All white girls are.........

by Gill 122 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  Sparkplug

  I am sorry you have to go thru this. Unfortunately, racism is very strong here in the US. It does work both ways. Being of mixed racial descent, I tend to get it from both sides. And unfortunate as it seems I often get it from the places least expected. I have learned to be patient and for the most part look past it for a bit. Soon enough they come around whatever side is sending out the negative. It is as they have to test you out a bit. And too, the older generation takes a lot longer. they have seen too much and really we have not as a US nation started fixing this gap but within the last 100 years.

  I am sure with the State Zimbabwe (SP) is in, that it has to be very difficult to get past things you may have seen prior. So with that said, give them some time and be very accepting of him (if you want to be) and hopefully she comes around and he will ride out the storm. And if she never does, it will be her loss. I only see the unacceptance splitting her from him and the 'loves" will move closer.

  We all as a nation and as a world have come so far..and some days it feels as if not at all.

  Decki
• 

  monkeyshine

  There was a Caribbean lady at our hall who felt the same way about white chicks. I think with her it was not so much that she didn't like them but more along the lines of she felt it was an insult to black women for her sons not to marry one.

  Maybe this is more prevalent with people from outside of the U.S. for this reason. Now, I could be wrong of course, but maybe a black woman form a black nation sees her race differently than one from the U.S. where it is more of a mixed population. It would be the equivalent of a white mother who was from a country where there were only white people. She is not comfortable with mixed marriage because she is not exposed to it as some others are.

  This sister would tell my mom (My mom is white and they were VERY good friends so this sister didn't hate white people.) that her reasoning was she felt that in today's society black men who are successful will sometimes marry a white girl as a sort of "trophy". She said it was an insult to black women.

  Now, if I were a black woman and I saw this happening, I would be insulted as well. Of course there is nothing wrong with mixed couples but only if it is done for love of the inner person. What I don't approve of (not like you care) is someone liking another race just because they are that race. This is discriminating on a different level. If that person wasn't that color would they have gotten a chance to date you?

  I've known white girls who would only date black guys and vice versa. I've also known black guys who would only date white girls and vice versa. I believe that what is on the inside should be the deciding factor not to have a status symbol or be cool or whatever reason.

  Before I get misunderstood, let me say that I have NO problem with mixed couples who love each other and also NO problems with any other race. If you knew me you would know that I'm as liberal as it gets when it comes to race. My one sister in law is black and my other sister in law is Puerto Rican. I grew up in Jersey so I am well mixed in with everyone and I like it that way.
• 

  mrsjones5

  I know what you're saying Monkeyshine. I have heard a few black men to say that they prefer white women because they don't want nappy headed kids or black women are too loud or you can't take a black woman out in public without them acting a fool. I have seen a few black men fall all over themselves to get to a white woman. But it goes both ways, I was once on a date with a very fine black man and a white woman kept hitting on him in front of me (no I didn't slap the girl down). But after saying that, I don't have a problem with interracial dating, my brother is married to a fine woman (in appearance and manner) who happens to be white. I guess what I don't like about the black football (or basketball, take your pick) player and the trophy white wife thing is it just smack of self-hate and hostility towards the black woman.

  But ya know what? I just love seeing a black woman with a white man. Something about that just tickles me. And some black men have a problem with that! Maybe the same ones who are chasing after white women?

  Josie
• 

  mrsjones5

  double post
• 

  MidwichCuckoo

  Your daughter's 'Mum-In-Law' (as a Native of Africa) perhaps only perceives 'whites' from second-hand stereotype tales, not personal experience - I personally think this is ignorance and not racisim.
• 

  lovelylil

  I only dated Puerto Rican guys before I was married and then married one. It was just my preference and what I preferred. I think I like the physical features of spanish men and the accents too. I remember my dad telling me years before I met my hubby that he would never accept any Puerto Rican grandchildren. I just said "too bad because you are probably going to have some". I used to be very independent. My family was Shocked when I became a witness. Even though I was never an example of a totally submissive wife.

  Anyway, my dad fell in love with both my kids. And even though he was a horrible abusive dad to us kids (he was bi-polar and on drugs at the time), he cleaned up his act by the time my kids were born. My son was very close to my dad and we lost him to cancer about 3 years ago. My son still says how much he misses grandpa. Lilly
• 

  monkeyshine

  I personally think this is ignorance and not racisim.

  Your right Cuckoo, but ignorance is the seed of racism.
• 

  MidwichCuckoo

  Sorry Monkeyshine - I was trying to distinguish. I know what you mean. There is no excuse for today's racism. I remembeer years ago my grandmother didn't 'understand' black people - and didn't see one till she was in her 70s. Living in a very English community (there were NO black/ethnic pupils at the school I attended), the only experience of anyone of a different race was through stories and stereotypes.

  I imagine that gill's 'in-law' is ignorant, never having met a white person and so is only relying on stereotypes.
• 

  Dune

  Everyone has misconceptions about interracial relationships.

  I'm a black guy and the last few of my interests have been white women from my school. Most of their friends like me (sometime too much). But i've had a love/hate relationship with their parents. I cant really blame them considering that we live in a racists and prejudiced society. All i can do is be myself and show them that i'm not what they pegged me as.

  I have a carribean upbringing so most of my family expects me to marry with someone of the same nationality. They'd probably get angry if i dated a jamaican, because even if they're black, thats not our nationality. Lots of families (white and black) have their own picturesque imaginings on what they're childrens marriages/relationships are going to be like, and they usually dont like it when the image doesnt come true.

  I dont know what part of Africa his mother is in, but she's probably has her own prejudices from what she's experienced from western influences.
• 

  Country Girl

  Despite what "politically correct" commentaries exist on television, newspapers, or the Internet, we *all* are victims or perpetrators of race discrimination in one way or another. I think to villainize it is wrong. To acknowledge and go forward with knowledge is a good thing; to talk about it makes it real, and subject to discussion, which is always a good thing. It's not good to just look at a thing like this and say "Well, that's totally wrong."

  What a person feels as a result of the way they were raised, or the way they think, is not a bad thing. To challenge those beliefs with knowledge and experience is something of a challenge, but can be accomplished, and can achieve good results.

  My own Papa was against me marrying anyone but an Anglo. To me, that meant nobody black skinned. Carribean, Spanish, whatever. As long as they weren't black. I married a Hispanic male. He didn't LIKE it, but he, as well as my family, learned to love him. We had a child and my family adores him. So, really, even though it caused problems in the initial engagement.. everything worked out.

  CG