I'm another of the UBM's here (UnBelieving Mates) I personally like JW's. My wife is JW. One of my good friends is JW and they're both wonderful people. I participate here because for better or for worse, the JW's are part of my life and likely always will be.
I agree with your thought that someone in my position would likely never fully comprehend what is going on in your head right now. (I do try really hard though) I suspect that the reverse may also be true to some extent. I've struggled again and again to wrap my mind around the JW view of their own importance and never quite understood why or how JW's accept it.
As you know, JW's are taught that they are performing a vital life saving work as proclaimers of God's kingdom, while simultaneously having "a share" in the "Vindication of Jehovah's name" and the settlement of the issue of "Universal sovereignty." --That's quite a mouthful.
These may seem like simple, straightforward concepts to you, but for an outsider these are extremely esoteric doctrines that take a considerable amount of effort to understand. (And for some of us, are still incomprehensible....) I've read many articles on JW's where the author or authors misrepresented JW doctrine(s) simply because they did not understand them. Maybe you've noticed this as well.
The fact is that 99.999% of the general population has absolutely no idea what the "Universal issue" is or why God's "name" needs to be vindicated or that Christ's Kingdom was invisibly "set up" in 1914 and the "Nations" lease on power was at that time invisibly cancelled by the invisible king and consequently all people are now demonstrating whether they are "For" or "Against" this Kingdom. (Another mouthful)
Despite their view of themselves, JW's have not done what they seem to think they have done. (i.e. Made these "issues" known to mankind) This is one thing that really stands out to me, as an outsider and makes the notion that virtually the entire prophetic content of the Bible, especially the book of Revelation is written to, for and about JW's all the more absurd.
Jgnat has suggest trying to untangle your perception of God from JW organization and doctrine. I think she's given you good advice.