DA Letter

Sassy

Its still raining it appears in my life.. But I guess I see a small amount of sunshine with this last bit of rain.. You see I guess I will finally be free.. An old contact, someone I used to call one of my best friends, whom I wrote an email to a yr and a half ago, explaining to her that I was taking a break from my JW activities.. (which I also sent to my mother, and two other close friends at the time) has recently contacted the JW I work with. Originally when I wrote the letters, I had asked them not to tell her, to let me tell her. I had every intention of being honest with her, just as I had my mother and other three friends, but this friend I am referring to above, had sent me the most vicious, hateful reply, telling me to go shoot my head off or slit my wrists, and after that, I decided I couldn't handle another reply like that.. so I never told my JW co worker..

She was the one who had gotten me my job in California and I work with her every day, sitting only feet away. I knew eventually she would find out, but I put it off. So I celebrated holidays privately at home, not in front of her, never brought in a picture for my desk of my boyfriend or mentioned I was no longer attending meetings.

I also turned down lunches here at work with her.. as well as one to come have dinner at their home. I knew if I took those invitations and later she found out I wasn't a practiciting JW any more, she might be offended of my deception. So instead I guess I stopped all social contact the most I could out of respect for her.

Any way, this JW I work with, now that she is aware of my situation, who knows I wasn't scripturally free to date, as well as found out I have posted here, has given me the ultimatum to call my old PO or she will.

I told her she was forcing my hand to DA myself because I wasn't ready to go back.

so.. I guess I am going to write my DA letter.. one last thing and then there is nothing left except the scars...

I really don't want this to be an anxiety attacking episode for me. I want it easy and clean. Can I just write to say remove my publisher card from your files. I no longer wish to be considered one of JWs?

kls

Grrrrr tell her it is none of her f------ business what you do with your life.

Geeze Sassy i am sorry for all that is going on in your life and if you can handle what will happen wright the DA letter and get on with your life with out the wt hanging over your life.

PS: remind me when i think i am having a bad day to think of poor Sassy .

wanderlustguy

Such a loving organization, what in the world were we thinking to want to be away from such genuinely caring individuals, so approachable and mild tempered.

I'm sorry for all of your challenges you've had to face lately, and don't know what else to say. You are a better person than those who have responded to you with such hate, maybe they only hate what they perceive as wrong actions agains Jehovah, but that is no excuse for the way you are being treated as a person. I am proud to know someone (even if it's virtually knowing) who doesn't respond to hate with more hate.

I know you don't need my assurances, but for whatever it's worth, you can go right back to what we were always told in the meetings, persecution would come form those closest to you for making the right decisions. The right decisions are usually the hard ones when they really count.

Best Wishes to you, the sun is still there, it can't rain all the time.

W

GetBusyLiving

:his JW I work with, now that she is aware of my situation, who knows I wasn't scripturally free to date, as well as found out I have posted here, has given me the ultimatum to call my old PO or she will.

AlmostAtheist

I knew if I took those invitations and later she found out I wasn't a practiciting JW any more, she might be offended of my deception. So instead I guess I stopped all social contact the most I could out of respect for her.

You showed consideration for her feelings and beliefs, but you don't get similar treatment in return. How very Jesus-like.

Do you have family still in that you would want to maintain contact with? You could probably lie your way out of it, but you'd have to continue to hide who you are. That sucks.

DA if you want to, Sassy, but you have another option. Ignore it. Let her wrangle over it, let her go to her PO, let him call you up and try to verify whatever it is they want to verify. Don't take his call, or just tell him you'd rather not discuss it and leave it at that.

They will decide to declare you "DA"'d, but that's their call. Why waste your 37 cents?

But you could end it more quickly and cleanly with a simple DA letter. Two lines of text, nothing elaborate. You owe them NOTHING.

No matter how you decide to let it go, let it go. Don't sweat over it.

Dave

cruzanheart

Sassy, don't play by their rules anymore! Tell that little busybody that she can do as she pleases and, if someone contacts you either ignore the call or tell them the organization has a lot of explaining to do and until they satisfy your questions you will consider them a nonentity and have nothing to do with them. Or just tell them to go **** themselves.

I wouldn't bother writing any kind of a letter. That puts the power in their hands. And for God's sake get the biggest Easter bunny you can find and put it on your desk! Or a menorah -- either will do!

Nina

beebee

I wouldn't "honor" the society by writing a DA letter and playing by their rules. I would ignore her, and when the calls start to come, hunt down that letter someone else wrote (here on this site) threatening the elders with legal action if they do anything that could alienate you from your family, ie. DF or DA by "your actions."

If you wish to be out, then acknowledging they are correct in any fashion, by writing them a letter, attending a JC, etc. is still allowing them to control part of your life. Screw'em.

Ask where her Christian love is.

95stormfront

Any way, this JW I work with, now that she is aware of my situation, who knows I wasn't scripturally free to date, as well as found out I have posted here, has given me the ultimatum to call my old PO or she will.

What a piece of work this person is. I mean, just who does she think she is to deliver ultimatums like that. You should just tell her to "KYA" and let her do whatever she feels she has to do for her little WT master.

Elsewhere

If I were you I would get a lawyer to write a letter for you addressed to the elders of your congregation.

Basically have it state that if anyone starts shunning you then you will sue them for slander.

Others around here have done this... can anyone post a link to their experience?

Sassy

well my only family still in the dubs is my mom and step father.. (see my previous thread a week or two ago on my mother writing me a letter to state they are shunning me).. so no matter what happens with this situation, I lost family in any way.. it won't change anything with my mom.

The elders have no idea how to conact me, because I moved. However, I am sure she could tell them where I moved to. I do know that giving actual address and phone numbers would be crossing the line and she could get into trouble for that. But I do not want them calling..

and if she tells them and they can't find me.. decide to disfellowship me.. in abentia, then I feel like I am getting a label for bad behavior.. if I have a choice between DFing and DAing.. I think I'd prefer to be DA'd so that I am telling them I want nothing to do with them.. rather than them having the control and 'spanking' me

DA Letter

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