Has anyone else experienced this?

ToesUp

My spouse and I have faded 4+ years ago. We know the JW rumor mill has gotten back to our family that we no longer attend. Most of our family is out of state. We have a pretty close relationship with them all and have been supportive to them with all they have been through. They are all getting up in age. We have shared a lot of our doubts with them as well over the years. They do not seem to want to address the issue with us. They never ask if we attend. NEVER! Assemblies are not asked about, attendance at Memorial is not asked about. It's like they don't want to talk or ask about it. Our conversations are pretty much about daily life.

We are not complaining about it (actually it is a great thing), just perplexed. Has anyone else had this happen? If so, what do you think their thought process is? Are they burying their heads in the sand, do they have doubts to but can't discuss them? They don't want to know and don't want to have to choose to not associate with us? Are they just trying to keep us close because they are getting older? We are just curious if any of you have experienced this same thing? If so, what are your thoughts?

AnneB

Every response you get will be pure speculation. Who knows what someone else really thinks? Either ask them directly or let it go; no one here or anywhere else can give you accurate information about your own situation.

Of course similar things happen with other families, you've read enough on this board to know that.

My thought is you just want people to commiserate with you. Toughen up. Every tub has to stand on its own bottom. Walk your own road. Come to your own conclusions. Live your own life your way.

OUTLAW

Has anyone else had this happen?

You`re lucky..

I had to wait for some JW relatives to die, so they would shut up about WBT$/JW topics..

It`s peaceful now..

joe134cd

Be great full. I spent 40 years in the religion e.g attended all meeting and always reported FS. To this present day only 3 people have ever bothered to come around and see me. No elders nothing. NB// 2 of those 3 people were out in F'S and left me with a WT. So go figure on that one.

Tapioca

They might be "old school." This would be a throw-back to another, previous time when shunning a family member meant that you wouldn't speak with them as a spiritual equal...nothing about KH, doctrine, etc. This is the tactic my family used. I would hear them gossiping about the rest of the Jdubs in another room, out of my earshot (but not quite). This was during the 80s when things were much more relaxed.

When you have an entire family in the cult, this can be pretty comfortable b/c you don't have to immediately replace all your community of support. It gave me time to stand on my own and to fade. I don't care what their reason was--I was always glad that I could speak with my parents and grandparents. They are long gone now.

Finkelstein

Has anyone else had this happen?

Yes for close to 40 years since I left, half of the family is in, the other half out.

I guess it comes down to mutual respect ???

As others have said be grateful, many families are totally separated by this maligning cult.

OnTheWayOut

I am faded and my JW family knows I never attend. My JW mother and my in-laws never ask. In my case, they want no reason to shun me, so it's a good thing.

My mother reached out of her comfort zone about 2 weeks before the Memorial and just threw the stray question out- "Are you going to the Memorial this year?" My one-word answer with a certain tone to it ended that discussion- "Nope!"

Xanthippe

Maybe they just want to keep their family together. Maybe they actually believe family matters more than religion. Sound pretty healthy to me. You sound as though you are very supportive of them, perhaps it's a genetic family trait.

ToesUp

Thank you all for your responses. I appreciate it. We are actually very happy all is going this way but we are always prepared for the jig to be up. Yes...the family is very close and most have witnessed and actually have had the JW abuse directly done to them. Maybe Xanthippe you are right. Maybe they really believe in family. I hope so! We just have to be inwardly prepared for anything. The questions may come one day and we are willing to give honest answers. The interesting question will be, will the JW family still accept us as they do now. Too bad we don't have a crystal ball to see the future. We are ready to "go clean" if we have to.

Thanks everyone! This forum is a great therapy to me. Thank you all!

just fine

Yes my parents and I have a great don't ask don't tell relationship. They don't ask me and I don't tell them about holidays etc. they do not bring up anything JW related except the occasional comment about someone I used to know. Those were the contact rules I laid down many years ago. If you want contact with me no JW stuff allowed, otherwise I prefer no contact. They have done pretty well at sticking to the agreed upon arrangement.

Has anyone else experienced this?

Share this