they have treated you but I've heard equally disturbing stories.

    It's time to move on.

  • zack
    zack

    If you haven't been to a meeting in 2 years and haven't turned in a time slip in that time, then you are inactive.

    If you haven't been to a meeting in two years and yet still clean the bathrooms, then you are nuts. You don't need my guidance, you need therapy. Please go get some.

  • inactive?
    inactive?

    I am unsure of what else to tell you. The elders will not talk with us. The last of my husbands studies ( 1 year pioneer, 4 year in truth) was just told to stop coming over or lose his MS position. He came over just the other day asking us to tell him what is up, we told him all we know. We are not being apostate, it is the way I told you. That is the other difficulty, in this town of 25 congregations and 3000 witnesses, we have no where to go thankx to the rumor mill, they all say what you said, that we must be apostates or crazy. My daughter lives her own life and comes over when she wants something, and we always help her out. I do not know what else to say.

  • Gill
    Gill

    I am sorry for your situation, Inactive!

    I am sorry to perhaps come over harsh BUT you may be the victims of some heavy and unpleasant slander and perhaps no one will tell you what has been said about you!

    could you or your husband have been accussed of something and with your not knowing you are not able to defend yourselves?

    Sounds pretty nasty but bullying does happen as does slander and gossip!

    Perhaps you need to move away from these monstrous people! If you are really sure there is nothing you could have done wrong you MUST move on with your lives and stay away from this cult!

    Good luck to you and I am sorry for your situation!

  • inactive?
    inactive?

    Remember, we are not inactive by choice, the elders quit accepting our time, and we have tried going to others halls, but the rumor mill got there before us. By the way, to clarify, we have not been to a meeting in OUR cong. for 2 years, but have not been to a meeting at all in one year. Oh, by the way, the year all this hit the fan, we missed the district convention because no one in this city of 400,000 would take us the 90 miles even when we offered to pay gas, the elders told us to rely on ourselves. That hurt cause we always took some one with us to share our room and ride who was less fortunate than us to every convention we went too. Our 22 year old car bit the dust and we could not make it. Needless to say, we did not even try again after that. There is more, i tried to cover as much as i could. We want to remain servants of Jehovah, but I am afraid that is beginning to not nessasarily mean being a Jehovah Witness

  • sweetstuff
    sweetstuff

    Ok, I read your post and I have to admit, I'm a bit baffled by it, you were not disfellowshipped, your daughter was, you were told you should go elsewhere? Now, that does not seem to be typically JW at all. Normally, they want you to feel like crap so you come crawling back. Hence the shunning. What parts of the story have you left out here? You haven't attended meetings in two years because they dont' want you there, yet you clean the hall?

    First of all, what part of the world is this in? Cause this does not sound remotely like something you would see happen in North America at least, the whole purpose of shunning, is to encourage the wrongdoers, (gag) to repent and come back to the congregation. If what you are saying is true, and honestly, I find this very dubious...why on God's green earth would you want to be part of an organization that shuns you for no good reason? Loving brotherhood, pffttt. Yeah right.

    If God's holy spirit was upon them, do you think he would allow this kind of behavior from his people? The bible says, there is more rejoicing in heaven over one who has sinned and repents than one who has never sinned. Is this the mentality you see with JW's? Or is it all about crime and punishment so they can feel superior? I agree with what Zack wrote, get some therapy, do alot of research.

  • Jim_TX
    Jim_TX

    Your story _does_ sound crazy...

    What sounds even more crazy is your needing their literature to serve your god (Jehovah?).

    You only need your bible, and each other. Keep your family close.

    Ignore the idiots that are shunnung you. Live your lives.

    If that JW mailman ever bothers you - file a complaint with the U.S. Post Office - preferrably the branch where he works out of. Two can play that game. He may get reprimanded - or lose his job. Let him know how it feels to be kicked out of some place. (Seriously - the U.S. government has a thing about not mixing religion and government.)

    You have been set free from the JW organization without being DFed or DAing. Consider it a blessing and live your lives free from their organizational rules.

    I wish you well.

    Regards,

    Jim TX

  • Gill
    Gill

    Shed a little more light here, please!

    What was your daughter DF'd for? How often do you still see her?

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