Thank you Lady Lee for all of this wonderful research... it needed to be said, and with your usual grace and elloquence, you said it quite well.
Inq 
Date Rape - What is it? WARNING some graphic details
by Lady Lee 89 Replies latest members adult
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Inquiry
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ESTEE
((((Lady Lee))))
I thank you from the bottom of my heart for starting this wonderful thread!
Yes indeed, you are the voice of reason on this board.
You have my love and respect.....ohhhh!!!...and a dozen yellow roses!!!....for friendship!!!
ESTEE
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frenchbabyface
Lady lee did you take my post personally ?… I think that we’ve got a language barrier here.
Again : don’t get me wrong (don’t misunderstand me) I’ve told you I’m tired (and I’m not English) but as you can see I’m here sitting reading yours posts (to be a bit clear as I know you a little bit in reading lots of your posts – I wouldn’t have clic on this one if it have brought up by you or some others that I feel interesting). The other post just bothered me at the end because of what things have been already said about it, means the reason why it have been shut
When I’ve read your introduction of the post, it reminds that I’ve got to answer some questions if it was about my post, I felt like I haven’t been clear enough on what I’ve said. I couldn’t answer to it on the other post, it have been shut. A the same time I thought it was important to mentioned that basically in front of a rapist you’ve got more chance if you act to act like a rapist (and that self defence courses can help A LOT) … And want to add here : from the very, very, very first time that you found it that the guy is a potential rapist, (animal against animal) – not easy … I know … but rage, adrenaline … can help … Have to keep in mind that the guy wont give you a chance if you’re not a bit confident in the way you answer to his assaults.
And of course its does not apply to everyone (little kids / old people … and lots more) but you brought this all up already in your introduction … why should I repeat what you’ve already said ? … (You did it well enough) or writing back all what I think, and experiences about that (I already feel like I’m talking too much !)
I guess I’m talking in a straight way you may feel it more arrogant than it is, that’s why I guess you are missed my point … So I think I have to apologized, but remember I’M NOT ENGLISH … I’m trying my best here to communicate with you … you know … But can I change my way of talking beside while I’m talking about something important … (it’s pretty hard for me … you may not be able to notice it cause you don't really know me but I'm trying … and still I am what I am … that’s one of the reason why I’m single you know !!! (I don't cry about it so this is not the problem) but I’m paying my way of being CASH !!! And well if I deserve to pay it … IT’S OK … and when I’m wrong, I’m wrong … it's quiet stupid to say/think the inverse I want to look forward and not behind) I have no problem at all to admit it when I'm wrong but it’s hard to stand when I feel that I’ve been misunderstood – then I need to answer at least to make it clear …
As I said I'm tired … but still … I’m reading you girls ! Now you’ve got a clue on how much I’m interested in most of your posts.
Lady Lee
I need to know if I have been clear and calm enough on this post , cause I can’t read myself in being sure it is ok! Different idioms and ways of saying things in ours different languages don’t make me able to appreciate my own way of writing in the way you may understand it … and don’t feel like I to arguing each time that I’ve post something. With anybody just because of a misunderstanding …
Answer me please, if you’ve got a little time for me … Thank you in advance … Corinne.
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Lady Lee
Corrine
No I didn't take your post personally at all. I appreciate what you said here. Je pense que votre anglais est plus meilleur que mon francais. Je comprends bien les differences en communication entre les anglophones and et les francophones. Ma mere est une francophone mais mon pere ne permete pas d'elle a parler en francais avec leurs enfants. Avant que je demengent a Winnipeg je demeurent a Montreal pour plus de 30 ans. A toute les postes que vous avez faite ici je pens qu'ils n'ya pas d'un personne qui pense mal a vous As you see my french is very bad
Keep posting Corrine. S'il y'il a une problems avec le comprehension demandez pour un explication. Excuse moi s'il ya une problem ici. Le communication et difficile de temps en temps mais beaucoup de personnes ici conaittre que je suis une personne raisonable. I try my best to see both sides of a discussion and am sorry if this has upset you
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Frannie Banannie
(((Lady Lee and those who replied here))), I thank you so much for this thread and your support on this subject....It's a gruesome one, but one that needed to be addressed...
Frannie B
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frenchbabyface
Thanks Lady Lee …
Tu parles très bien le Français ( You speak French very Well)
I feel much better about that now … I wasn’t upset about it, it just makes me sad (I was thinking Damn what have I done wrong here? … I have to tell my feelings, remind them my handicap about the language (understand others / and being understood) … and way of thinking and being it may help a bit.
