do whatever you think is necessary to continue serving Jehovah. Move far away from --
the idea that your life should be focussed on the wt slavery aka serving god. You are doing yourself a disservice that way. Sooner or later this former torturer of yours will succumb to the urging of his hormones, and you would be wt free to remarry. but why let yourself be ruled by those artificial, even barely biblical rules?
Your trouble is, you might seek out (without realizing it) the same personality type again. Take advice of many counsellors.