Posts by nugget

7

hmm...not sure what to do...

by wizardca in

the wife and i found out today she is preggo!

we aren't going to share the blessed news with family until the end of the first trimester later this year...if we can hold out and keep it a secret until then.

but i don't know what to do with my jw fam.

I would suggest that as you are not up to date on which celebrations are banned or approved by the organisation that you tell them that you leave it up to them to hold their own baby shower for your wife if they are so inclined so as to avoid offending them by inviting them to a celebration they may not want to participate in. It is so difficult who would have thought a wedding could be offensive so it can be a minefield.

The magazines have mentioned baby showers in the past but I don't remember the exact slant of the article.

50

Letter From My Mother: Moire insane Watchtower Rhetoric

by confusedandalone in

again, i apologize to any who think i may be going overboard posting these letters, but i am hoping that i can help prepare others for the type of bombardment that they may face when dealing with mentally diseased witness parents who have no idea just how much control this cult has over them:.

august 19, 2013. dear <my name removed> & <my wifes name removed>, .

i had the privilege of attending the convention this weekend for a second time and i must say that i enjoyed it more than the first.

nugget

So sorry. Your mother's letter was a complete watchtower manipulation with all the usual rhetoric. She wants you to come back into line and is concerned about your not spending time with them. She blames other people for the distance between you but fails to appreciate that it is her religion and the rules she is enforcing that cause the distance. If you were allowed to be true to yourself and she was allowed to accept that you have an alternative viewpoint then there would be no conflict. It is precisely because they are trying to enforce a paradigm where everyone has to believe the same thing that there is a problem.

In a normal family you accept that others have a different perspective and you may not agree with it but you love them just the same. You can still visit and be assured of acceptance since love isn't conditional on belonging to a specific religion or viewpoint. She is incapable at the moment of considering another perspective.

56

Please help. I am losing the plot.

by wordyword in

after being a witness for 40 years, i now find myself disfellowshipped.. i have had a number of doubts for a few years now, but still feel as if i'm living my life in the "t minus " to armageddon spector.. my parents are in their 80's and my dear mother is in very bad health.

i was allowed to pop through - about once a month to make sure my parents were ok and for them to see their grandchildren.

this all ended after the july watchtower article and especially since the district convention - with all the "counsel" on associating with disfellowshipped family members.. around 6 weeks ago, my dad asked me point blank why i wasn't trying to get reinstated.

nugget

I would send a get well card unsigned, saying heard you were unwell and was thinking of you. I would also arrange for flowers to be delivered in the name of the grandchildren. This lets your mum know you are thinking of her and are aware of her situation.

If your father is controlling it is very hard to make any inroads into his way of thinking but by sending cards etc from yourself and the grandchildren you are doing something positive and showing them that they are still important to you. It is also less confrontational.

48

Need Help - Looks like some one in my family got to know that we are fading...

by MissConfused in

letter from a close family member... need help responding.... what a powerful illustration of the affect that our choice of friends can have on us, especially if we leave jehovah after being 'raised' by him from infancy!.

pack of wolvesthere was a farmer who raised sheep and had trouble with wolves stealing his sheep.

he loved his sheep and didn't want to lose even one of them.

nugget

These stories are nauseating but well befits the jw attitude of zero forgiveness. It didn't matter to the farmer that the wolf had the same thoughts as the prodigal son, it does not matter that he resisted the other wolves nor that he appealed for mercy. The wolf remembered the sheep were his friends, the farmer saw the sheep as his property.

What is the purpose of a flock of sheep? It is to provide wool, milk and food. The farmer would eventually slaughter all his sheep to make a profit the wolf would eat what he needed to satisfy his hunger. In this story the farmer is no hero but a selfish hard hearted man with no compassion for either the wolf or the flock.

In the organisation the congregation are treated as property any that do not add value receive less support and sheep who question the benevolence of their spiritual farmer are given over to the wolves. The sheep that remain in are fed pap and fleeced regularly so yes there is much we can learn from this illustration.

