Here we go again. The next hate letter from our 2nd Son.

by Still Totally ADD 40 Replies latest jw friends

  • Still Totally ADD
    Still Totally ADD

    Yes it happen again with our youngest son. This last Monday we got a letter from him telling us how unloving we are because we are no longer JW. He told us we need spiritual and emotional help because we are apostates and we should know better since I was a elder and we both know it's the truth. Then some how it's all our fault that we don't talk to our grand kids even though both our boy's told us to stay away from them and don't try to write or phone them. The other things he brought out is all cult thinking. My wife and I with heavy hearts have again been reminded how the worse thing we ever did was raise our kids in the cult. I really feel sick about all but this time I will not take this lying down. I will write him back and let him know it is them not us who is unloving. It is them who will not let us see our grand kids not us and we will give them the reasons why we know the Wt. is a cult and unlike them our house will always be open to them and our grand kids. I know some of you may feel I should not do this but both letters from our oldest over 2 years ago and our youngest has so much disrepect and hateful things I just can't let them get away with it. My wife reminded me I still have her and yes she still has me. Sometimes it makes me wish I did listen to the Wt. Cult and not had kids. I am still glad but these kids just don't have a clue. Both in their early to mid 30's and they think they know everything and we are just a couple of selfish dumb old people. I hate this Cult. Still Totally ADD

  • AlphaMan
    AlphaMan

    Hang in there ADD. There is always hope they will wake up. Be loving and mention your hope to them in your letter. If they don't wake up the odds are that your grandkids will be out by the time they turn teenagers, so there is hope there of a future relationship with them. Only JW's cannot see how the Watchtower is a family destroying cult.

  • LisaRose
    LisaRose

    I think a letter is an excellent idea. Since he has been so disrespectful as to tell his own parents that they must do things his way, you are entirely within your rights to defend yourself. Tell him that if you knew when he was young that it was a religion based on lies you would not have been a JW, you simply did the right thing by leaving, that your conscience does not allow you to live a lie.

  • sparrowdown
    sparrowdown

    You could also point out that he is going against WT policy just writing you.

    I agree with Lisa if he chooses to break contact that is his right I suppose,

    but he has no right to judge you for yours.

  • cultBgone
    cultBgone

    If he told you that "you should know better because you were an elder and know it's the truth", I would tell him in the letter that it's precisely BECAUSE you were an elder that you know it's NOT. Tell him that you saw the pettiness of men fighting for position and power, that it was obvious holy spirit played no part in appointments, and that you found the child abuse coverups completely unacceptable.

    He can put that in his pipe and smoke it and hopefully it will ring a bell somewhere in his head, telling him to pay attention.

    So sorry you and your wife are having to endure this. I still have one child "in" but at least I've only been called an apostate once, which I refuted [use of the term], and we get along even though we don't share beliefs. There is hope for you two, too!

  • millie210
    millie210

    Im so sorry Still Totally ADD,

    From your posts I know you to be a warm and humerous person. I like what your wife said about you still have each other.

    Maybe there was an assembly or C.O. visit to fire your son up?

    One thing for sure, its not you.

    Wishing you and Mrs ADD all the best.

    You deserve better.

  • Billy the Ex-Bethelite
    Billy the Ex-Bethelite

    Don't you just feel the holiday cheer from Watchtowerland?

    Such a bounty of misery and disappointment in the lives of the sheeple, but they can't face the fact that it's WT and the GB that are making their lives horrible. So instead, they have to find someone to blame, like family members who have woken up and left.

  • Shanagirl
    Shanagirl

    ADD, As a parent of adult children, I can only imagine what you must be going thru. My family all got out together even though 2 of my children married JW's, now divorced. I often applogize to them for raising them in that cult. The only thing you can say is that you could no longer stay with that belief system because it was stealing your integrity if you remained an elder. Let your son know you will always love him and if he chooses to visit and bring the children, he will always be welcome in your home. Obviously he loves you too and is angry right now. He's angry and this letter is a way to try to engage you in some way. JW's always blame those that leave for the reason they have to shun them. Try to speak lovingly to him and that you left not to hurt him but because you could no longer consciencously follow this religion and have a clear heart.

    I remember when I suddenly knew in my heart I could no longer stay with it. I was out in service one day and was a regular pioneer, and I began crying, and filled with tears telling the elder ovrseer that I could no longer preach and it was no longer in my heart to do so. I went thru a rough time leaving but I did stop going after a lot of therapy and the support of my husband and children who were then just out of highschool. My youngest was 11 tho, and when we stopped attending a friend from the Hall who's daughter played with her, told me they would continue to pick her up and bring her to the meetings even if I couldn't bring myself to go. I said absolutely not, because I knew if I allowed this they would turn her against me. She grew up "out of the truth" and celebrating holidays with us and had a "normal' life. I'm so glad I took her out. My other kids do still have old JW issues, but no longer consider themselves part of that religion anymore. Interestingly, my husband and I got disfellowshipped, but none of my children did. Our older son was a Bethelite and I pioneered with my daughter when we were in.

    So I guess because of their JW roots, they totally don't get the holidays the way my husband and I and our daughter do. We all celebrate together, but I see only my youngest daughter with the genuine holiday spirit.

    I do hope you can work it out with your son. It's so sad the way this religion ruins natural family relationships.

    Shana

  • Finkelstein
    Finkelstein

    Still Totally ADD write a return letter stating why you left the WTS. and its

    dangerous corruption as a man made organization.

    They have to know and I'm sure you want them to know particularly your son.

    Don't ever second guess that people can pose questions to things knowing in their heart what they believe may not be real or truthful.

    Since you brought your children into this cult isn't your responsibility to help them escape it ?

  • Crazyguy
    Crazyguy

    Remind him of the golden rule, remind him that Jesus taught to love everyone including your enemy. Tell him jesus saidyou would know who his followers were by thier love. Remind him jjesus said do not exalt do not judge and the fact that he and his religion are not doing these things proves he and his religion are not really Christians

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