Umm, no ,J-DUBBED, as much as you resent your jw daughter in law, you cannot tell him you don't want to be in her presence.That will negate the apology in the email,and set off a shit storm from hell, my friend! You will lose him. She has the control here for now. She sleeps with him, she has his ear.
You can ASK if just the 3 of you can have a chat right now, since it's been a while, and you would like to make things right with him first. Tell him you look forward to getting to know his wife better and would like to take them out to dinner in the next week or two,whenever it's good for them. Name a restaurant if you want, ask where they would like to go. Follow through.
If he says no, she comes, accept it. Please do the reading on combatting cult mind control that others have recommended here before you meet, or at least as much as you can. That may help you avoid any mis-steps that will send him running again. You have 2 ears & 1 mouth for a reason. The first few times you meet, LISTEN. That will help you know where he's coming from. When you meet with them both, you should be able to see who's in control, and that should help you know how to proceed. Be kind, be accepting, he's an adult who has made an adult decision. With love and patience, you may be able to wakehim up, but you better know what your talking about. jw's are very good at cherry picking scripture and taking control of conversations, and threatening to stop them if "all you want to do is argue" meaning that you are able to show them something that contradicts their beliefs, and you have to know how to handle that.
I am curious, tho, about the whole Easter Bunny/Santa thing. Did he still believe at 25? Shouldn't he have been over it by then?