Huge shock!

by Crumpet 158 Replies latest jw friends

  • Xandria

    Crumpet: I am so sorry you are going through this hurt. It is painful, frustrating and disheartening all at once. All I can say is we care and are here. We hope the best, I know it isn’t the “same” as family that shares a history with you, but at least you can choose which direction life will take you and not be judged.

    As for Shunning:

    If anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for his immediate family, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever."--1 Tim.5:8 (NIV)

    Paul counseled against abandoning those separated from the congregation: For your part, brothers, do not give up in doing right. But if anyone is not obedient to our word through this letter, keep this one marked; stop associating with him, that he may become ashamed. And yet do not be considering him as an enemy, but continue admonishing him as a brother.

    2Thes.3:13-15 NWT

    Just how are you to keep “admonishing” if you don’t even participate in someone’s life? What ever happened to love and encouragement? If the law of Christianity can be summed up in one word, it is "LOVE." Then what is shunning doing in practice?

    2 Thessalonians

    And I say to the rest of you, dear brothers and sisters, never get tired of doing good

    2 Thessalonians 3:13-15 (Holman Christian Standard Bible)

    Brothers, do not grow weary (A) in doing good. And if anyone does not obey our instruction in this letter, take note of that person; don't associate with him, so that he may be ashamed. 15 Yet don't treat him as an enemy, but warn him as a brother.

    Those who have received the gospel are to live according to the gospel. Yes it takes work, to help others and encourage. Christianity is not to countenance slothfulness, which would consume what is meant to encourage the industrious, and to support the sick and afflicted (and encourage the struggling, for if we are imperfect we all struggle.) Industry doesn’t mean robotic sermons and door to door works, it goes beyond that as “Christians”.

    Nor does it mean you put on airs or be in judgment, for we all screw up at times. But some religious ritualized people expect to be maintained in idleness, when it comes to helping the afflicted, the struggling because a group of men interpreted the bible and stand in the place of judgment. When it is not their place to be, they indulged a curious and conceited temper, to use it to destroy. They meddled with the concerns of others and do much more harm, which isn’t at all Christ-like. It is a great error and abuse of religion, to make shunning a cloak pride, because there is no good in injury and the disheartening someone. (Talk about stumbling someone) To be idle in the department of kindness, love, and caring, is a true sin. It is an excellent, but rare union, to be active in our own business, yet quiet as to other people's. If any refused to labour with quietness, they were to note him with censure, and to separate from his company, yet they were to seek his good by loving admonitions. The Lords is with you while you are with him. Hold on your way, and hold on to the end.

    Tough Love is misused in this practice. Tough Love doesn’t always mean harming someone emotionally, mentally or even physically. Does not love rescue and recover, with gentle encouragement? Would Jesus shun the sheep, that strayed from the flock?

    The bible also states, regarding hardening of the heart~


    Fathers, do not exasperate your children, so that they will not lose heart, in whatever our heart condemns us; for God is greater than our heart and knows all things. Ephesians 6:4

    New American Standard Bible

    Compared to NWT: And YOU, fathers, do not be irritating YOUR children, but go on bringing them up in the discipline and mental-regulating of Jehovah.

    If Jehovah wants you to worship him with free will. Why would there be a reason for mental regulation? That is man’s translation.

    But he who stands firm in his heart, being under no constraint, but has authority over his own will, and has decided this in his own heart, to keep his own (virgin) daughter, he will do well. 1 Corinthians (New American Standard Bible)

    The matter comes down to free will. Cohersion is not productive to free will I seriously think that God/Jehovah/ The Creator wouldn’t want you to be forced to worship him because someone else wanted you to do so, no in fact that is why it is called a PERSONAL relationship. It is your choice to have one or not. In the end it is suppose to be between him and you any way.

  • Crumpet

    (WARNING - if offended by ranty language then you've come to the wrong topic - I am unable to exercise restraint just now)

    Okay i got a reply from my father. whew, i am a mess of emotions - i feel very angry - i can't tell you.

    he said:

    'How is your leg? Hope you can walk' (Like he fucking gives a shit)

    '[my sister] asked me not to tell you she married [kid from my old cong - i won't say anything nasty like scraping the barrell] (drum roll please)

    2 Years ago! '

    '[my younger sister] is still single (well no big fucking surprises there - my other sister took the only other non married brother this side of 70)and pioneering as are [other sister and hubby of 2 years].

    'I know it must have hurt you to find out from he grapevine but i had to respect her wishes luv dad'

    Now everyone getyour ear plugs in because I am about to scream my head off.

  • Pubsinger

    Glad you enjoyed the cheque bit Enigma!

    I'm not saying Crumpet should say anything untrue or dishonest. I'm sure she IS pleased for her sister.

    But she doesn't have to reveal her feelings/hurt. They're COUNTING on her doing that. It's feeding the Trolls. And they definitely won't stop if they know they're tactics work.

  • Enigma One
    Enigma One

    I understand what you are saying Pub....I do. But JW's assume that worldly people have no heart, no feelings, no emotions. They are wicked tools. So yeah you plan works...but you need to incorporate some EVIL into the plan as well. Make them understand how much THEY have hurt YOU. You have to cut through the pre-programming. That's all I'm trying to get at. But by being 100% HONEST you can face your maker and say you did the best you could. That's all. No B.S. No games. Just honest emotion. If the JW's can't see that and acknowledge that.....well, they'll have their own maker to face for that.

    I dunno. I remember shunning people myself. Saying things like "THEY turned their backs on JoeHoover".....someone needed to shake me like a newborn to wake me up.

    It's fu**ing sad either way. I get angry at this stupid cult. So sorry if I'm a bit abrasive at times.

  • DHL


    I have just read the whole thread. If I was you I'd count till 10 (or 100) and then I'd answer him just saying "Thank you!" - nothing else.

    Then I would try to sing "Let it be".



  • Mary

    Tell him once you stick him in the old folks home, you might just forget to tell him anything about anyone too.
    LOL! Ya, exactly. What's that bumper sticker say? 'Be nice to your children-----they choose your nursing home.' Crumpet, you should go to a public phone booth, phone your dad, disguise your voice and pretend that you're a journalist from some newspaper doing an article on religious cults and mind control and you heard that his religion forbids him to talk to his daughter and didn't tell her her own sister got married because you don't accept all their beliefs. Would he like to make a comment? He'd soil his undies right then and there. That's really pathetic that no one bothered to tell you your own sister got married. You should send her a belated congratulations card and write in there that you would have sent it sooner, but no one thought to tell you that she got married. I'd also wrap a really nice box up to look like a present with absolutely NOTHING inside.

  • Crumpet

    Debbie I would love to be calm enough to be so dignified in my response but ... 2 whole years, i dont even get to see a pic of my sister in her wedding dress. she hates me ThaT much. How crumby does that make this crumpet feel.

  • Pubsinger

    I am so sorry.

    Feel free to swear and rant away at/to us all.

    I still don't think you'll acheive anything by railing at him/them. He'll just report your reaction to your sister, and I suspect that that will be the reaction they are looking for.

    Hurting for you

    P x

  • Pubsinger

    It's possible that "no response" is the best response at the mo

  • Crumpet

    Pubsinger thank you for being the voice of reason - mine has switched off and i can't find the on button.

    Mary - a woman after my own heart - thats exactly the sort of devious response I'd expect myself to concoct and you made me snigger in an evil way. Thank you.

    If I didnt have you guys here to talk to right now i think i might go temporarily insane. it should be happy occassion when your beloved sister gets married - how twisted is this religion and the way it raises people to think that this kind of behaviour is normal.

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