134

Another story... possibly final story

by confusedandalone in

this is the exchange of text messages i had with my super spiritual brother.

it is sad... it is pathetic... it has helped me realize that i have no connection to these people anymore.

i feel free today.

nugget

This reminds me of Jesus rebuking those who were saying they couldn't help their aged parents because their money was dedicated to the temple (corban I think.) If it was wrong then it is certainly wrong now. Your brother needs to consider his financial obligation to his parents before reaching out to the circuit work. If they had given to him out of their surplus then he may be able to forget it but this came out of their need. The man has no conscience.

I expect you will fume and give them the money in the end. It says a lot that their JW son is more selfish than their non JW one. What I would do is ask your parents if they would sell you your brother's debt, then tell your brother he is in debt to you and as you are an evitl apostate he would not wish to be embarrassed by such a financial obligation and would need to pay this off as soon as possible.

21

Christmas

by Mahtaw in

jw
friends

was raised a jw, started fading out about 3 and a half years ago.

i recently had a child, and my in laws are baptist.

they love christmas.

nugget

I love Christmas and making it an annual celebration of freedom from the organisation. Each year I add one decoration with the year on it to remind me that we have had another year of freedom. My husband had the traditional upbringing of no wrapped presents and so I particularly enjoy the fun side of finding things for stockings. Christmas provides shared happy memories and sense of family. It does not have to be huge or expensive but it is fun. If family do all the traditional stuff then ask them what they do and why. You don't have to go overboard but when we did not celebrate it was a way of isolating our children from their peers and making the cult the only place where they would be understood and accepted so celebrating has helped to normalise them and helped them reintegrate into their peer group.

37

Great News!

by haboob48 in

well i do not post here very much and usually what i have to say........well...isn't that important!

but......i am the proud grandmother of twin girls as of august 10!

i am so proud of my daughter, who is 25, just gave birth to twin girls.........no painkillers........nothing!

nugget

Congratulations.

50

Well I gotta go......

by punkofnice in

jw
friends

...i might drop in every now and then but i hope you all enjoy life, escape the watchtower(r) and live prosperous lives.. i can't say i contribute much here anyway (and i'm not attention seeking).. i'm just going to get on with life away from the constant reminder of the mistakes i made being a jw zombie drone.. i guess i'm just going to fade.......rather quickly.. of course i didn't need to make any posts here to disappear but i thought it'd be polite and very british to bid you all a fond farewell.. see you all sometime.....maybe.....maybe not.....maybe....... bye!.

ps.

don't pm me as i won't be checking the pms.. .

nugget

See you around will miss your posts here but life is for living.

20

The happiest people on earth... Yeah right

by Bells in

jw
friends

i am looking for some advice - or maybe just some moral support.. i can't find the link to my previous thread... but in a nutshell... husband and i got married a couple months ago after 10 or so years together.

he was never baptised, but grew up 'in'.

i never had any exposure to the craziness til i met him and his family.

nugget

Don't let jws and their crazy rules spoil your married life. They are prejudiced against anyone who does not share their beliefs. This is unsurprising since all their magazines reinforce the idea that people outside the faith are not important, are selfish, do not have morals and do not need to be considered.

Jw relatives count for more than non jw ones that is the fact. They will never see things from your point of view since you do not count.

It is good that your husband finds their behaviour offensive and he is starting to question his upbringing. For now celebrate your victories, this is a huge one. You have gained more from this episode than you have lost.

29

My August Update

by OnTheWayOut in

jw
friends

i don't really have a purpose in this thread, but wanted to share my thoughts and updates.. fading has, at least for now, totally stabilized.

my jw wife doesn't discuss jw things and, as difficult for me as it is, i haven't been discussing anything directly against jw policy.

oh, i slip in comments when she tries to judge people or groups based on her jw training- things like gay marriage, medical marijuana, pedophile news stories.

nugget

Nice to hear how you are doing. I agree that witnesses are woefully ignorant of their own doctrines and just sleepwalk to the meetings. I think that the writing style and meetings are designed to be repetative and boring so that people just accept what they are told and don't think about their beliefs.

I hope that your wife wakes up eventually life is too precious to waste on slavery to this organisation.