Congratulations on a year of hard work, but inestimable rewards! May your voice be the calm and rational voice of love that your daughter will hear whenever she has need...you will be right there with her.
Tapioca
JoinedPosts by Tapioca
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20
My 1 Year Update - I've Been Disfellowshipped One Year Today
by pale.emperor inwhat a journey!.
it was a year ago today that i was announced from the platform by brother paul "twofaced" castley that i was "no longer one of jehovah's witnesses".
i didn't go to that meeting to hear the announcement because i already didn't believe the watchtower religion.. how was my first year?
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She's here and early! 27 weeks 1day.
by Darkknight757 inso as of july 2nd my wife delivered by c-section our little one pound, three ounce daughter izabella.
it was a very scary night that started with a decel and turned into multiple decels that greatly concerned the doctors.
by early morning they felt the need to take her for her safety.
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Tapioca
Beautiful little daughter and beautiful name. All the best to you and your (strong) missus as you navigate this next few weeks! What a treasure...thank you so much for posting.
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A First for Mrs Phizzy !
by Phizzy inmrs phizzy voted for the first time today !
we have been out for nearly a decade now, but this is the first time mrs phizzy has been persuaded to vote.. she was always afraid that jw's would see her, and then df her for it, i explained (again, we have been over this before) that they would not do so, and my son had a word in her ear too, which did the trick.. she came out of the polling station and said to me "i voted for someone called teresa may, who is she ?".
trying to wind me up, but i knew the wicked witch of westminster was not on our ballot sheet.
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Tapioca
Yes, DOC, I agree that there seem to be just a few acid tests of independence. And voting is certainly one of those (along with burning the card and skipping communion!). Another poster (pale emperor) asked about indoctrinated guilt surrounding the action of voting. I'm so proud of Mrs. Phizzy! And of the pale one! It's not easy to take your place in this world when you've been conditioned repeatedly to view any of these actions as being grounds for DEATH. So many have awakened and are so strong. Well done indeed.
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Different Types Of Abuse
by Amanda Moore inthere is alot if press here in australua on the royal commission about child abuse in the jw faith.
however that is just one type of abuse, abuse can be physical or mental, we tend to forget about the various types of mental abuse in the jw faith.
my story is not unique and apologies for grammar etc.. my father and mother emigrated to perth australia many decades ago when i was very young.
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Tapioca
Welcome to the forum here, Welcome! Two items for thought: 1) You are 100% correct about the different types of abuse. Sweetie, it breaks my heart to hear about your pain. 2) You will be able to help others with your clear messages to "think twice" about joining up and "do not abandon any friends or family." Your experience has been a harsh teacher, but you are safe to vent here and to explore your many options for the future. It will get better. It will get better...just as Sylvia says, when you begin this very day to live the life YOU want for yourself. Please let us know what we can do to help you on your journey of peace.
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Tapioca
This graph perfectly sums up the borg's way (and any other cult, for that matter) of blaming the victim. If you are leaving, it is YOUR fault. If you are abused, YOU must have done something wrong. OMG, we are so good at that and internalize it so readily! GOOD ONE!
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Has anyone else experienced this?
by ToesUp inmy spouse and i have faded 4+ years ago.
we know the jw rumor mill has gotten back to our family that we no longer attend.
most of our family is out of state.
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Tapioca
They might be "old school." This would be a throw-back to another, previous time when shunning a family member meant that you wouldn't speak with them as a spiritual equal...nothing about KH, doctrine, etc. This is the tactic my family used. I would hear them gossiping about the rest of the Jdubs in another room, out of my earshot (but not quite). This was during the 80s when things were much more relaxed.
When you have an entire family in the cult, this can be pretty comfortable b/c you don't have to immediately replace all your community of support. It gave me time to stand on my own and to fade. I don't care what their reason was--I was always glad that I could speak with my parents and grandparents. They are long gone now.
