For those who know my story my hubby and I are almost a year out of the organization! My due date is right around the corner and still no word from my hubby's family. They are hardcore. Rumor has it they are putting forth extra effort to show no love or support because they KNOW he is going back. Haha yeah right! Hubby is about ready to join the guys sitting in front of the convention holding their signs we are always joking! Hubby is df'd and I am a removed publisher. So my family has made a small effort to get together, we have gone to lunch a couple times kept the convo light, however they snuck me a copy of the return to Jehovah!!!! But I appreciate them not pushing anything, at least not YET. They always find a way. I feel so horrible for my husband, although he is the one baptized and I'm not, he never truly understood the religion and only got baptized to please his family, he had no idea what he was getting himself into, he rejected the religion since he was 12, but the pressure of his Family got to him, he is one of those unlucky ones whose entire family is in the org. Luckily for me it's onlyy parents, sister and brother. I have all my aunts uncles and grandparents, expect my grandmas but they don't ignore me. Anyways he truly has no one and has heard not one word from his own mother!!!!!! Let alone anything from his 5 siblings!!! We have a baby due in the next couple weeks and nothing. Get this though. His nephew and his wife are expecting a baby as well just a few weeks behind me, and the family is all over that! Throwing baby showers, nonstop gifts, pictures and comments all over social media. Let me add in this couple who is married now, was actually having sex before marriage, they felt guilty so tied the knot, got married in the Kingdom Hall! And a couple years later felt guilty so the husband told his KOBE father, and his response.....does anyone know??? Can you believe it! Supposedly a meeting was set up with some of the cooler elders, and they got a slap on the wrist. Nothing. Funny huh! But my husband and I get attacked an stalked by elders trying to corner us into admitting we were having sex! Then disfellowshipping my husband when he never met or talked to them. Anyways... How heartbreaking. He has bad dreams every night and really takes a toll on him emotionally. I however have accepted my decision and that my relationship with my family will never be the same, I knew this before I married him. Him being df'd and knowing he is never going back would change my life dramatically. He is always trying to blame a certain brother or certain people in which we were kicked out because man were they after us! But i just tell him who cares! We got out that's all that matters. If things didn't happen this way we would probably be sitting in the Kingdom Hall right now! If anything thank them for pushing us to open our eyes! The more time passes the more free I feel! To be myself and not be looking over my shoulder constantly.
Update rant almost a year out!
by Ghiagirl 9 Replies latest jw experiences
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DesirousOfChange
He needs to realize that he cannot control what other people do. He's lost the JW title so time to "move on" and make new friends & associates with people who like YOU, rather that the JWs that what you are -- other JWs.
The greatest revenge is to live a happy and successful life!
Doc
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PaintedToeNail
Congratulations on your upcoming baby. I agree with DoC, The greatest revenge is to live a happy and successful life! -
fleshyheadedmutant
Congratulations on your upcoming addition to the family!
Your baby will be fortunate to have a mother and a father who care about him/her, and not a future sitting in a KHall being told that they should not get a higher education, and that their goal should be to work at Bethel or sit behind one of the new carts while people walk past them.
Please concentrate on having a happy family life in your home. So sorry about your husband's family. It's what the JWs do...and have the nerve to call it love.
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problemaddict 2
Congrats on your little one. Help him see that what he did wasn't just a decision...but the RIGHT decision. It will make all the difference in the world.
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zeb
congratulations on the imminent arrival of the wee one. every happiness.! Please don't allow their behaviour or favoured treatment to define you and yours.
Big hugs.
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ToesUp
Ghiagirl
Congrats on the little new one. Enjoy every second of that sweet baby! Keep him/her away from this destructive cult. If your hubby's family does not want to associate with you, it is THEIR loss. They will miss out on that sweet child.
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ruderedhead
Congratulations, Ghiagirl! I wish you much joy and happiness.
I don't want to burst your bubble, but please be very aware that your husband may be feeling a bit of sadness along with his happiness right now due to his family's unloving actions, especially since they are going gaga over another family member having a baby. You don't want this to be a trigger for him to go back. Stay close to your family not in, ask them to assist you in making sure he feels a part of a loving family who loves unconditionally. Please don't brush off his feelings about those who he feels chased you both out. Your lives are about to have some wonderful changes. Make sure the witness family doesn't drive a wedge. Listen to his concerns, address them lovingly, and intelligently. All the best to you!
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Pete Zahut
Throwing baby showers, nonstop gifts, pictures and comments all over social media.
Gosh that's got to be hard to take....especially now with a baby on the way. I sometimes think family members go out of their way to over-do the attention they show on each other at these times, so they can really rub it in the noses of the family members who are on the "outs" with them. Social media is the perfect place for this and I have found it better to completely avoid any of their posts and not give then the satisfaction of knowing it has any effect on me.
I wonder if when your baby comes along, your husband will cave under the pressure of wanting his family to be a part of it ? It could be however, that if things are handled just right, they (his mom) might cave just to be able to see the baby.
I'd say, just play it by ear....take it as it comes....but don't let it spoil the special occasion of the baby's arrival.
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OnTheWayOut
So sorry to read of his family caught up in the JW rules.
and his response.....does anyone know???
Don't get me wrong, but I learned right away that they do things that way when I was appointed an elder. Since there really wasn't anything I could do to stop it, I magnified it instead. Any member in trouble in my congregation was my family member. If I could help them, I would tell them what the body of elders needed to hear or not to hear. But plenty of people got assigned to plenty of different elders. And when they have an agenda, there's nothing you can do. But your husband didn't just "get in trouble." He's outta there. He does need to try to just move on.