What exactly would you say her perspective is??
HELP! Trying to convince my parents I am going to meetings!
by stillAwitness 106 Replies latest jw friends
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AuldSoul
LittleToe: Satire, hyperbole and other literary devices aside, and with respect, I don't think you are looking at this situation from her perspective...
Looking at a situation from someone else's perspective does not require condoning their perspective. It only requires seeing from that vantage point. I have done so.
Her perspective is severely warped due to being right in the middle of a highly emotional situation that is difficult to navigate. While in the situation, like kayaking through whitewater, seeing the way out of the rapids is nearly impossible. Fear of the unknown may cause someone to make rash choices that will have lifelong consequences; consequences they might rationally choose to avoid if someone whose gone down those waters before warns them ahead of time.
I daresay you'd have no trouble spotting the lunacy of ignoring the counsel of others who've gone before or, worse still, premptively rejecting it unheard.
I admit I am not looking at the situation only from her perspective. I would be a very poor adviser indeed if I did so; I could only advise what she wants to hear. I am curious to consider your response to Toreador's question.
Respectfully,
AuldSoul -
toreador
I admit I am not looking at the situation only from her perspective. I would be a very poor adviser indeed if I did so.
I agree 100 percent! I am curious as to know exactly what Little Toe thinks her perspective is.
Toreador
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avidbiblereader
Why who are fooling?
ABR
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LittleToe
Toredor:Emotional survival.
If you genuinely can't see it from what I've already written then I genuinely have no hope of explaining it...
Even if it should later prove to be that individually she was a complete and utter troll, there are many others who have traversed that land and are in touch with the things being expressed here.
While ethically and socially it is usually the best route to be honest, especially when building a relationship, the reality of life is that honesty is not always the best policy, regardless of how gullible we might be in still believing that to be the case in every instance. Children intuitively know that to be the case. We drum it out of them, but when punishment and a blame-culture continue into adult life, with the whole structure of the "honesty is best" ethos falling around our ears, sometimes we realise that there are occasions when we are doing ourselves a disservice to be so blinkered and black and white in our thinking.
I'm not attempting to condone lying, I just understand why some might find it a preferable route in the short-term. Since as a rule lies tend to eventually betray themselves, using it longterm is going to be pretty foolish...
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jgnat
Sometimes honesty is overrated. My adult children made sure they were at least five years after the event before they told me they drove an unlicensed, uninsured car....from one end of town to the other....with one learner's license between them...in a blizzard. Apparently they hadn't heard of tow trucks. By waiting a few years to confess, they saved themselves a rant, and me, a heart attack.
What I found missing in stillawitnesses' original fading plan, is a thinking-through of the consequences. Eventually, all lies come to an end. If nothing else, this thread helped her do some thinking on that.
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toreador
I can see what you are saying little toe, such as in the event that your wife asks you if she looks fat in this dress and you say no but what this particular individual was asking is sure to be found out and could cause many ramifications in the future when they find out the truth, which they surely will.
If one knows for a fact one will be eventually be caught up in an all out lie, I think it best to tell the truth or refrain from saying anything in the first place.
Thank you for your comments,
Toreador