Fluff alert: Join the Brown Boy Apostles!!!

by kid-A 100 Replies latest jw friends

  • kid-A
    kid-A

    In case you have not noticed, we do have a resident prophet here on JWD. He goes by many names, Elijah, Brown Boy, and Estephan Leuese!! Here is a direct quote: My earthly name is Estephan Leuese. I am the Faithful and Discreet Slave foretold of in the book of Matthew. I am out of the East of Eden and direct descendant of Abraham through the tribe of LEVI. There is Jesse, JESUS who layed down his life on the behalf of many, and there is I, in the line of Jesus Christ as a branch, or symbol of PEACE in the End Times. I am a Slave to my Master JEHOVAH GOD and Jesus Christ as one who will effectate the LAW of ALMIGHTY GOD upon the earth as "King of the 'NEW JERUSALEM". In like manner I have been tested upon the earth of mankind by my willingness to give up my life on the behalf of many in the spirit realm, and also in the earthly realm. I have shed my blood on behalf of many also. This is how I have rightfully gained my position, amen. Do not follow me, but follow the teachings of the Father JAH and His son Jesus Christ, on their way as we speak, amen. The Faithful and Discreet Slave of JAH and JESUS I have always enjoyed his zany posts and I am VOLUNTEERING to become his FIRST Apostle!!! We will need 11 more !!!! Only requirements are you need to indicate on your application WHICH of the apostles you will represent and come up with a new NAME, along the lines of "Estephan Leuese" ..... Since I started the club, I dub myself the "antitypical Peter" and my EARTHLY name shall be "Reginald P. Foknokker the 3rd" SIGN UP NOW!!!! The FIRST 11 respondents will be CHOSEN....the rest of you will only be allowed to join the FAN CLUB!!!!

  • RichieRich
    RichieRich


    I call new Timothy!!! (only mom and granny in the truth)

    but my earthly name is Richie D. Licious.

    I have shed my blood on behalf of many also
    Yeah, I stubbed my toe for all mankind this morning.

  • wanderlustguy
    wanderlustguy

    Judas here... My earthname will be Richard Cranium

  • kid-A
    kid-A

    Come on people! 9 MORE !!!!!

  • tetrapod.sapien
    tetrapod.sapien

    i'm in.

    LMAO!

    tetragod

  • Satanus
    Satanus

    Not sure if i would be accepted. But, i can be the tempter. I can follow youse apostles of brown boy around and tempt you w drugs, hard boose, beer, porn, contraceptives, loose women, sloth, high paying jobs, govt positions, chocolate cheese cake. If there is something which you youse find tempting and i don't have it, just talk to me, and i'll see if i can find it.

    S

  • kid-A
    kid-A

    Of course we can use your services Satanus, but we hope you will be offering a "group" discount for your many fine products!! LOL

  • EliJah
    EliJah

    You have to be found worthy in order to join me by my side in the Kingdom of GOD. Which one of you can answer the following:

    Who is the Wild Beast described in the following scriptures?

    1 And it stood still upon the sand of the sea.

    And I saw a wild beast ascending out of the sea, with ten horns and seven heads, and upon its horns ten diadems, but upon its heads blasphemous names. 2 Now the wild beast that I saw was like a leopard, but its feet were as those of a bear, and its mouth was as a lion’s mouth. And the dragon gave to [the beast] its power and its throne and great authority. (Revelations)

    The Faithful Slave

  • EliJah
    EliJah
    Not sure if i would be accepted. But, i can be the tempter. I can follow youse apostles of brown boy around and tempt you w drugs, hard boose, beer, porn, contraceptives, loose women, sloth, high paying jobs, govt positions, chocolate cheese cake. If there is something which you youse find tempting and i don't have it, just talk to me, and i'll see if i can find it.

    S

    I have been tested by all of the above in worthiness. Chocolate Cheese Cake is not a temptation but a delight. The only test that I must face is that of a kindhearted female in like manner of the Christ. The purity of the females in the Middle East brings warmth to me in all aspects. I have even been before the image of satan himself as he is an invisible spirit. The image resembled that of sapien..............are you scared?

    Estephan Leuese

  • kid-A
    kid-A

    Prophet Elijah, I agree! Middle Eastern chicks are hot!!

    Please identify the beast for us!

    -the Apostle Reginald P. Foknokker

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