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An update
by WeatherLover ini told my parents that i was considering taking some college classes, (of course they think that i mean at the community college) and that it would be a good idea for me to take the act (which i took on the 8th of this month).
i'm trying to take baby steps so it won't be a big shock to them all at once.
and just to make something clear, i'm not planning on starting college this fall, but instead i have my sights set on next year.. p.s.
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Tapioca
Excellent! Keep up the good work toward your scholastic and life goals. And thank you for making an update so that we can note (and applaud!) your progress. Make good use of your winning ways to win even more...scholarships included!
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At This Point In Time How Would You Feel If You Were Disfellowshipped?
by minimus inbefore my mother's death, it would have impacted me.
now , i wouldn't care..
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Tapioca
Before my mother's death, it would have impacted me. Now , I wouldn't care. ---minimus
This sums it up for me. Even though my father was never a JDub, he was supportive of Mother. Because they are both gone, I have a great deal more freedom. I can make the snarky comment or expose my own beliefs to other members of the family. Some of them are real a&&holes, so it doesn't really matter to me that they ignore our section of the family. On the other hand, I have been able to bring up some issues to some of the thinking ones of the family and we have had good discussions. I really try to leave the Dubs who are so very fragile alone. If I think there is an opening, though, I really go for it! LOL
One of the greatest joys of my life is that none of my children are involved in the cult. As TU sez: Contentment and happiness come from within. If someone (family or friends) no longer wants to be in our life, then they can hit the exit.
Sometimes I wonder if I'm totally a coward in that I wouldn't really "take a stand" to Mother. In my opinion, she was one of the "fragile ones." There are people who just don't want to see what monumental mistakes they've made in life. They don't want to face the loss of all their pretty dreams for the future. The lives that have been shattered due to false teachings and the judgments from men whose brains are the size of a lima bean...what a waste, what a waste. I have appreciated being on this forum because all kinds of differing viewpoints are represented with a general acceptance of all. Someone asking for advice is bound to get opposite points of view and that can be really helpful. It's a comfort to know that others have struggled with these issues, continue to do so, and in some cases, have overcome the challenge and are truly FREE.
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My son was accepted to prestigious universities
by never a jw insome background needed.
five years ago i decided to research what i thought was a good religion, the religion of my jw wife, to whom i have been married for almost 23 years.
what prompted my research was my then 14 y.o.
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Tapioca
Excellent, NAJ! Really stellar! My higher ed experience is on the east coast, so I will allow others with more relevant intel to step up here. How could either be wrong, though? When my daughters chose east coast universities, it seemed like a long way from home but they turned out to be very successful decisions. A tip of the hat to you and your family!
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Feeling the Guilt
by Saethydd ini'm currently disfellowshipped and living at home with my parents, but because they are both still devout jws i have to keep going to the meetings and crap because i don't want to risk getting thrown out until i finish college or find a job that will let me support myself and go to college.. yesterday, my mother rode with me to the meeting and told me how much my best friend and my oldest sister are missing me, and it just tears me apart because during the meeting i was practically counting the minutes till it was over.
it didn't help matters that i had to sit with my family because the library was closed off, thus forcing me to follow along with the meeting on my tablet instead of reading something useful or interesting like i normally do.. when i got home i just cried out in frustration because it feels like no matter what i do, i am making the wrong choice.
either i have to keep pretending to support an organization that has caused so much pain to so many people, or i have to abandon my family and friends to it so i can save myself.
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Tapioca
What the emperor sez: You're smart, you've figured this out young.
Might I add that it is a false dichotomy that you only have two choices: Either I have to keep pretending to support an organization that has caused so much pain to so many people, or I have to abandon my family and friends to it so I can save myself. There are many gradients in between those two polar opposites. You're smart. You're young, you can figure the rest of this out. Your situation is like no one else's and yet, it's like all of our own experiences. Take the advice here that helps you. Leave the rest. We're all supportive. Think of your many alternate paths out...and yes, get that education. You're smart. You've figured this out young.