A bit reluctant

by saki2fifty 148 Replies latest jw friends

  • Country Girl
    Country Girl



    Maybe not. The fact that you *are* here is a great testament to the fact that you feel something is not right, and you just want to find out what. The JW's *do* urge all their followers to "keep seeking first the Kingdom" and to examine their faith to "make sure of all things." Could it be that you have been trying to make sure of all things, and the numbers just didn't add up?

    I am not going to make fun of you, insult you, or "disfellowship" you. You came here for a reason. You can go, or you can stay here, although I wish you'd stay. Obviously, the religion means a whole lot to you, and you have found true happiness there. I congratulate you. Obviously, others have not found true happiness there, and choose to congregate with others that have had similar experiences in the organization. The reason that we come to web sites such as this is that this version of the truth has taken up our whole lives for a certain period of time, and the effects are just not that easy to get over. We like to be with others who share our experiences, just as victims of crime sometimes have support groups. We all share a certain thing: the commonality of having been involved in an authoritarian religion for a certain amount of time in our life.

    The religion says it is the "true" religion and the "pure" religion, but all it did for me was make me feel unworthy and dirty, and God says that I am neither. For me there is great hypocrisy in staying in a religion professing to be the Truth when all of its predictions/prophecies have repeatedly failed.

    I am glad you are here, and I hope you find what you're looking for, if you come back at all. You are very welcome and I do hope you stay and look around.


  • Wasanelder Once
    Wasanelder Once


    What really matters is what you think. When I read your post it seems you have held back from baptism for some reason. Perhaps it is because you do not believe all of the aspects of the Truth? Most that I know who attend but do not commit, want to be a part of the social structure that you find comfortable for yourself and your family. I can see that, we need structure in our lives. Certainly a family does.

    The fact that you posted here and have been reading this site shows you wonder what's going on out here in the non JW world. Why would anyone leave so safe a place with so safe a feeling? I'm sure your father's words about Silentlambs has made you aware of the sharks that troll the Kingdom Hall waters. It may not be as safe for your family as you think.

    You sound like a caring and attentive parent so its a hurdle you can surmount. If you are truly happy there, why set a half-assed example for your kids? I never understood that. If this is the "Truth" and thier everlasting life is involved, why wouldn't you become more than a bystander?

    I'd think through why you haven't taken the plunge. I would assume you want the feeling without submitting yourself to the organization.

    I wish you a healthy, happy family and clear thinking on all these issues. You sound like a very sincere person.

    and welcome.


  • jambon1


    We are here for you whatever you decide. I hope its right for you, whatever you do.


  • mama1119

    Welcome Saki...I hope you find the answers you are searching for. I personally know people that have been in the same situation, and have come out more happy and content, if you can believe it!!! :)

  • 95stormfront

    First, I'd like to thank you for sharing that poignant post. There is a lot in there that I'm hopeful that the board will take issue with, hopefully go easy on you for, and a lot that we've all felt.

    I think I was right where you are right now a couple of years after baptism. My inquisitive mind and independent personality, though temporarily suppressed during my study, came back with a vengeance and the cracks in the fascade of the organization began to appear. It was a process, sometimes long and drawn out, correlating directly with how long it takes you to believe in the direction of the organization, the strength of your faith in its leadership, and whether or not you can suppress from your conscious the fatal flaws that'll stare you in the face once you're aware of things the organization would wish you not know.

    Behind the expected "jehovahs people are the happiest people on earth" tone, I sense a note of sadness in your post, a crying out for answers to qestions not dared asked in the congregation, a sense of not wanting to be the one of disappointment for "friends" and family for rocking the boat, the terror of unhappiness for all those around you and impending death itself unless you conform, the nagging little prickling in the back of your mind that something must be wrong with you for feeling the way you do....questioning the way you are....for even coming here.....speaking with your brethren of humanity.

    This is nothing new to anybody hear as it is in fact how the organization wants you to feel, just as they made your dad feel, if you're somehow perceived as having not done or doing quite enough or in a questioning phase in the very nature of the organization itself.

    The same misunderstanding you have of ex-jw's congregating and coming to a site like this is much the same as how the ex-jw community feel about JWs going to meeting after meeting, assembly after assembly, convention after convention, and hearing the same negativity about whats going on in the world, the high anticipation of the deaths of billions, the constant scrutiny of whether or not you're doing enough, and how deserving or not of you of jah's "undeserved kindness", and how sticking to an organization whose history is so fraught with lies and deceipt is the only way to get closer to God.

    The flip side of the mirror.

    Ten years ago, I had a couple of elders in my home telling me that my educational goals were a waste of time. Two weeks ago, after I've increased the quality of my life immeasurable by hours on a time slip, they were in my home telling me the same thing. The end being around the corner......

    Finding a place like this was a lifesaver for me and many others. It was a affirmation that I wasn't alone in my feelings and suspicions, that something wasn't wrong with me, that I wasn't in line for certain death if I wasn't following the organizations every wish. If not this place then somewhere else.

    Hopefully, you'll get to see and understand this point. Questioning the org need not be the death sentence and end of your life the WT expects you to believe.

  • carla

    are they really the deceitful, lying and cheating body that you all make it out to be?--Yes they are. They have encouraged my husband to lie to me, his wife. They misquote authors and scholars on a regular basis. They lie to their own members on a regular basis. For instance take the Greber issue, the UN issue, the blood issue, pedophile issue, the list could go on and on. Have you researched any of these issues in non jw literature? Have you yourself checked out any of the scholars quoted in wt's to see if the scholar actually said what the wt claimed? Have you looked at the flip flops of the society? Truth today may be error tomorrow yet you must still believe it and teach the error to others. Some believe that misrepresenting God on a regular basis is wrong. Pure love? Do you mean purely conditional love? Jesus never treated anybody the way jw's treat each other and those around them.

  • mrsjones5
    Now I know you need to look deeper into the teachings, which I have and fully aware of the topics up for debate, but overall, when you look at the organization itself, are they really the deceitful, lying and cheating body that you all make it out to be?

    Yes they are. My father taught me that one lie usually leads to another. I suggest you do some research on the outside of the Org.


  • kid-A

    "The day that I turn away, which im sure will surely happen now that I've started process by visiting this site... will be the day I've given up life itself."

    Just a thought. If you believe 90% of it is true, why do you believe you will "turn away"? If you are happy with your beliefs and JW culture then why are you

    visiting the site and reading this information? You have the choice NOT to visit this site.

    Nobody will force you to leave the JWs and if it works for you and honestly makes you happy, and believe that you will be "giving up life" by leaving the WTS,

    why on earth would you leave? While I personally believe it is a pile of poop, you have the right to practice whatever religion you like.

  • anewme

    Welcome Saki2fifty to JWD!

  • Honesty

    Welcome, saki2fifty.

    Some children love the KH meetings and some recognise bible truth at a young age

    For the present, my young son is forced to go to meetings by my ex but he knows the truth about Jesus and accepts Him as his personal Lord, Savior and mediator .

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