By the way :
How comes that your mother was not allowed to express herself in French ? (if you don’t mind to answer this)
Well then I might tell you a story about : Alcool - being black – kids – A couple – rap – suicide – love (all this in the same little story) And if I don’t feel to tell you the story (because, I’m thinking about telling it or not) the point about this story which is related to your post is that :
Sometimes woman can be you’re enemy – Means that a woman can put you in trouble with her own husband to make him rap you !!! ABSOLUTLY TRUE … I was lucky on this … the guy was nice. Just to make people understand that the problem can come from who you would never think about it … Yes !
The point IS : AS A WOMAN YOU EVEN HAVE TO TAKE WITH A WOMAN !!!
Again thanks for the relief ... Lady Lee
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Maverick
The way I look at it, no is no...always. And if the lady I am with looks at me as if I'm a sap for walking away...I can live with that just fine. I like it better when things are clear. And I have stopped in progress, so I know how I'll act. That's the one advantage of being a little older. I've worked my whole life to disprove the old French expression that, "When the cock is up, the brain is down"! Maverick
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Francois
I don't know if this has been addressed as yet as I haven't read the entire thread so far. However, I am wondering at what point (if there is one) that it becomes too late to say no. Let us say that there has been intromission and that the sexual act has been in progress for, say, ten minutes. Is it possible, as a matter of sheer possibility, as the male is now edging ever closer to the point of no return, for him to stop? Is it even fair, or moral, or ethical to ask a male in that position to stop?
Females, who have never been in such a position, cannot possibly know what an impossibility they're asking. Better they not even start than to ask for such a thing.
Because I was for many years with a woman who had MPD, I was asked to stop at some very bad times, but never quite at the time I've described above. I can only thank my lucky stars I wasn't. I just don't know for sure how I would have reacted. Nothing about it would have been good.
Can we calmy discuss this aspect of the question? Understand the female willingly, even eagerly undertook and began the sex act, this is no date rape we're talking about here.
Frank
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Valis
From what I'm observed and experienced, a woman approaches sex from an entirely different angle than a man. It seems to me that there is a deep emotional aspect to sex for a woman that many men don't appreciate until much later (if at all) in the relationship.
Big T, I just wanted to maybe this year disagree with you one time..this simply is not the median rule by far. If we based sexual reality on your scope and vision, it might be a tad limited. Give yourself another 5 or 10 years of freedom and you might change your mind, or at least have it changed vicariously...*LOL*. It has been my experience that women have sex for all kinds of reasons and many not intimate. 20's, 30's, 40's, 50's...women love sex for sex's sake just as much as men do, many times without the kind of emotional attachment I think you are attributing to the act. I would also add that any man who forces sex upon another person is in serious need of some jail time, which in turn would cure them of their idea that sex is something they really want to take from someone else. Thanks to Lady Lee for starting an important thread. My trials and tribulatins won't start for another few years, but I may buy five acres and a back hoe...lots of room for young men to be buried...*LOL*
Sincerely,
District Overbeer
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Lady Lee
Merci Corinne Vous etre tres gentille
My father thought that if we could speak another language we would be talking about him so he forbid it. My father was a sick man. My mother did not learn to speak english until she was 16 and had left home. I was born just after she turned 18
Moi je fais des conseil pour des femmes abusee. Je suis ecoute beaucoup d'histoires quand une femme arrange l'abuse d'une autre.
Trying to type in french helps me to understand how difficult this might be for you. J'apprecie votre grande effort
Mav good for you. You actually answer Francois's post
Francois sir my hat is off to you to attempt a relationship with a multiple. I know many times one part will initiate sexual activity and then disappear leaving a different part wondering what is going on. It can be extremely difficult for the person in your position. And even more important that control is used when needed. For centuries men have used withrawal as a way to prevent pregnancy. It isn't easy or maybe fair (in your situation) but it can be done.
Laws now stipulate that either person has the legal right to say NO and expect the the other to stop at any point. Personally I think any of this can be taken too far. But on the other hand there can be valid reasons to stop. If you were hurting your partner you would want to stop and make sure she was OK right? And certianly in the DID/MPD situation you describe you would be horrified to find out a child part had taken over and you had ignored the STOP request.
Sexual contact isn't a game. For anything to happen for a woman we need to physically open ourselves up and allow another human being to enter our bodies. This is big. I think men rarely see it this way. I think few women see it this way. But when someone enters our body or refuses to leave it when asked it is a betrayal and violation.
My personal feeling on this is:
When I invite my partner to enter my body I expect him to respect me, listen to me and leave when asked.