I totally can appreciate where you are coming from. No one wants to believe this is not the truth. But if it is the truth, it will withstand a examination. I felt I owed it Jehovah to get to the bottom of it. I truely wanted to find proof for 607. I was not looking to leave the organization. I was very content the way things were. But because things didn't seem to add up, like I said in my story, it kept haunting me. I went through the whole knowlege book with a lady who I taught the whole 607 issue to to support all the other teachings. I was in a real quandry, every time I went in service, I was scarred to death I would come acrossed someone who may bring this up to me. What would I do? Lie and defend a lie?? Or would I sheepishly say to the householder, "You are right about 607, but what does it matter?" I knew better. I knew why it would matter. In time I came to the point where I thought, "Who am I serving anyway? A organization, or Jehovah God?" I knew the organization would demand me to support their teaching wether right or wrong. However, eventually my conscience would not allow me to do that. I knew that if I went against my conscience on this it would be a sin for me. How could I knowingly teach a lie and expect to be in his favor. Afterall isn't that what we used to say about people at the door.."They want to have their ears tickled." ," They don't care about the truth.", " They are satisfied and content with the religion they were raised in", " They don't want to examine their faith." In time I began to feel stronger and stronger that I would not deliberatly teach something I knew to be untrue. I knew how much Jehovah hates liars, since Saten is the father of the lie. After I found the 607 date to be wrong, I began to question all the other things that I had always thought to be true. One by one I examined them. I still am researching. I was not easily swayed either. And I admire your "stuborness" as you say, for not easily giving up what you believe to be true. I never took anyones word or explanation as truth. I thoroughly examined all the evidences for my self. One by one it was clear what the facts really are. I really suggest you read the gospel accounts of, Matthew, Mark, Luke and John. You will see that only two things were required of those early Christians to have Jehovahs favor. Before Jesus came, the people were burdened down with exhausting laws and regulations, many, added by the Scribes and Pharasees. But when Jesus came he said his load was light. Only two things he required. To have faith and love. When you read the gospel accounts it is so very comforting. And it is very clear. Jesus doesn't have double standards. He doesn't use a different rod to measure with now than he did then. What was the one thing the man dying next to Jesus had that moved Jesus to tell him he would be with him in paradise? It was his faith. Jesus didn't say well, its too bad you never went to any meetings, or never preached. No, he showed faith, and that gained Jesus favor. After Jesus died they tried to bring back many of the laws that Jesus death covered. Remember the circumcision issue?? Anyway, I really believe now that it is alot more simple than I ever believed, and knew before. Faith and love. Posessing these two qualities, would guide your life in the proper way. Jesus's way. When you think about it, by making meetings and preaching a requirement for salvation, you are really saying you have to earn salvation. But salvation is a FREE gift. Otherwise if you had to work for it it would not be free. It is like saying Jesus sacrafice wasn't quite good enough. By having love and faith, it would move you to tell others about Jesus and what his life means for each of us personally. When you see ones miss meetings and are not out in service, what is the first thing you think of? Wow, I hope they get their act together before the end comes! WHY? Because we are taught that you must "earn" your salvation. Faith without works is dead is often used. True faith without LOVE, and the works of love, would nulify your faith. When you start thinking out of the box so to speak, you realise how many "wordly" ones you once shunned for not being part of the organization, really do show love. True many don't. But I believe that when you are a Witness you don't allow yourself to see the love, and the good people do in the name of Jesus and God. True they don't say "Jehovah", but they know his name, many using Yaweh. Now I see all of humanity as my brothers. Many could care less about God and Jesus. Many don't know him..but many do. Does anyone have all the answers? No. But one thing I have come to learn, the Society surely doesn't either. I think bottom line it comes down to those two very important things. And of course they will keep you motivated to have a close relationship with Jehovah and Jesus. You asked me if I was happy. The answer varies from day to day. Am I happy with my decision to leave? YES! Do I feel guilt? NO! But after a lifetime spent believing certain things that I now know are untrue, I find it very sad somtimes. But for the most part I am happy. I am not DF'D, or DA'D. My family back East just recently, last week found out how we feel.. and it pains me to say they have also cut us off. The name calling isn't fun and does make me unhappy. However, being a Christian isn't always easy. Look at what Jesus had to endure. Being called a Blasphemer, the disciples were also called Apostates, yet they remained faithful. I have done nothing wrong. I feel no guilt for standing up for truth. So.. bottom line for me is I MUST worship with Jehovah with Spirit and Truth, otherwise my worship is not acceptable to him. No matter how hard it has been, or will get, my relationship with him and his son is what matters most. I sincerily hope you continue to prove to yourself what the truth really is. Remember, it is not wrong to examine what you believe. And it is not wrong to question. Don't forget the power of prayer. Jehovah will help you and get you through your questions. He will also give you the courage to do the right thing. But don't feel you have to rush into any snap decisions. Take it slow and be thorough. As for us, we don't have any desire to join any other faith. One other thing.. please read the context of the scriptures you are researching. By doing this you will discover the true meaning of the scriptures. You will be amazed as to how much more you will discover. I wish you well.
Sincerely your friend,