Did You Ever REALLY Love "Jehovah God"?

by minimus 53 Replies latest jw friends

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  Atpeaceatlast

  With all the love bombing I initially received when I first came to the KH, I actually thought the people there cared about me, so I thought this was God's place on earth. I really thought I loved Jehovah, but it was the Watchtower I was infatuated with. Then one day after hearing too many prayers closing with underserved kindness, I closed my prayer (in my mind) with a "Well, f.... you, then, Jehovah!" It was then I realized that I was worshipping the Watchtower and not really loving Jehovah at all, so I left.

  I don't know if there is a god in the universe, but the real one has to be bigger, smarter and more loving than the stupid Watchtower.
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  fullofdoubtnow

  I thought I did, and tried very hard to love him, but looking back, I guess I was mostly in fear of him.
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  mrsjones5

  I was born in and can't say that I ever loved jehovah. I think I numbed myself to the whole thing just to survive.
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  Tyrone van leyen

  Well minimus, good question. When I was 6 years old my mother gave me a terrible haircut and I complained about it so my mother sent me to my room. I saw no escape from this perceived injustice so I proceeded to pray to Jehovah and waited. Nothing happened so I decided If god wouldn't help me I would pray to Satan. Guess what, he did nothing either so I concluded that neither of them existed. There was no love evident to me either. However as I got older and read the bible myself I was drawn to the gospels and greatly admired him. Even felt he should be given more impotance than Jehovah. However,despite my love of a good story theres the ugly reality of life. I chose to be good and reject evil I had to do this as I was in a state of phycosis and couldn't trust myself or god. I would now describe myself as a secular humanist.
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  J-ex-W

  Absolutely. Still do pray to him for encouragement and boldness, but this time in support of a life well lived, a life that demonstrates appreciation by experiencing joyfully the whole world full of people and things he has provided for our enjoyment...by appreciating the variety and beauty among humankind just as much as among foliage.

  I guess what I'm saying is, I'm letting the Borg take away my faith in a wonderful creator--however we may understand him/ it/ whatever--even if they have built up and then destroyed my faith in the GB, etc. I still look around and think, there must be a reason we are here, and there must be something/ someone behind it all. I may not presently know, or ever know, what that something is...but I can believe it is for a good reason, a worthwhile one, a try to live my life in like manner.

  Absolutely, I've loved Jehovah...my creator...our creator.... Absolutely, I still do. Whatever falsehoods man may have built up around the origins of our existence--it doesn't change those origins. I appreciate, prodigiously, the fact that I'm here!
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  minimus

  Tyrone, you were quite the little free thinker, weren't you?....J--ex--W, I too have similar feelings but often I have mixed emotions.
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  BlackSwan of Memphis

  no

  Looking at the whole thing I don't think it's a matter of love. I think it's a matter of obedience. I obeyed this God because I was taught that if I didn't I would be destroyed at Armageddon. I have a difficult time understanding the entire concept of loving God at all anymore. That's not to say I don't believe it is possible, I just don't understand it.

  To me, God is so abstract. Almost like saying I love Oxygen.
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  J-ex-W

  CORRECTION:

  I'm NOT letting them take away my faith in a creator. [I omitted the word 'not' last time.] Oops!
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  J-ex-W

  Minimus-- Would you mind elaborating? What do you mean about having mixed emotions? Mixed emotions telling you what?
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  avidbiblereader

  I thought I did when I was a witness and realize there were times when I think I was close to Jah. The witnesses destroyed my faith for about 2 years, they have completely destroyed my faith in organized religion but now that I have turned to only the Bible, I too believe that we are His Creation, there is more than this life, as I turn to Him in prayer as I read His Word and during my daily life. Now I KNOW that I love Jehovah, no we can't figure out everything, but to me with all this unbelief, harsh fellings and skeptisim in the Bible. The organization is indeed just that, an organization, but not from the true God, who does love us and one day will hold an accountant to those who have stumbled and hurt so many good hearted people.
  Matt 18:6,7

  6 and whoever may cause to stumble one of those little ones who are believing in me, it is better for him that a weighty millstone may be hanged upon his neck, and he may be sunk in the depth of the sea. 7 `Wo to the world from the stumbling-blocks! for there is a necessity for the stumbling-blocks to come, but wo to that man through whom the stumbling-block doth come!