Welcome Marrianne,
Like most here, I do not hate the witnesses. I actually care about them. There are some here who have been so severely harmed by the organization that they have trouble seperating the 'system' that hurt them from the people who blindly support it.
Then, too, there is a measure of anger you may notice as individuals learn step by step that they were mislead. There are many issues that the Society is desperately trying to cover up that are exposed on the internet. I hope you stay around to discover some of them.
By the way, sound like you fit in here. You describe yourself like one of us, and be assured again, I still love my friends in the organization, even those who shun me and have hurt me.
Jst2laws (Steve)