That's what is so toxic about this cult. False hope. When you discover TTATT, it is a great shock. It could be described as grief equivalent to the death of a loved family member. Or any other life changing event that you haven't even thought of at your age such as losing a job, divorce, domestic violence, ect.
Time is a healer. Keep your mind occupied. Play a sport. Voice your concern on this forum. Remember we are all going though the same issues. That is why we are here.
Take care.