A close look at the Bible shows that Jehovah's true people would be criticized, just as Jesus was. The criticism and the venom shown to JW's is, sad but true, part of what was foretold by Jesus and others. You mention that you had been studying with the JW's for a little over two years by this time, and felt that you probably would not end up being baptized because you're "sort of a coward." A coward doesn't stand up for what they know is right. That will be your choice, if it's true. What you say about the "academic environment where everyone there is pretty progressive minded", it may well be true, in the short term that you'd have greater legitimacy in their eyes if you told them you were an alien from Mars than if you told them you were a JW. It's just not what they think they can identify with, perhaps. Having a spouse who doesn't share your beliefs is, certainly a challenge. But Jehovah is a master with challenges. Love never fails. Either we choose to fear/respect Jehovah above others, or we choose to fear/respect others above Jehovah. Since Jehovah is everlasting, and the others may not be, the better choice seems clear enough. Sometime fearing something — such as the "anticipated toll on your marriage" — may not materialize in the way that we expect. We have the Bible assurances — that God is greater than our hearts, and that we will not be tempted beyond what we can bear. Which just means that we need to always trust that His way is better than anything we may have in mind right now. He is the God of love, after all.
"Joining the Witnesses" is actually about "becoming united with Jehovah". He then helps a person to overcome their weaknesses. Help, of course, is a partnership, us as an individual and Him. "Faithful in little, ... faithful in much". We can perhaps always find what we're looking for — if we choose selfishness, relationships die; if we choose love, relationships flourish. If we choose love, it will give us the "guts" to support whomever we love — whether it be Jehovah, or otherwise. Your next paragraph is very candid: "All that said, I just don't understand the venom against them either. It seems to me that this vitriol could be some folks' way of justifying why they just don't want to be Witnesses. If you can convince yourself that the Witnesses are somehow bad and you can get others to support you, maybe it will mean that you're right and the Witnesses are wrong. I know how tempting that can be. I SO don't want the Witnesses to be "the truth," but I think they are. Think about some of the things that people get angry about: disfellowshipping, shunning, blood issue, going door to door, etc. All of these have a scriptural basis, no matter how much any of us wishes it didn't. The Witnesses aren't making this stuff up. The facts are that God does require much from us, and many of us are not prepared to meet those requirements because we don't want to give up the things in our life that make us so much a part of this world, something that the Bible tells us we shouldn't be. I don't know the specific scripture, but I know that in the Gospels somewhere Jesus says something like if anyone loves his own life more than he loves Jesus that person cannot be saved. These are the facts. We can't get angry at the Witnesses for pointing those out. What we choose to do with them is up to us. I hope that I'll one day not be such a coward, but I know that I'll be in a worse quagmire if I don't at least admit that the fault lies with me and not with the Witnesses."
You expressed hope that you hadn't offended anyone. We always offend: either Jehovah and His team, or Satan and his. I wish you the best as your journey continues.
