my bethel servise left me seriously depressed!!!!

by xcaliber 102 Replies latest jw friends

  • xcaliber
    xcaliber

    Let me tell you a little about me. I auxilary pioneered for a year, then I regular pioneered for 2 years while serving as a ministerial servant. Then I served at bethel for 3 years. While at bethel I worked harder then I have my hole life. I worked 17 hour days when when my overseer and assistant overseer was away and the crew was low on staff. I auxilary pioneered while I was there. And this might sound crazy but just to tell you how hard I worked, I would go to the library after work to pray,study and meditate then I would go to my room around 9:00 pm take a shower change my clothes then stay up in the library all night and then go to work the next day with out sleep. My roomate would wounder why I was never in the room all night.I did sleep some times when I would fall asleep in the library.I would do all these things because I wanted to draw close to Jehovah.But my crew overseer was very racist he would use rasial slurs ALL THE TIME I was being hurassed by the other 2 white members of the crew, I mean fisicaly. a 2 by 4 was thrown at me nails were thrown at me things like that. I told my department overseer and all he did was talk to the people responsible. this would make them more angry at me.I went to an elder and overseer of a different department, then my department overseer was angry that I spoke to someone outside of the department.Eventualy I got sent to the medical department, I worked hard to memorize medical terms so I could read peoples charts, I worked with elderly people I would change dipers things like that. But then Bethel began down sizeing, I was called into a room and told I would have to leave by 2 elders. One of them knew the rasist overseer that I worked with so I thought this was revenge for me speaking out about what happend. I did not have money for an apartment or anything, bethel dose not pay you for your work, Also I was not certified to work in the medical feild, or certified by bethel to do anything outside of bethel. so I asked if I could go to M.T.S. ( a school) so I could get some training I was told they would not send mr to the school. I was left with nothing and I was afraid to fight back because I did not want to get thrown out of the organization.To this day I still do not have a job, most of my life I was volunteering to help the organization.And 4 year universitys are not spoken of highly by the organization most are encoraged to volunteer to pioneer right out of high school. WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF YOU WERE ME????

  • SPAZnik
    SPAZnik

    Stop giving your power to other people.

  • SPAZnik
    SPAZnik

    What do you want to do?

  • poppers
    poppers

    What would I do? I'd get out of the borg for starters. Never having been a dub that's easy for me to say, however.

  • SPAZnik
    SPAZnik

    By the way, I can relate. I used to give my power away to the JW organization, among others. I wore myself out. Old habits die hard, I take this bad habit with me, but I fight it now and am much happier and healthier as a result.

  • fullofdoubtnow
    fullofdoubtnow

    Hi xcaliber, and welcome to the board.

    How old are you? If you are still young, and you seem fairly young, it isn't too late to learn new skills and take up a rewarding career. In the meantime, take any job you can find, however menial, to get by.

    As for your bethel experience, try to out that down as a lesson learned. I doubt your story will be a unique one.

    take care

    Linda

  • xcaliber
    xcaliber

    I dont want to leave the organization because it is the only one that I know that is very acurate as far as bible teachings. But my old rasist overseer is still in bethel while I strugle to find a job and pay bills. I wish I could sue him or something. but when you go to bethel you sign a contract saying you will not sue the society. I wish I could go on the news or something.

  • SPAZnik
    SPAZnik

    Get a job.

    Don't know how? Get some training to get a job.

    What country do you live in.
    Many places have systems set up to help people learn how to get jobs.

    Is english your second language?
    Brush up on your spelling skills, it will impact peoples opinion of you.
    Or at least have someone proofread your job applications so that there are no glaring errors.

    See your doctor about depression if that is in fact the case.

    Also, get some rest.

  • No Apologies
    No Apologies


    1. Leave the org. Fade away, DA., whatever works for you. You have already seen how the org works, no matter how much you do, it will never be enough. They will take and take and take, and will give nothing back in return. edited to add: ok, I missed your post where you mentioned you did not want to leave the org, because you thought they had the only accurate teachings about the Bible. Let me guess, you were raised as a JW, so of course as far as you know, they are the most accurate religion, they have pounded that idea into your head your whole life. Do your own research, you will soon see their brand of "truth" is no better than any other, and oftentimes is worse. Besides, your experience with your Bethel overseer should demonstrate the disconnect betweeen what they preach and what they actually do. They talk the talk, but they don't walk the walk.

    2. Decide what you want to do with your life. You mention training/education, so perhaps you should look at your options for furthering your education re a career field that interests you and that you may have some background in already(you mentioned some health care work you did at Bethel).

    3. Enjoy your freedom.

    No Apologies

  • xcaliber
    xcaliber

    I am 28 years old. I guess I could try to learn a skill. but I found someone I want to marry. and I am trying to have a family and forget all that happend. But it is almost impossible to get a job here. And my fiance wants to get married soon. I think this experienced has cripled me for a long time.

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